After that, Sheng Renxing became even busier. He barely ran into Xing Ye at all. Though that might also have had something to do with Xing Ye constantly skipping class. During that time, the dean called him and another boy in for a talk. The other boy was also entering the competition. His name was Wu Ren. After hearing the name, Sheng Renxing looked at him several times.
The boy pushed up his glasses. “My father is a scholar. My name has nothing to do with mooncakes.”
Sheng Renxing nodded, thinking, Got it, Mooncake.
The dean suggested that the two of them form a study group. If there was anything they didn’t understand, they could discuss it with each other, and they were free to make use of any mathematics teacher in the school.
And so the two of them acquired an additional “evening study session.” Mooncake had qualified through the September competition and had originally been the school’s sole seedling, enjoying all the teachers’ undivided affection. Then Sheng Renxing had appeared halfway through.
At their very first “study group,” Mooncake told him that if he encountered something he didn’t know, he should look it up first. If he couldn’t find the answer, ask a teacher. If the teacher didn’t know either, only then should he come to Mooncake.
Sheng Renxing looked at him and laughed. They called it a study group, but really it was just the two of them doing mathematics problems during evening self-study in the library. Teachers who happened to be free would come by to check on them. It was obvious that the school attached enormous importance to this competition.
They sat opposite each other. Mooncake took out a set of problems. The cover looked familiar; Sheng Renxing had done it before. It was from two years ago. Not many people used this problem bank. It was comprehensive, but not particularly refined. The competition problems people around Sheng Renxing used to work on had all been specially compiled for them by hired instructors.
But Sheng Renxing didn’t say anything. He opened his own mathematics booklet.
Volume Three already. Across from him, Mooncake glanced at his booklet and seemed to pause. Problems like these consumed time. Sometimes one problem could take an hour. Everyone had little habits when they were thinking. Sheng Renxing liked to spin his pen. And once he became focused, he stopped noticing most outside disturbances, completely immersing himself in the problem in front of him.
Except for leg bouncing. Sheng Renxing watched the eraser crumbs on his desk tremble up and down as though there were an earthquake. He raised his head and looked at Mooncake sitting opposite him, bouncing his leg so relentlessly he was practically producing an a cappella rhythm, then tapped the table. Mooncake frowned and looked up blankly.
“Stop shaking your leg,” Sheng Renxing said.
A while later, the eraser crumbs began trembling again. Sheng Renxing raised his head once more, tapped the tip of his pen on the table, and stared expressionlessly at Mooncake. Mooncake looked back at him and stopped. Another while passed. The eraser crumbs started dancing.
Sheng Renxing drew in a breath and swept his gaze around, calculating whether hitting him with the water bottle would do less damage or the pencil case. As he was considering it, his phone vibrated. The lit screen showed a message in the app marked with two blank squares.
18: [?]
“?” Sheng Renxing picked up his phone.
Above that question mark was a message Xing Ye had sent him that afternoon.
He still hadn’t replied.
Sheng Renxing set down his pen, leaned back in his chair, and held the phone in one hand. Scrolling farther up revealed the messages the two of them had exchanged over the past two weeks. Two swipes took him all the way to the top. There was a gap of time between every message. Sheng Renxing stared at the screen and slowly exhaled.
X: [Working on problems. Didn’t notice.]
18: [Library?]
X: [?]
Sheng Renxing instinctively looked up and swept his gaze around. All he could see was Mooncake frowning at him. Apparently Mooncake hadn’t expected him to suddenly look up and immediately withdrew his gaze.
No one else was there. His phone vibrated again.
18: [Image]
It was a photo of him doing homework in the library.
18: [From the school forum. Someone secretly took it.]
X: [Can’t help being too handsome.]
Sheng Renxing frowned.
18: [How late are you staying?]
He paused and twirled the phone once in his hand.
X: [Don’t know. Depends when I finish.]
18: [Mm.]
Sheng Renxing clicked his tongue. Mm, my ass. Another message came through almost immediately.
18: [/hug]
“Tsk.” Sheng Renxing tossed the phone onto the table and stared at it. The sticker looked like nothing more than a little green person waving. If it hadn’t been labeled as a hug, people normally used it for all kinds of other meanings. He figured Xing Ye probably meant “good luck.”
