Wang Dehai smiled at Lin Nanji. “Go to the Imperial Household Department and pass along a message for me. The weather is getting colder. Add a few more winter outfits for His Highness.”
Lin Nanji accepted the order.
After leaving Purple Enclosure Palace, Lin Nanji was halfway to the Imperial Household Department when something suddenly felt wrong.
Why had Wang Dehai returned so abruptly?
Although the little crown prince faced plenty of doubts, his food, clothing, and allowances were all provided according to the standards of the heir apparent. He certainly wasn't lacking a few winter outfits.
Lin Nanji belatedly realized he had been deliberately sent away.
It was like a bucket of cold water had been poured over him, chilling him from head to toe.
He hadn't even been exposed as a fake eunuch yet. Was he already going to die over this?
–
After Li Chengxian finished court and returned to Purple Enclosure Palace, he was in a foul mood. He casually picked up a stack of memorials from the table and began reviewing them.
“Report: unrest among the populace in Quanzhou.”
Holding his brush, Li Chengxian wrote heavily: An imperial order for pacification has already been issued.
What kind of useless governor was this? The incident had been reported last month and he was still asking what to do. Open dereliction of duty. The Censorate and Embroidered Guard needed to investigate him thoroughly.
“Repeated auspicious snowfall has blessed Weihai Garrison. Truly a fortunate omen!”
Did they not know where Weihai Garrison was? Heavy snow at this season meant they should report disaster relief, not rush to call it an omen.
Li Chengxian furiously wrote: Provide immediate protection against the cold.
After calming down, he picked up another:
“Commoners in Dali Prefecture have refined a divine medicine capable of making men vigorous as dragons and tigers. It is respectfully offered to the throne.”
“Smack!” Li Chengxian slapped his fine purple-fur wolf-hair brush onto the desk.
What the hell were these ministers he supported doing every day?
Wang Dehai waited outside and sighed when he heard the noise inside.
Court affairs were busy before the year-end, and His Majesty had gotten angry over absurd memorials more than once.
But lately it seemed even more frequent?
Li Chengxian stared at the nonsensical memorial before him, yet Lin Nanji's hateful face kept appearing in his mind.
The first time he heard Lin Nanji's inner thoughts, he had been so frightened he wondered whether the late emperor's ghost had possessed someone.
After hearing them more, he realized the little eunuch's thoughts were unusually straightforward and his nature genuinely kind.
But inside this deep palace, human hearts were the least trustworthy things of all.
Li Chengxian couldn't describe what he felt. In any case, he was somewhat disappointed.
A pity. Such a pleasant-looking little eunuch.
The brush tip pressed against the rice paper, gradually bleeding ink and leaving an ugly blot across the clean white sheet.
Li Chengxian picked up the brush again. As if making a decision, he opened his mouth to call Wang Dehai inside.
At that moment, Wang Dehai lifted the curtain and entered.
“Your Majesty, that boy Lin Nanji requests an audience.”
That little eunuch?
Li Chengxian couldn't identify what he felt. He crumpled the stained paper into a ball and said casually, “Oh? Lin Nanji?”
“Replying to Your Majesty, yes.”
What had he come for this time?
Still trying to find a chance to sneak into the bedchamber?
Without hearing any inner voice, Li Chengxian's gaze turned deep and dark, carrying a chill that made people shiver. His voice was low:
“Let him in.”
For some reason, Wang Dehai felt that although Li Chengxian's words sounded displeased, they also seemed to contain something else.
After delivering the message to the Imperial Household Department, Lin Nanji circled the imperial garden several times. The more he paced, the more he felt his life hanging by a thread.
Finally he stomped his foot, gathered his courage, and went to Purple Enclosure Palace.
After all, the dog emperor was his direct superior.
Once permission was granted, Lin Nanji nervously entered Purple Enclosure Palace. Meeting Li Chengxian's imposing gaze made him even more nervous, and he nearly tangled his feet.
Then he dropped to his knees with a thud and kowtowed several times. “Your Majesty, this servant has something to report.”
Li Chengxian watched him. Without realizing it, he restrained some of his oppressive aura and waited patiently. “Speak.”
Lin Nanji's face reddened first. He stammered, looking extremely embarrassed.
Lin Nanji: 【Fine. You're the one who told me to say it.】
Lin Nanji drew a deep breath and steadied his voice:
“Someone… someone covets Your Majesty's imperial body!”
His clear voice rang across Purple Enclosure Palace. Everyone inside and outside froze, then suffered the urge to cover their ears.
If you're going to say it, why shout so loudly?
They didn't want to hear!
Who coveted the emperor's body? How exactly was His Majesty's imperial body being coveted?
Was this something they were allowed to hear?!
Wang Dehai's old face nearly failed him. Had this boy never learned how to speak? Had he wasted all his time in the Directorate of Ceremonial?
Li Chengxian took several tries to recover his reaction, feeling as if thunder had charred him inside and out.
What did he mean, coveting the imperial body?!
Lin Nanji heard only silence in Purple Enclosure Palace. He licked his dry lips and cautiously took the small bottle from his clothes. “This is physical evidence.”
Lin Nanji: 【Phew—I finally said it. Keeping it bottled up was so uncomfortable.】
【I'm really smart. I came up with such a tactful way to phrase it.】
【And I subtly complimented the dog emperor's body too.】
Li Chengxian could not describe his feelings. They were simply complicated!
