Novel

Say It Again! Junglers Can’t Have Babies! / Author: QiqitongChapter 7

Chapter 7

Three years passed in the blink of an eye. You Zhi had fully adapted to life in this world: blocker once every morning, blocker once every night, absolutely no messing around outside during heat, and he had befriended a whole group of little Os—only for all of them to treat him like a sister.

As for the postpartum stress disorder, it had not improved in the slightest. Right around the middle of every month, the pain arrived on schedule. Every time, he had to go to Jiang Ye’s hospital and stay three or four days until the pain finally passed.

In the livestreaming industry, whenever anyone mentioned esports streamers, You Zhi had become the first name that came to mind.

You Zhi had PKed many other streamers—esports influencers and retired players among them—but none were his match. After every game, You Zhi would even give them a few pointers.

At first, those people refused to accept it.

Later, they discovered the streamer was actually right. Once they adjusted their playstyle according to You Zhi’s advice, their win rates genuinely improved a lot.

Gradually, some people began specifically connecting with You Zhi to play just so they could get a few words of guidance from him at the end.

Through one interaction after another, You Zhi established his status as the jungler of the livestreaming scene.

You Zhi discovered that instead of playing with rookies, he might as well play with professionals. At least they were on roughly the same level.

So You Zhi also befriended a whole pile of professional players, and most pros came to know him as well.

You Zhi—that million-follower gaming content creator, professional players’ specialist sparring partner and coach.

You Zhi’s signature pink hair also made him highly recognizable. These days, if he went outside, he would sometimes be recognized by accident, with people even chasing him down for autographs.

You Zhi spent every day hanging around with a group of professionals. One of them was Bai Chumin, the coach of a professional team.

The man was an old fox. He claimed he wanted to be friends with You Zhi, but in reality, he wanted You Zhi to play with the five kids on his team and give them a few pointers along the way.

During today’s livestream, You Zhi was once again queueing with several players from their team, and he simply could not control his mouth.

If he played with randoms and they made some small mistake, You Zhi would pretend not to notice. After all, random players were not professionals. They played games for fun.

But if a professional still had holes everywhere, You Zhi could not stand it. It made him furious. By the end of one match, he had caught the three kids and nagged them nonstop for an hour.

“Positioning! Where are you looking? Awareness, awareness!” The sound of You Zhi hammering the keyboard grew louder.

“Little brother, you’re the support. Can you move farther forward?!”

“Top lane! Top lane! What garbage are you building? It conflicts with the runes you brought!”

“Mid! I told you not to give up the river crab! Save your first skill to contest the river crab!”

Comments:

[Daddy Zhi is genuinely angry this time…]

[His face is so dark! Feels like all that pink hair on his head is bunching together into sparks!]

[They deserve to be yelled at. Pros are playing worse and worse these days. How many seasons has it been since we made Worlds? Do they have no fucking self-awareness?]

By the end of the stream, You Zhi felt as though the anger alone was about to trigger his postpartum stress disorder. His stomach hurt.

“Bai Chumin, you’re really shameless.” You Zhi took a drink of water and cleared his throat, which he had practically shouted hoarse from all the scolding.

Bai Chumin was their team’s coach. He had also met You Zhi through gaming. Bai Chumin’s skills were genuinely good enough to earn You Zhi’s respect, and the two often queued together.

“You’re the one who spoiled them into this. Compete at this level? They should go home, wash up, and sleep.” You Zhi popped a Watermelon Frost lozenge into his mouth.

He had been livestreaming every day lately. For the sake of stream entertainment, he talked nonstop, and his throat was almost ruined from shouting.

Bai Chumin sat in a gaming chair, apparently at the team’s training base. “I asked you to play one game with them. Instead, you trained those kids so hard they probably won’t recover their confidence for months.”

You Zhi sneered and started another match. “If a few harsh words are enough to destroy them, they should quit early. Competition has no use for trash like that.”

You Zhi’s mouth had always been vicious. Bai Chumin did not mind and simply laughed. “True.”