After staring for a while, Sheng Renxing turned off the screen and didn’t reply.
The next day, the dean hauled him in for a talk.
“He said I was distracting him?” Sheng Renxing stood in front of the desk with his hands in his pockets, looking genuinely surprised.
Director Li smiled and tried to smooth things over. “It’s only three hours. Bear with not using it for a little while. It’ll be over quickly.”
“No.” Sheng Renxing raised a brow. They wanted to confiscate his phone for those three hours. “How about this: tell him to saw his leg off, and then I’ll hand over my phone.”
“…” Director Li frowned.
Since Sheng Renxing refused to budge even an inch, the final compromise was that he had to turn off vibration on his phone while studying, and the school would move their desks farther apart. When he left the office, he ran straight into Xing Ye. Both of them paused.
“What are you doing here?” Sheng Renxing spoke first.
Then he thought Xing Ye looked a tiny bit thinner. Immediately afterward, he decided he was being an idiot. It had only been a few days; how could he possibly tell whether Xing Ye had lost weight? He was hallucinating.
They stood in the corridor. Xing Ye shifted to one side. “Got called in. Skipped class.”
Sheng Renxing laughed. “How many classes have you skipped these past few days?”
Xing Ye shook his head. “Don’t remember.”
Then he asked, “What are you doing here?”
Sheng Renxing curled his lip. “Some idiot complained about me.” This was the first time anyone had ever filed this kind of complaint against him. It was novel and absurd at the same time. “Because I used my phone last night and apparently disturbed his eyes.”
Xing Ye’s brows shifted, as though he had frowned. “The guy in that photo?”
Sheng Renxing nodded. “Why?”
“So you can’t use your phone at night now?” Xing Ye asked.
Sheng Renxing shrugged. “They originally wanted to confiscate it.”
Xing Ye nodded. For a moment, neither of them had anything to say. The last time they had stood around chatting like this had been two weeks ago.
The atmosphere made Sheng Renxing uncomfortable. “I’m heading back.”
At the exact same time, Xing Ye said, “Are you free after school?”
“Huh?” Sheng Renxing looked at him and nearly agreed on the spot.
He was still searching for an excuse when Xing Ye said, “Won’t take up much of your time. I’ll give you that roly-poly thing from last time.”
Sheng Renxing stared at him in surprise. “You already finished it?” That fast?
Then he added, “And stop calling it a roly-poly. It doesn’t deserve the name.”
Xing Ye nodded.
Sheng Renxing was both delighted and surprised. “Sure! I’ll see you tonight.” He thought for a moment. “Want to eat together too?”
A trace of a smile appeared on Xing Ye’s lips. “I’ll come find you after school.”
After classes ended, Sheng Renxing sat at his desk working on problems while he waited for Xing Ye.
By the time he finished one problem, even the students on cleaning duty had left, and the school that had been clamorous all day had fallen quiet.
He shook out his wrist, set down his pen, and rubbed his neck. When he looked up, Xing Ye sitting beside him startled him. “When did you get here?” Sheng Renxing stared wide-eyed. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Xing Ye tilted his head and looked at him. “An hour ago.” Then he added, “Scared you.”
“You scared me into a triple jump.” Sheng Renxing obligingly played along as he opened his phone, only to discover it hadn’t even been an hour since school ended.
He curled his lip and held up the time for Xing Ye to see. Xing Ye looked at him and smiled silently. Sheng Renxing blinked. Xing Ye was so close that he could see his eyelashes clearly—thick and long. He edged back toward the wall, wondering why the two desks had never seemed this cramped when Captain sat here.
He looked away and packed his workbook into his schoolbag. “Didn’t you say you were giving me the… roly-poly?”
If he wasn’t allowed to call it a roly-poly, he had no idea what else to call it.
Xing Ye gave a soft “mm,” bent down, and took something out of his bag.
Sheng Renxing stuffed Captain’s things into the desk too and stared at Xing Ye curiously, joking as he did, “It hasn’t even been that long. You finished way too fast. This is a ten-thousand-yuan job. Don’t tell me you half-assed—”
His voice stopped when Xing Ye set the object on the desk.
