Novel

Say It Again! Junglers Can’t Have Babies! / Author: QiqitongChapter 11

Chapter 11

You Zhi splashed his face with water again to wake himself up, then went over and opened the door.

Cub looked up at You Zhi. “Mr. You!”

Shen Zichen was there too, standing half a meter away. He was typing on his phone, as though completely ignoring You Zhi’s existence.

“I’m sorry, Mr. You. Cub was reckless this afternoon,” Cub mumbled. “Cub just missed Daddy too much…”

You Zhi glanced at Shen Zichen.

Shen Zichen paused in the middle of replying to a message, but otherwise showed no reaction.

“Cub won’t do it again,” Cub said.

You Zhi cleared his throat and crouched down until his eyes were level with Cub’s. He looked at the child in front of him, who resembled him somewhat, smiling until his eyes curved, his gaze clear and clean.

Something inside You Zhi was suddenly touched. This was his son…

“Cub? What’s your name?”

“Shen Zexuan.” Cub’s voice was soft and milky, and he did not pronounce the final syllable very clearly.

You Zhi shaped the words with his mouth. “Shen Zexi?”

Cub shook his head. “Xuan…”

“Shen Zexu?”

Cub shook his head seriously. “No, it’s…”

“Shen Zexuan.” Shen Zichen calmly interrupted the conversation between the adult and child.

You Zhi felt a little embarrassed, rubbed his nose, and gave an “oh.”

Zhao Rui stepped forward and picked Cub up first. As Cub was leaving, in a place Shen Zichen could not see, he silently mouthed at You Zhi, “Daddy, I’ll miss you!”

You Zhi: ……

Who knew whom this child had inherited all these little tricks from…

“Cub doesn’t want to leave,” Shen Zichen said, putting away his phone. “He’s also been spoiled by me.”

You Zhi gave an awkward smile. Usually eloquent, he had no idea how to interact with the gentle, unfailingly courteous father standing before him—especially when this man also had a child with him.

Ah! You Zhi still could not accept it!

He had actually given birth to a child this big!

“You signed a contract with the program, so you can’t simply leave whenever you want. But I hope that during filming, we can maintain an appropriate distance.” Shen Zichen’s expression was calm. “I genuinely do dislike you.”

You Zhi lifted a brow.

“If you cross any boundaries while recording this program, I will make absolutely sure the rest of your life is miserable.” Shen Zichen’s eyes abruptly turned cold. “You are Cub’s father. That is a fact. Cub is young and doesn’t understand things, so he feels close to you. But I hope you know your limits.”

You Zhi lowered his eyes, glanced toward the direction Cub had left, and gave a muffled hum.

Shen Zichen left.

You Zhi actually admired Shen Zichen quite a bit. Given what the original owner had done, Shen Zichen could easily have used his influence to crush him so thoroughly he would never recover.

Yet aside from losing his temper once when You Zhi spoke inappropriately, Shen Zichen had managed to communicate with him calmly every other time.

You Zhi had no idea how Cub had convinced Shen Zichen. He had already planned to withdraw from the show that very night if Shen Zichen pressured him.

Half an hour earlier, a certain cub had been teary-eyed. “Why do we have to leave the program? Daddy clearly promised Cub we could come, and now you want to leave. Daddy doesn’t keep his promises! And that person is clearly Daddy. Why does Daddy say he isn’t? I can feel it. Daddy still wants to lie to me.”

“Cub was always alone before. I finally found Daddy, and now Cub still has to be taken away.” Cub’s lips trembled. “Why do all the other children have a Daddy, but Cub doesn’t…”

Shen Zichen’s head hurt. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

……

You Zhi lazily leaned against the doorframe, watching Shen Zichen’s retreating back. With a headache, he muttered, “What kind of sin did I commit? Transmigrating into cannon fodder was bad enough, and now I have to pay off the original owner’s debts too.”

That evening, the production team sent a group message saying they would hold the first day of internal team training.

By the time You Zhi went upstairs, most of the other contestants and coaches had already arrived.

The show appeared to have secured quite a few endorsements and had plenty of funding. The third-floor training room alone was as large as a basketball court, with rows of computers, plus a lounge area, entertainment area, and even a place to get coffee.

After going upstairs, You Zhi greeted the contestants and found his assigned computer station.

The computer setup was not as good as the one he had used in his previous world, but it was decent enough. After all, this was a variety show, not a professional tournament.

You Zhi turned on the computer, put on his headset, tested the keyboard, and played one match to warm up.

Halfway through, Ji Yanzhi came over.

“Brother Zhi, how did you train your hand speed? I’ve watched your streams before. It’s insane. You can swap three items in one second,” Ji Yanzhi said.

You Zhi took off his headset.