Back when You Zhi competed in his previous world, he had been a thorny troublemaker himself. His coaches yelled at him every day too. The worst part was knowing they were right and having no way to argue back, so he could only sulk at himself.

Out of twenty-four hours in a day, You Zhi spent nearly fifteen training.

During the few hours left over, he even got yelled at in his dreams.

“The level of players these days is bad because the entire competitive environment is bad. There are too few naturally gifted players. Every now and then a genius appears, but none of them want to suffer through hard training. Otherwise, they go livestream and make easy money.”

You Zhi kept playing, expression sour. “What kind of fucking garbage is this? They have zero game sense. They’ve turned competition into a joke.”

Bai Chumin nodded. “Have you heard the news that’s been circulating online lately?”

“What news?”

“Several entertainment companies are planning to cooperate with the esports scene and develop an esports variety show,” Bai Chumin said. “They contacted our team too. I’m planning to let the kids try it.”

You Zhi inhaled and thought for a while before speaking. “Going is definitely a good thing. It’ll raise interest and get more people paying attention to esports. If the show does well, it might attract a whole wave of trainees and help discover young talent.”

Bai Chumin hummed. “That’s what I think too.”

You Zhi was still playing.

“I’m planning to invite you to go with us,” Bai Chumin said.

You Zhi’s hand slipped and his ultimate went wide. He clicked his tongue. “Are you kidding?”

“I’m not. The show is choosing several coaches as head coaches for the competing teams. Your skill is publicly recognized in the esports scene now, and with your face on top of that, they’ll definitely invite you.”

Just imagining all those cameras pointed at him, having to act easygoing in front of the lens, unable to swear…

Kill him. Just kill him.

“I have no filter. If I go, not a single sentence I say will be broadcastable,” You Zhi said.

Bai Chumin laughed. “It’s fine. You’re the most popular esports streamer right now. If you go, you’re guaranteed to bring attention. And besides… aren’t you in the Looks category? With a face that good, how could you not show it? Once the program airs, you’ll definitely gain a whole crowd of fans just for your looks.”

You Zhi actually liked being in the spotlight. Otherwise, he would not have chosen to become a professional player in his previous world either.

“Then I’ll think about it?” You Zhi said.

Bai Chumin shrugged. “Up to you.”

—

Shen Zichen had just attended the premiere of a film, his new movie produced in collaboration with a British production company. This release was opening domestically and overseas at the same time.

Shen Zichen wore a suit that emphasized his well-proportioned figure.

Outside, fans who had waited for a long time filled the entrance. As one of the pillars of the entertainment industry, Shen Zichen no longer counted as a mere traffic star. His fanbase had essentially stabilized, but most people still recognized his face and could accurately name the projects he had acted in.

He was an evergreen among serious actors.

“Brother! How has Cub been lately?” a fan called before Shen Zichen got into the car.

Shen Zichen smiled. “He’s doing very well. He grew a few centimeters again over the past half month. The little guy was happy about it for days.”

“AAAAAH! I love you, Brother Chen!”

Shen Zichen had just stepped into the nanny van and closed the door when a child suddenly popped around from the back seat wearing a tiger mask, trying to scare him. “Mr. Shen! Guess who I am!”

Shen Zichen’s features softened. He picked Cub up and sat him in the child seat beside him. “Who could it be? What if Daddy can’t guess?”

“If you can’t guess, Cub will get angry.” The little tiger spread his gloved paws. “Guess quickly!”

Zhao Rui laughed from the back seat. This little thing spent all day inventing games.

His boss was the same—he had absolutely no temper with Cub and spoiled him completely.

“Could it be our God Xuan?” Shen Zichen asked with a slight lift of his brow.

The little tiger pulled off the mask and grinned. “Yes!”

Cub’s real name: Shen Zexuan. An underage alpha!

According to the housekeeper, Cub had recently become obsessed with esports. Every day at home, his favorite thing was sitting in his rocking chair with an iPad watching all kinds of esports livestreams.

