Li Chengxian coughed lightly. “Something is missing from the palace. It would be inconvenient for me to search personally. Noble Consort, go to General Qin's bed and look on my behalf.”
Although Qin Yilan did not understand, she obeyed.
Lin Nanji: 【!】
【That's a great idea!】
Qin Yilan rose and pulled aside the bed curtains. She failed to notice Qin Fang's expression instantly becoming nervous.
Qin Yilan lifted the quilt and found nothing. Just as she was about to move the pillow, a gust swept past her. Qin Fang rushed forward, snatched the object beneath the pillow first, and stuffed it inside his robe.
Qin Yilan: “Brother, what are you doing?”
Qin Fang's face turned bright red.
“It's intimate clothing. It isn't appropriate to show it to Your Highness.”
Qin Fang's movement had been fast, but Qin Yilan had still seen enough to recognize the object.
When Qin Yilan first entered the palace, the proud young lady raised in a general's household had tried to please Li Chengxian by imitating ordinary wives and making shoes and socks for her husband. She had specially embroidered a pair of silk socks with a colorful design of a dragon soaring through the heavens.
The reason Qin Yilan recognized them instantly was because the socks were… exceptionally ugly.
Qin Yilan froze for two seconds. “Aren't those…”
Lin Nanji: 【Oh-ho!】
He hurried to look at General Qin again and saw Qin Fang visibly flustered, jaw suddenly tense, eyes darting away. Under Qin Yilan's stare, he nervously licked his lower lip. “Little sister, you made these for me before you married. Have you forgotten?”
The instant he finished, several gazes focused on Qin Fang in unison.
Qin Yilan wore an expression that clearly said, Brother, have you lost your mind?
Lin Nanji's inner voice drifted out darkly: 【What decent sister embroiders a golden dragon on socks for her brother?】
【Do you think the Noble Consort's rank isn't high enough?】
【Do you think the family isn't powerful enough already?】
【Do you find having an entire clan of relatives too annoying?】
Fury entered Li Chengxian's eyes. He pointed casually. “You. Take them out!”
Being pointed at, Lin Nanji had no choice but to step forward. He forced himself to address Qin Fang. “Great General, forgive the offense.”
The socks were tucked against Qin Fang's chest.
But Lin Nanji's clean-freak tendencies flared.
【Aaaaaah! These socks have been unwashed for so long. I really don't want to touch them!】
Lin Nanji hesitated, not noticing that Li Chengxian's expression behind him had changed.
A little eunuch actually dared be disgusted by him. He didn't want to touch them either, but he was the emperor.
Li Chengxian suddenly remembered that this little eunuch really was unusually clean. His clothes were always neat and spotless, and after doing anything he liked wiping his hands with a handkerchief.
Li Chengxian grew displeased and stared at Lin Nanji's back. “What are you waiting for?”
Lin Nanji had no choice but to grit his teeth and pull the socks from Qin Fang's clothes.
The socks were somewhat old and the embroidery painfully ugly, but one could still clearly recognize the dragon stitched across them.
A minister privately possessing objects connected to the dragon was already a serious taboo. Qin Fang dropped to his knees with a thud. “Your Majesty, spare me!”
Wang Dehai's old face reddened.
Ah, this… who would have imagined the Great General was like this?
Lin Nanji held the socks by the edge in disgust while secretly examining them.
【Good heavens! How long have these socks been sitting around? He never washed them, did he?!】
【They're really the dog emperor's original-scent socks!】
Lin Nanji couldn't help becoming curious: 【Keeping them under the pillow every day… doesn't it stink? He must have sweated a lot during the hunt, right?】
【A stern, iron-boned man, late at night when every household is asleep, lighting one dim candle and secretly taking a pair of socks from beneath the pillow to remember someone by the object…】
Li Chengxian's face turned green. He waved sharply at Lin Nanji, telling him to move farther away.
Lin Nanji silently took the socks and stood by the doorway.
Li Chengxian remained silent for a while, blue veins slowly bulging on the back of his hand.
He had been born into the imperial family. Even when he was not the favored child, outsiders had always shown him nine parts respect. Since ascending the throne, the ministers below had been even more careful not to overstep.
When had anyone ever offended him like this?!
And it was—it was another man!
Li Chengxian ground his teeth. “Qin Fang, because you once rendered meritorious service protecting the sovereign, I will spare you corporal punishment. From today, you are confined for three months. After the New Year, immediately report to the southwestern frontier. Without an imperial decree, you may not return to the capital.”
Qin Fang stared at the emperor in disbelief with his resolute eyes.
The next instant, Qin Fang lunged forward and hugged Li Chengxian's thigh.
“Your Majesty, this minister's loyalty is unwavering and can be witnessed by heaven and earth! Please withdraw the order!”
“This minister is willing to suffer corporal punishment in the Imperial Prison. I only beg Your Majesty not to send me away!”
