For the first instant, both of them froze.
In less than a second, Sheng Renxing witnessed just how fast Xing Ye’s reflexes were.
First Xing Ye shoved Sheng Renxing backward. Then he turned sideways to meet the attack. In the darkness, moving faster than Sheng Renxing could process, Xing Ye snatched the knife from the person’s hand, hooked his foot, and drove an elbow hard into him.
The man staggered backward and fell as though he had lost control of his own body, every movement dictated by Xing Ye. A chaotic clatter rang out. Sheng Renxing recognized the sound of glass bottles colliding. Smelling alcohol thick in the air, he stepped toward Xing Ye first, trying to see whether the hand Xing Ye had used to grab the knife was hurt.
Xing Ye did not move. He stood there staring fixedly at the man, the veins standing out on the back of the hand gripping the knife. His entire body was taut. Something about him was far from normal. Sheng Renxing took out his phone, switched on the flashlight, turned it to maximum brightness, and aimed it over.
The man was sitting against the base of the wall. Broken and scattered bottles surrounded him. There was blood on his hand, probably from cutting it when he fell. His clothes were ragged, though it was hard to tell whether they were torn or merely filthy. Stains covered them. He ignored his wound and stared viciously at Xing Ye with bloodshot eyes.
The strong light from Sheng Renxing’s phone made him turn his head away. With that movement, Sheng Renxing realized the man was young.
Young enough to still be a student. Exactly how old, he could not tell.
For a moment no one spoke. The only sound was the man’s breathing, harsh as a bellows.
After a long while, he rasped, “Don’t recognize me anymore?” His voice sounded like two pieces of rough iron scraping together.
Xing Ye’s flat voice answered, “Zhang Qian.” There was no emotion in it whatsoever, as though he had merely read out an irrelevant name.
Zhang Qian reacted as though he had heard something worth boasting about. He laughed wildly several times. “Well? Surprised?”
Sheng Renxing thought he was extremely drunk. He stood to the side, watching the two people who clearly knew each other, and did not speak. He kept the flashlight on. Who knew what a drunk might do?
“Mm.” Xing Ye gave the slightest nod. “What do you want?”
Zhang Qian’s intense emotions got no reaction from him at all. He turned his head and spat, then laughed as though he had heard something hilarious. “Heh. What could I want? I just came to see whether you were dead!”
The vicious words came from his mouth as casually as ordinary conversation. Xing Ye did not even move an eyebrow.
Zhang Qian’s attention had already shifted to Sheng Renxing.
Sheng Renxing met his gaze.
Squinting against the light, Zhang Qian tried to make out Sheng Renxing’s shape. “Who’s that? Your friend?” His tone suddenly sounded almost like that of an old acquaintance.
He tilted his head. “A friend like my brother?”
Xing Ye finally spoke. “He’s not the same as your brother.”
Then he turned to Sheng Renxing. Before he could say anything, Sheng Renxing already knew what was coming.
Sure enough, Xing Ye said, “Go wait outside for me.”
His expression was calm and his attitude indifferent. But Sheng Renxing could feel something being crushed down inside him, something already near the breaking point.
And before Xing Ye even finished, Zhang Qian spoke a beat behind him. “How is he different? Different because you’re not going to kill him too?”
The words crashed beside Sheng Renxing’s ears. He fought to keep his expression under control and nodded at Xing Ye, who had been watching him closely. “I’ll wait where we sat last time.”
As though he had not heard Zhang Qian, he turned and walked away.
Behind him, Zhang Qian’s voice boomed like a bell, hoarse and explosive in the silent night. “What’s wrong? Don’t dare let him hear? Aren’t you supposed to have a clear conscience? Didn’t you say my brother’s ruined family had nothing to do with you?!”
A thousand thoughts flashed through Sheng Renxing’s mind, but he did not look back.
He knew Xing Ye was watching his back, making sure he truly left. Only after Sheng Renxing disappeared around the corner did Xing Ye slowly turn back toward Zhang Qian on the ground.
“Your brother died. What does that have to do with me?” His expression remained calm, like a dark current beneath floating ice.
Zhang Qian’s nostrils flared. His alcohol-drowned eyes spilled hatred.
But before he could speak—or rather, Xing Ye simply did not care and did not want to hear it—
“He knew I was his opponent. He signed the contract too. He lost because he wasn’t good enough.”
Xing Ye raised the hand holding the knife. His voice was quiet, but each word landed heavily. “There was no other reason.”
He threw the knife. Its point skimmed past the gaps where two of Zhang Qian’s fingers were missing and buried itself straight into the dirt.
“That trick doesn’t work on me,” Xing Ye said. “You won’t get anything from me.”
At last, a trace of fear surfaced through Zhang Qian’s alcohol-clouded brain. He stared at Xing Ye, hatred gradually shifting into pleading. “I know it wasn’t your—”
Xing Ye suddenly snatched up a stone and smashed it into the wall beside Zhang Qian’s head.