He had even persuaded the housekeeper and nannies who looked after him to call him “God Xuan.”

“You guessed right. It is I, God Xuan.” Cub patted his chest, sat obediently in the child seat, and fastened his own seat belt.

“The young master seems to have grown again. His speech is much more organized too,” Zhao Rui said.

Shen Zichen nodded. Half a month ago, when the little guy got excited, his words still came out disconnected and confused. After only half a month apart, he was already much more articulate.

“Children grow quickly.” Shen Zichen rubbed the tiger hat on the little boy’s head.

“Daddy.” The little guy blinked.

“What is it?”

“Why is my hair black?” Cub asked with wide eyes. “Can I have pink hair?”

Shen Zichen and Zhao Rui exchanged a glance. “What has he been watching lately?”

The accompanying nanny said, “Young Master has been especially fond of esports livestreams recently. Everyone in them dyes their hair all sorts of colors. He’s probably been influenced by them.”

“He’s this young. Can he even understand what he’s watching?” Zhao Rui asked.

“Honestly, he mostly looks at the faces. The young men in those streams are pretty good-looking,” the nanny said.

Shen Zichen shook his head. “He’s only three and a half. It would be better not to expose him to these things too early.”

The little tiger hat pouted. “Cub likes watching!”

“But baby, can you understand those things?” Shen Zichen asked.

Cub shook his head, then nodded. “He’s really good. They’re all really good. He says lots of things. Cub likes listening to him talk by myself. Then I’m not lonely.”

The little guy lowered his head.

The emotion in Shen Zichen’s eyes darkened.

“Actually… actually, Young Master only watches for a little while each day. It isn’t much,” the nanny said.

“How did he learn about these livestreams?” Shen Zichen asked. “Did you find them for him?”

“No, no, no.” The nanny hurriedly shook her head. “Young Master found them himself. While watching Lego videos, a livestream popped up once. He tapped into it, and after that he figured out where to find them very quickly.”

Zhao Rui tried to smooth things over and cleared his throat. “Looks like Cub is pretty smart, huh.”

Shen Zichen had been a little too busy over the past six months, leaving him less time to spend with Cub. Only during breaks between jobs, inside the nanny van, could he stay with the child for a while.

After every short visit, Cub had to be sent back to the residence again.

Shen Zichen sighed silently. The little guy was making a point to him. That tiny head was full of schemes. Who knew whom he had inherited that from?

“Let Cub stay with me for a while,” Shen Zichen told Zhao Rui. “Have someone prepare everything he’ll need in advance at the hotel where we’re staying.”

Cub’s eyes lit up and he hugged Shen Zichen. “Mr. Shen! You’re so nice!”

Shen Zichen smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Next time, don’t put on a tragic little performance. If you want something or want to do something, just say it. Daddy won’t refuse you for no reason.”

“Okay!” Cub called sweetly, placing his soft fingers at his temple and giving Shen Zichen a salute.

—

Just as Bai Chumin had predicted, that very night You Zhi received an invitation from the production team asking him to serve as a coach. Together with Bai Chumin and one other coach, he would lead three teams.

The teams would consist of well-known professional players in the scene as well as currently popular entertainment celebrities.

Of course celebrities had to participate. Otherwise, what would be the point of making a variety show? If the celebrity effect was handled well, it could also raise the profiles of esports players. Pretty good.

“I can go,” You Zhi replied that same night. “But you can’t control whether I swear, and you can’t give me a bunch of random ridiculous requirements.”

Production team: “You can swear however you want. Our whole selling point is authenticity.”

In the end, You Zhi agreed to record the show. On one hand, he wanted to play with professional players. On the other, he also wanted to straighten out this group of pros. He had watched plenty of competition footage before, and some of the things those players did were so awful he could barely look at them.

When You Zhi submitted his information form to the production team—

The production team froze. “Brother Zhi, you’re an O?”

By now, You Zhi had nothing to avoid about secondary sex. So what? Even as an O, he could still beat an A with one hand.

“What? Sex discrimination?” You Zhi said.