Had Lin Nanji stayed away all this time only because he couldn't think of how to say it?
Li Chengxian almost wanted to pry open Lin Nanji's skull and see what was inside.
But no matter what, Lin Nanji had voluntarily come to confess the matter to him. The unhappiness in Li Chengxian's heart vanished, even though it was nothing like what he had imagined.
He signaled Wang Dehai to bring over the little bottle, examined it, and frowned. “What is this?”
Wang Dehai: “Should we summon an imperial physician?”
Lin Nanji was surprised: 【An aphrodisiac! I made it so obvious—covets—the—imperial—body—and that's still not clear enough?】
【Honestly. You married her and then neglected her. No wonder Her Highness couldn't hold back.】
【An aphrodisiac… couldn't that also count as a little fun between husband and wife?】
【Besides, if the dog emperor weren't incapable, why would anyone need to resort to this?!】
Wang Dehai understood too and looked awkwardly at the emperor. “The harem has indeed been neglected for too long.”
Li Chengxian had just forgiven Lin Nanji, only to have his anger reignited. What did he mean, incapable?!
This could not simply be forgotten.
Li Chengxian's cold gaze swept over Lin Nanji. “Go receive five strokes. Right outside Purple Enclosure Palace!”
Lin Nanji: “Thank you, Your Majesty.”
Lin Nanji breathed a sigh of relief. He knew this counted as lenient.
【Wait. I expected the beating, but isn't doing it right outside Purple Enclosure Palace indecent?】
What Lin Nanji had not expected was that receiving strokes required taking off his trousers!
Lin Nanji clutched his backside and looked pleadingly at Li Chengxian. “Your Majesty, can I keep my trousers on?”
【No! Can't take them off! Absolutely cannot take them off!】
Li Chengxian became cheerful again. “Since ancient times, trousers are removed for the rod. Do you expect me to make an exception for you?”
Li Chengxian hadn't expected this little eunuch to care so much about dignity.
Lin Nanji: 【What a pervert!】
Lin Nanji panicked inside but dared not show it. He hastily invented an excuse. “This servant has a terrible sore on his backside and dares not offend Your Majesty's eyes!”
Li Chengxian only wanted to tease him. Seeing how anxious Lin Nanji was, he had achieved his purpose and magnanimously relented. “Beat him like this.”
After all, he had no fetish for looking at eunuchs' backsides.
Lin Nanji relaxed and obediently lay down.
The four attendants holding the court rods raised them. When they struck, there was none of the expected agony.
Five strokes were finished quickly.
It hurt, but nowhere near enough to split the skin.
【So that's what being beaten with rods is like. It's not nearly as frightening as I imagined.】
Lin Nanji didn't know there were rules to beatings inside the palace too.
If the emperor truly hated someone, they struck hard.
If the emperor did not hate someone that much, they struck lightly and merely put on a show, taking great care not to injure the person badly.
The men administering punishment saw that the emperor had even allowed Lin Nanji to keep his trousers on. They had more or less understood: this eunuch might be receiving punishment, but he was probably going to become a favorite before the throne.
Why would they be stupid enough to offend an imperial favorite? Naturally, they used light force.
Lin Nanji rubbed his backside and thanked Li Chengxian. “Thank you for Your Majesty's mercy.”
He also thought this little eunuch wasn't quite as clever as he'd imagined. However powerful the Noble Consort was, could she be more powerful than the emperor?
Didn't he know to come cling to the emperor's thigh?
“Cause trouble again and it won't be only five strokes next time.” Li Chengxian did not forget to threaten him.
Lin Nanji: “Your Majesty is generous and benevolent. This servant will never dare again.”
Lin Nanji returned to the attendants' quarters to recover while holding his backside.
But this matter was not over.
Two days later, Noble Consort Qin suddenly stormed into Purple Enclosure Palace and immediately began tearfully accusing, “Your Majesty, someone stole this consort's bellyband!”
Qin Yilan: “It was the Crown Prince!”
Lin Nanji, waiting in the outer hall and already glared at several times by Noble Consort Qin, was dumbfounded.
Your Highness, do you know what you're saying?
The little crown prince wasn't even five! Stealing a bellyband?
When the little crown prince was brought in, he was still holding a water-red mandarin-duck embroidered bellyband. His small face was solemn and resembled Li Chengxian's by seventy percent.
Even Wang Dehai looked baffled. “Your Highness, the Crown Prince is only four years old, not even old enough to understand such matters. There must be some misunderstanding.”
Qin Yilan covered her face and wept. “He was caught in the act! Your Majesty must give me justice!”
Li Chengxian pulled the little crown prince in front of him. “Tell Father Emperor exactly what happened.”
The little crown prince glanced at Li Chengxian, hesitation flashing in his eyes.
But he refused to speak.
Triumph flashed through Qin Yilan's eyes.
The crown prince was mute anyway. Wasn't the story whatever she said it was?
Qin Yilan: “And that's not all. His Highness is disrespectful toward his teachers and elders, shows no regard for seniority, and mistreats palace servants!”
The wet nurse dropped to her knees. “His Highness is still young. It cannot be taken seriously!”
A palace maid beside Qin Yilan yanked up the wet nurse's sleeve. There was a deep bite mark, still bloodied.
Li Chengxian inhaled deeply and looked at the little crown prince. “Did you do this?”
The little crown prince met his gaze without flinching.