“Practice a few hundred or a thousand times and any human can build that kind of hand speed,” You Zhi said casually, killing a mid laner as he spoke.

“That cross-cut was good.” Bai Chumin came over and leaned against You Zhi’s chair. “Their mid should be coming over to check the jungle. Finish this and get out quickly. Don’t get caught.”

“Can’t leave,” You Zhi said coolly.

He looped around behind them, Flashed in, cut more than half the enemy ADC’s health, stunned with his weapon, then followed with another basic attack.

He dove the tower and finished the kill.

“Holy shit, that was amazing. You knew even without vision.” Several other contestants gathered around too.

The corner of You Zhi’s mouth held the same effortless, confident smile. “It’s just counting seconds. That ADC had just been killed by my full combo in bot lane. His respawn timer was thirty seconds. I had just finished clearing the enemy jungle, and by the time I looped around on the other route, I could run straight into him. Even without vision, don’t hesitate. Charge in. Worst case, nobody’s there and you slink back embarrassed.”

A whole circle of people surrounded You Zhi’s gaming station, craning their heads inward. Through the gaps, they could occasionally see You Zhi’s confident, flamboyant smile, just as eye-catching as his pink hair.

When Shen Zichen came upstairs, this was the first scene he saw.

Qi Min was a professional player and also the top laner on You Zhi’s team. The Qi family and Shen Zichen’s family had been friends for generations, so Qi Min already knew Shen Zichen.

The two came upstairs together.

“What’s wrong?” Qi Min followed his gaze.

Shen Zichen lowered his eyes. “Nothing.”

He found his own station and loaded the game. Qi Min casually dragged over a chair and sat beside him. “You should’ve told me earlier you were coming on this show. Seeing you here scared me half to death.”

“Brother Shen, seriously.” Qi Min asked, “You don’t even know how to play. Why did you come?”

Shen Zichen entered the game interface and immediately started matchmaking. “Cub. He wanted to come play.”

Qi Min suddenly understood. If that was the reason, everything made sense. Shen Zichen had always granted practically every request from his precious son.

“Then should I teach you how to play now?” Qi Min asked.

Shen Zichen did not object. When it came to things he did not know or understand, he was perfectly willing to accept guidance.

“Here. Keep your hand movement closer to this side. Don’t let the mouse drift,” Qi Min said. “Forward, back, then left. Still drifting a little.”

Shen Zichen stretched his hand and tried again. “Now?”

“Look. Our game has three lanes: mid, top, and bottom.” Qi Min gestured as he explained. “Your substitute role right now is bottom-lane ADC. That means you follow the support down this lane.”

Shen Zichen nodded.

“Killing minions earns gold. So do river crabs. With gold, you buy equipment. Every item has different properties, so match them to your hero. For example, the hero you picked relies on attack speed, so build more attack-speed items. And remember: stay behind the support as much as possible. You’re the damage dealer. Don’t stand too far forward and give the enemy a chance to catch you,” Qi Min said.

Shen Zichen nodded. After buying equipment, he followed behind the support.

“The jungler is coming down, right?” Shen Zichen said while controlling his character.

Qi Min had not noticed at all. Before he could react, the enemy jungler had already come down to gank. But Shen Zichen dodged, retreated under the tower, and did not let the jungler catch him.

“Whoa. Your awareness is pretty damn good. How did you know?” Qi Min was beginning to wonder whether Shen Zichen had secretly been playing behind his back.

Shen Zichen was silent for two seconds before speaking. “Timing. It takes a jungler roughly thirty seconds to clear one side of the jungle. Just now the jungler ganked mid, then after clearing the jungle, he could naturally move downward to gank the ADC.”

Qi Min could not shake the feeling that those words sounded familiar. “Brother Shen, not gonna lie, you’re actually pretty talented. You pick things up fast too. When I first started playing, it took me at least a week before I could play decently.”

While they were talking, You Zhi’s voice came from nearby.

“Qi Min, come play a team match.” You Zhi raised a hand toward him.

“I have to go.” Qi Min answered. “Play by yourself for now.”

Shen Zichen nodded.

You Zhi only played one team match with them. The opposing team was made up of people he often played with during livestreams.

Yu Xiang’an was their team’s support and also a professional player.

“Bro, bro, bro, bro, can you stay behind me?!” Yu Xiang’an shouted at the marksman over voice chat. “The jungler is already diving in, my guy!”

The marksman was one of FE’s professional players. He had frozen for just a second and was immediately taken out by the enemy jungler.

“Keep your awareness up!” You Zhi called commands while playing. “Yu Xiang’an, follow me first. Come here, use crowd control, and catch someone.”

“Yes, Brother Zhi!” Yu Xiang’an was a You Zhi fan and had a lively personality. “Brother Zhi! I’m coming to heal you!”