Production team: “No, no. It’s just that most of the people participating this time are A or B. I assumed you were too…”

“Most of them are A or B?” You Zhi sucked in a breath.

Production team internally: He isn’t going to back out, right? He isn’t going to back out, right?!

You Zhi internally: Then how the hell is he supposed to flirt with sweet little Os?!

“There are still some Os. If you, um, mind…” the production team said pitifully.

You Zhi’s tone was flat. “I don’t mind.”

So what if they were A or B? If they could not beat him, they were trash.

—

“Brother Shen, these are some recent variety-show invitations.” Zhao Rui came in carrying documents.

Shen Zichen planned to take a variety show over the next few months. Variety shows had loose schedules, which would also make it convenient to bring Cub along to play.

Cub was riding a balance bike, circling back and forth and constantly falling. Every time, without even lifting his head, Shen Zichen managed to scoop him back up and set him upright again.

Shen Zichen flipped through the materials while keeping his other hand near Cub. “These are all projects that cooperate with the company?”

“Yes,” Zhao Rui said. “I looked through them roughly. There’s an escape-room variety show that seems pretty good.”

Shen Zichen shook his head. “That one won’t work. The filming time is too long. I wouldn’t be able to stay with Cub.”

“There’s also an everyday travel program that looks good,” Zhao Rui said.

Shen Zichen casually flipped through several pages.

Cub jumped off his balance bike, walked over, hugged Shen Zichen’s leg, and reached for the file in his hand. “Mr. Shen! I want to look too!”

Shen Zichen lifted him onto the sofa and looked through it with him.

Cub’s little hands shuffled through the pages, accidentally knocking one loose.

It was a picture of esports players training at computers.

“Daddy!” Cub held up the picture. “So cool!”

Shen Zichen glanced at it, then took the file from Cub’s hand. It was an invitation from an esports variety show.

Entertainment celebrities and esports players would cooperate for two months of intensive training and four live public matches.

“I originally passed on this one,” Zhao Rui said. “It’s an esports variety show. The celebrities are mostly there to add popularity. The real focus is the esports players.”

Shen Zichen looked through the terms. The program had few restrictions, probably because it was being produced with people outside the entertainment industry. Compared with the others, it was relatively free and relaxed.

The chosen location was also a professional team base, with a good environment and recreational facilities.

“Daddy! Want to go!” Cub hugged his toy keyboard. “Want to type on keyboard! Want to watch Daddy type on keyboard!”

“Cub, do you really want to go?” Shen Zichen crouched down and asked him.

Cub nodded. “Want to go, want to go! Cub likes it!”

“You don’t mind staying there for a whole month?” Shen Zichen asked.

Cub blinked. “If I get to stay with Daddy for a month, of course Cub doesn’t mind.”

Shen Zichen smiled.

The moment Zhao Rui saw that scene, he knew the decision was already half made. He took out his phone and went to contact the organizers.

The organizers probably never expected Shen Zichen to come. When they heard, they stumbled over their words. “T-Teacher Shen wants to participate?!”

“Yes,” Zhao Rui said outside the room. “But Teacher Shen wants to bring his child along to have fun too. I’m not sure whether the base—”

“That’s fine! I’ll prepare everything the child needs right now!” the organizer said excitedly. “I guarantee that during filming, no one will be allowed to leak any personal information about Mr. Shen’s child, including his appearance!”

Zhao Rui turned around.

He found Shen Zichen had come out too. Leaning against the doorway, Shen Zichen met Zhao Rui’s eyes and nodded.

“All right. You can prepare the contract,” Zhao Rui said.

After hanging up, Zhao Rui asked him, “Brother Shen, could anything go wrong? Bringing Cub onto a variety show?”

Shen Zichen shook his head. “It’s a small-budget show, so it’ll be easy for us to manage. Cub likes it, so let him have his way. I can also take a month off and spend more time with him.”

“But Brother Shen, can you even play games…?”

Shen Zichen raised a brow. “I’ll try.”