He didn’t know whether it was because it had passed through Xing Ye’s hands, but Sheng Renxing thought the thing looked more than twice as beautiful as it had the first time he saw it.
Every place that had fallen apart had been reassembled. For some of the glass tubes that had shattered, Xing Ye had substituted wire. Layer upon layer of wire threaded through the original structure without looking chaotic. Instead, it gave the object a raw, almost primitive beauty. Among the wires were small irregular round stones replacing the original glass beads.
Xing Ye touched it lightly. The metal rods moved, and the stones traveled through the layers of wire without a single one striking another. Some passed within less than a millimeter of each other. As the stones swung from one side to the other, they exposed the stone fixed at the very center, holding all the moving joints together.
Except it didn’t quite look like a stone. It looked like a gem, blue-gray throughout, streaked with patterns like clouds.
Like the Earth.
Sheng Renxing stared at it for a long time. Xing Ye didn’t say anything either.
At last Sheng Renxing let out a breath and looked at him. “You made this? It’s fucking gorgeous!”
It looked like a work of art.
Xing Ye only lifted the corner of his mouth. His expression otherwise didn’t change much, as though he thought Sheng Renxing was simply being polite.
Sheng Renxing said it again. “It’s seriously beautiful! How did you make it?”
He was a little excited. “Can I touch it?”
Xing Ye nodded. “Don’t use too much force.”
Sheng Renxing cautiously leaned closer and touched the wire. It swayed, and the stones swayed with it.
“You really didn’t have to make it this good.” Sheng Renxing’s gaze traced every wire in detail. This had to have taken an enormous amount of work. “You could’ve just thrown something together.”
His uncle wouldn’t truly make him pay for it. And even if he did, Sheng Renxing had the money. Besides, Xing Ye hadn’t been the one who broke the thing in the first place.
Xing Ye didn’t answer.
“Huh?” Sheng Renxing stared at the stones and paused. “These are…?”
The little stones didn’t look bought. Their surfaces still had a roughness that had only been partly polished smooth.
“I couldn’t find anywhere selling the original beads.” Xing Ye reached out and touched one of the stones too. It spun around. “When we went hiking last time, I saw these stones and thought the patterns looked nice.”
His fingers were close to Sheng Renxing’s. Sheng Renxing could see tiny cuts on them.
“They’re not worth much, though,” Xing Ye continued.
Sheng Renxing’s heart clenched. He turned to look at him.
Xing Ye had lowered his eyes and was frowning slightly. “And some of my tools were locked inside the house.”
Sheng Renxing sucked in a hard breath and shook his head. “It’s already more than good enough!”
Xing Ye looked at him. Sheng Renxing stared directly into his eyes. “After what you’ve done to it, if my uncle wants it back, he’ll have to pay me a hundred thousand.”
Xing Ye smiled, apparently not taking that seriously.
Sheng Renxing added, “But even if he paid, I wouldn’t give it back.” He raised a hand and tapped the stones on it. “It’s mine now.”
Xing Ye said nothing. He reached up and pinched a lock of Sheng Renxing’s hair.
Sheng Renxing bit the inside of his cheek and flicked one of the metal rods with his finger. “Have you been working on this the whole time lately?”
“Mm.” Xing Ye leaned back in the chair and narrowed his eyes comfortably.
“Why didn’t you ask me to come along?” Sheng Renxing frowned, then immediately thought of the way he himself had been acting lately.
The next second, Xing Ye answered, “Haven’t you been busy?”
Sheng Renxing paused and turned to look at him. He had the distinct feeling Xing Ye had noticed that Sheng Renxing was deliberately avoiding him.
Of course he had. Only an idiot wouldn’t notice.
And thinking back on his own behavior over the past several days, Sheng Renxing suddenly felt like he was the idiot.
Xing Ye met his gaze without dodging. His expression was as calm and sparse as usual. “Do you like it?”
Sheng Renxing nodded hard. “I love it!”
Xing Ye smiled then. The curve of his lips was only slight; the real smile was all in his eyes. “I’ll make you another one later.”