“Waaaaaah!”
Two streams of huge tears rolled down Qin Fang's cheeks and soaked Li Chengxian's trousers.
Lin Nanji stared dumbfounded. Who could imagine a Great General who had slaughtered countless enemies, an iron-boned northern man, crying like a two-hundred-pound child?
【…Ah. As expected of the Great General who gets scolded at court, then goes home and hugs the emperor's socks while crying.】
Was this really necessary?!
Qin Yilan frowned.
Something was very strange.
Especially those socks. She had watched carefully for a long time. The emperor had never worn them again after the autumn hunt, which had hurt her feelings for ages.
How had they ended up here with her brother?
In a flash, the missing connection in her mind suddenly snapped into place.
Qin Yilan stared at her brother in disbelief, face paling as she staggered back two steps.
Qin Fang was still pouring out his heart. “This minister's true feelings for Your Majesty can be witnessed by the sun and moon!”
True feelings?
What kind of true feelings?
An answer suddenly appeared in Qin Yilan's mind.
She said nothing, turned, and left the room. When she returned, she carried two kitchen cleavers.
“Awooo—little sister, what are you doing?! Stop—!”
Qin Yilan wielded both cleavers and chased Qin Fang all over the residence.
Lin Nanji: 【Whoa! They say Noble Consort Qin's martial arts were no worse than the General's before she entered the palace. Today I finally get to see them!】
【If women could go to the battlefield, Noble Consort Qin could probably charge through enemy lines seven times and return safely!】
Li Chengxian was genuinely confused. What sort of people had he taken into his harem?
Qin Yilan's eyes blazed. “What feelings exactly do you harbor toward His Majesty?! Explain yourself!”
Qin Fang stammered, “Anyway, it's… it's like that.”
Qin Yilan hurled one cleaver into a pillar beside Qin Fang. “Shameless!”
“You harbor those feelings, yet you pushed me to marry His Majesty. What were you thinking?!”
Qin Fang dodged while explaining, “If you gave birth to an imperial son, I'd devote myself to helping him ascend the throne. Then we'd all be one family.”
Qin Yilan trembled with rage, her eyes reddening. “What do you take me for?!”
A sense of utter absurdity rose inside her.
“Do you know that before I entered the palace, Yulang was already preparing to come to our family and propose marriage?!”
“I've been in the palace for two years, and His Majesty has visited Palace of Heavenly Succession only a handful of times. Do you know how I endured it, Brother?”
Qin Fang's arms slowly dropped. “Your brother has wronged you.”
Qin Yilan threw the other cleaver hard in front of Qin Fang. “Take care of yourself. I will personally confess to His Majesty the sins I caused.”
***
The next day, ministers whispered among themselves before morning court. The road to the audience hall was exceptionally lively.
The Minister of Works and the Director of the Court of State Ceremonial walked together whispering. “I heard His Majesty stormed into the Great General's residence yesterday and stole his favorite concubine!”
The Director's eyes lit up. “Really?”
A Vice Director of the Armory Office squeezed in. “Impossible! General Qin's residence doesn't even have a female bird in it. Where would a concubine come from?”
The Minister of Works lowered his voice. “I heard—that concubine is male, and exceptionally beautiful.”
The Vice Director of the Armory Office: “!!! I always said there was something odd about General Qin!”
“And that's not all. Yesterday Noble Consort Qin chased General Qin all over the residence with kitchen cleavers. Even His Majesty couldn't stop her!”
“Noble Consort Qin has martial skill like that?”
“A mere woman wielding blades and weapons in front of His Majesty—how improper.”
“I hear she also had a conflict with the Crown Prince. Apparently the Noble Consort confessed her guilt and moved herself into the Cold Palace.”
“So did His Majesty successfully steal the concubine?”
“He did, he did! They changed him into eunuch clothing and brought him straight back into the palace. They say he's exceptionally beautiful!”
Very quickly, the gossip spread from minister to minister. By the time morning court began, more than half the officials knew of the emperor's outrageous behavior the previous day.
The ministers had already arranged themselves inside Hall of Supreme Harmony, but the person meant to sit on the dragon throne had still not appeared.
In the dream, Qin Fang's private possession of Li Chengxian's personal things became public and everyone under heaven knew. At court, ministers pointed at him and whispered, occasionally bursting into laughter.
Censor-in-Chief Wang and the men from the Censorate cursed him especially viciously.
Li Chengxian tossed and turned in the dream, then saw Lin Nanji expose how he used to slack off from studying as a child and draw turtles on his tutor's face. His old tutor was so furious he pointed at Li Chengxian's nose and cursed him.
Li Chengxian jerked awake drenched in sweat and called hoarsely for Wang Dehai:
“Put Lin Nanji in the Imperial Prison.”
Wang Dehai froze. What had that boy done to deserve the Imperial Prison?