The enemy mid laner had built tank items. You Zhi dumped his entire kit into him and barely scratched him, while the enemy top laner was already about to arrive.

Yu Xiang’an shouted again, “Brother Zhi! I’m coming to protect His Majesty!”

In the end, Yu Xiang’an died and You Zhi escaped successfully.

“Thank you to our beautiful, kind, sweet omega An’an.” When You Zhi’s mouth turned vicious, it was genuinely vicious, but when he decided to sweet-talk someone, nobody could withstand it either.

Teammates at the other stations all pretended to vomit.

“Brother Zhi, stop. I ate too much tonight,” Ji Yanzhi said.

“Stop flirting with omegas all day,” Bai Chumin said.

“Daddy Zhi, don’t do this to me. I won’t be able to sleep when I get back,” Yu Xiang’an said.

You Zhi whistled, smiling as he took a lollipop from the nearby cabinet and put it in his mouth.

They only played one team match. After that, everyone played on their own while You Zhi walked around giving guidance.

“Their mid counters you. You can’t pick this one. Switch heroes.” You Zhi tapped Ji Yanzhi’s desk. “Your build is wrong too. You can’t take Hunter runes.”

“Got it, Brother Zhi!” Ji Yanzhi said.

Ji Yanzhi was a celebrity idol, apparently the center-position leader of a group. His mechanics were decent, so You Zhi had picked him as mid laner. He was extremely friendly and familiar with people.

Their team consisted of You Zhi on jungle, Ji Yanzhi mid, Yu Xiang’an support, Qi Min top, and Hao Xing marksman.

But Hao Xing clearly could not keep up with their tempo. You Zhi had noticed it while jungling just now. The marksman did not know how to bait people. If he had pulled the enemy out from under tower earlier, You Zhi could have killed the ADC directly from the bush.

Maybe their coordination was not good enough yet.

“Bro, don’t push up. Your support is already gone,” You Zhi said.

Hao Xing nodded. “Got it.”

Every time You Zhi watched the mechanics of these professional players, his head hurt. But when talking to an omega, his tone unconsciously softened. “An’an, can we not stay glued to bot lane? Go check a bush, okay?”

Yu Xiang’an scratched his head sheepishly. “Then I’ll go check.”

You Zhi patted his head. “Good boy.”

“Qi Min!” You Zhi sucked in a breath and nearly lost it. “How far are you chasing him?! Did you not see the team fight start?! This is five versus five, not one versus one! Their mid tower is almost pushed to high ground! Are you and their top laner dating or something?”

Qi Min said flatly, “The team fight can be lost. The one-on-one cannot.”

You Zhi smiled without warmth. “Mm. Amazing.”

He could not be bothered anymore. He went out to get a cup of water and, while he was at it, checked the progress of the other teams.

“Oh? Captain Bai, why are you 3–9?” You Zhi rested a hand on Bai Chumin’s shoulder.

Bai Chumin rolled his eyes. “Go back to your own team. Stop making people hate you.”

You Zhi then went to provoke Chen Mianhe.

Chen Mianhe was basically their big brother, a genuine professional coach who had trained national champions. Honestly, every time You Zhi looked at him, he felt as though he were looking at his old team captain.

“Brother Chen, how’s it going?” You Zhi inspected enemy conditions, then caught the jungler on Chen Mianhe’s side and started mouthing off. “Little brother, your jungle is gone.”

“How could that…” The jungler refused to believe him at first. When he went over and discovered it really was gone, black lines practically covered his forehead.

“You Zhi, can you settle down for five minutes?” Chen Mianhe said. “Go back and train, or the vast internet audience is going to accuse you of slacking.”

You Zhi pouted. After wandering one full circle, he went back and started pestering Bai Chumin again.

“Captain Bai, bet you a thousand there’s someone in that bush,” You Zhi said.

Bai Chumin laughed. “They just showed vision. They’re all top lane. Nobody’s there.”

You Zhi shrugged. “One thousand.”

The moment the words left his mouth, You Zhi reached over and pressed a key. Bai Chumin’s hero walked forward and was instantly hacked to death by two enemies springing from the bush.

Bai Chumin: ……

You Zhi patted his shoulder. “Transfer the money.”

Shen Zichen’s station was right beside Bai Chumin’s, diagonally upper-left from You Zhi’s station.

While watching Bai Chumin play, You Zhi instinctively swept a glance over Shen Zichen’s mechanics out of professional habit.

Two words: painfully unfamiliar.

One look and you knew he had never played before. You Zhi still could not understand why he had come on this show. He was an actor. He could simply go act properly instead of wading into these muddy waters.

Their tiny temple could not accommodate a great Buddha like Shen Zichen.

Shen Zichen was about to enter the jungle.

You Zhi instinctively pressed down on his arm. “Don’t go.”