Delighted, Sheng Renxing’s eyes curved and his white teeth showed. He straightened up and half leaned against the wall behind him. Xing Ye’s hand slipped from his hair to the back of his neck.
“Then I want an earring.” Sheng Renxing touched his ear. “Use this kind of stone again. I’ll go pick them up with you.”
At that, Xing Ye touched the snake-patterned earring he was wearing now, his fingertip brushing over Sheng Renxing’s ear.
Sheng Renxing’s ears were sensitive. He tilted his head away. Xing Ye’s fingers followed him, apparently trying to remove the earring.
So he stopped moving. “Hey, be careful.” He couldn’t resist adding, “We can go when everyone hikes. I’ve never been to Jingting Mountain.”
Xing Ye couldn’t get the earring off with one hand. Seeing Sheng Renxing stay still, he brought up his right hand too and removed it. “Aren’t you busy?”
Sheng Renxing tilted his head to make it easier for him and said with a trace of guilt, “I was only really busy for a while. It’ll be better later.”
“No need to force yourself. I can go by myself.” Xing Ye had never handled an earring before, so his movements were a little slow.
Sheng Renxing realized Xing Ye was deliberately teasing him and clicked his tongue. He decided to lay it out plainly. “All right, enough.” He had no idea how to explain his behavior from before, so he simply said, “I won’t do it again.”
The promise sounded awkward even to him.
Before he could find a way to patch it up, Xing Ye’s voice sounded beside his ear. “I thought you lied to me that night.”
Sheng Renxing whipped his head around and yanked painfully at his own ear. He hissed, but immediately forgot the pain. Lied to you about what?
Xing Ye met his gaze. “You do mind.”
“Fuck.” Sheng Renxing frowned. “I don’t mind! I just…” His voice died there.
What was he supposed to say? I was worried I was falling for you, so I wanted to stay away from you for a while and calm down? He would rather be killed than say that out loud.
He fell silent. Xing Ye didn’t speak either. He simply watched him, as though determined to get an explanation.
Sheng Renxing almost wanted to sigh to the heavens. “It has nothing to do with you. I’m just awkward about things.” He knitted his brows, racked his brain, and finally gave up on himself. “I’m gay. Gay people are just awkward.”
Xing Ye paused, then laughed. The earring dropped into his palm. He withdrew his hand and rubbed Sheng Renxing’s head with the other. “You’re my friend.” Gay or not, it didn’t matter.
Sheng Renxing tugged at the corner of his mouth. He wasn’t comforted at all.
He thought, Sure. Assuming I’m not interested in you.
He slapped Xing Ye’s hand away and said perfunctorily, “I’m your dad.”
Xing Ye was still smiling.
“You’re that happy to get yourself a dad?”
Xing Ye shook his head. “I mean it.”
Sheng Renxing stared at him for a long moment. Then he suddenly leaned closer, bracing one hand on the back of Xing Ye’s chair as though he were about to kiss him.
Xing Ye instinctively leaned back at first. But when he saw the I knew you minded expression on Sheng Renxing’s face, he stopped moving and let Sheng Renxing come closer.
For a long moment. Their faces were directly opposite each other, the tips of their noses almost touching. Xing Ye showed no reaction.
Sheng Renxing thought about it, then lifted a hand and ran it over Xing Ye’s body, from his chest all the way down to his waist.
“Fuck.” Xing Ye jerked backward.
Sheng Renxing straightened and shrugged, holding back his laughter. “You mind.”
Xing Ye looked at him, then suddenly reached out and ran a hand over Sheng Renxing’s body in exactly the same way. He copied Sheng Renxing’s shrug. “Don’t mind.”
Sheng Renxing froze at first. Half a second later, he nearly jumped out of his skin.
By reflex, he bent one knee up onto the chair, wrapped both arms around it, and pressed himself against the wall behind him. He glared at Xing Ye for a long time, ears burning red. “You fucking pervert.”
Notes
Mooncake: The student’s name sounds like the name of a traditional five-kernel mooncake filling. He insists that his scholarly father chose the name for another reason.
Evening self-study: Chinese secondary schools often schedule supervised evening study periods.