Bang! The huge sound cut his sentence off.
Xing Ye’s eyes seemed to hold the lightless night sky itself. He forced out one word:
“Fuck off.”
Zhang Qian did not dare utter another syllable. He turned and ran. There were too many alleys. Sheng Renxing never managed to find the place where Xing Ye had sat last time, so he simply chose somewhere to squat. He kept his flashlight on so Xing Ye could find him. He stared at his phone screen, opening app after app and closing them again.
In his head, he broke apart and reassembled every word Zhang Qian had said, analyzing them over and over.
What relationship had Zhang Qian’s brother had with Xing Ye? What did he mean by killed by him? What did a ruined family have to do with it?
Questions bubbled through his mind like soda. He had no idea how long he thought—or perhaps simply sat there blankly. Only then did he notice someone approaching from the corner of his vision.
Sheng Renxing moved the flashlight toward him. Xing Ye’s figure appeared in the beam. “He left?”
Xing Ye came over and sat beside him. “Mm.”
“Oh.”
Silence settled between them for a moment.
Sheng Renxing asked, “Want some candy?”
At the same time, Xing Ye said, “What do you want to ask?”
Both paused.
“I don’t want to ask anything,” Sheng Renxing answered.
At the same time, Xing Ye asked, “What candy?”
“…” Sheng Renxing could not help laughing. He pulled candy from his pocket and handed one over. “Eclairs.”
Xing Ye took it, tore open the wrapper, and put it in his mouth. Thick, sweet chocolate flavor spread over his tongue.
“You bought this?” he asked.
“Someone gave it to me.” Sheng Renxing pulled out another for himself.
The two sat in the alley, quietly eating candy.
After a while, Xing Ye asked, “Any more?”
Sheng Renxing patted his pocket. “Nope.”
He asked Xing Ye, “Which tastes better, this or the lollipop from this morning?”
Xing Ye answered honestly, “Neither.”
“Then why are you asking me for more?” Sheng Renxing pulled his hand out of his pocket.
Xing Ye smiled faintly too. “Fine. It tastes good. Any more?”
“Even if it tasted unbelievably good, there still aren’t any.” Sheng Renxing stood. “Let’s not sit here. I can smell that trash can and it’s making me want to throw up.”
He lit up his phone. “Where are you sleeping tonight?” He glanced sideways at Xing Ye. “You didn’t even get your clothes.”
Finally, he said, “Sleep at my place? I can barely force myself to take you in for one more night.”
Xing Ye stood too. “Wouldn’t that be too much of a hardship?”
“Barely manageable,” Sheng Renxing said solemnly.
And so Xing Ye followed him home. Once again, neither of them called a taxi. They walked. Xuancheng was not especially developed. But in a place like Yanjiang Street, lights were gradually flickering on, preparations beginning for the nightlife.
They walked side by side.
Neon light fell over Xing Ye’s face, coating him in strange, shifting color.
Sheng Renxing cleared his throat. “Just now…”
Xing Ye looked at him. “Thought you didn’t have any questions.”
“Back then, even if I asked, you might not have answered.” Sheng Renxing glanced at him.
“You’re sure I’ll answer now?” Xing Ye played with the candy wrapper inside his pocket.
“Of course.” Sheng Renxing raised his brows. “I’m your landlord now. Don’t answer and you’ll be sleeping on the street.”
“Fuck.” Xing Ye froze, then cursed with a laugh.
That made Sheng Renxing turn to look at him.
“What?”
“Nothing. First time I’ve heard you swear. Novel.” Sheng Renxing shrugged.
Xing Ye did not answer. They walked another stretch.
When they reached the intersection, he suddenly said, “That guy’s older brother used to be my friend.”
“Oh.” Sheng Renxing had not expected him to actually explain. For a moment he did not know what to ask. After thinking, he said, “And now?”
“He’s dead.” Xing Ye kept his hands in his pockets, folding the candy wrapper into a tiny square. “Suicide.”
“Ah.” Sheng Renxing paused. “Then why did that guy say it was you?” He could not bring himself to say the exact word.
Xing Ye paused again, not because he was deciding whether to speak, but because he was organizing the explanation.
“His family had trouble and needed money. He decided to fight in the ring. His opponent was me. I won, he lost, then he killed himself.”
“Ah.” Sheng Renxing’s first thought after hearing it escaped immediately. “Your essay scores probably aren’t very high, are they?”
Xing Ye glanced at him. “Then stop asking.”
“Hey.” Sheng Renxing smiled. “Then why did that guy come looking for you? To avenge his brother?”
Unexpectedly, Xing Ye shook his head. His expression was almost mocking. “No.”
“?”
“He came to ask me for money.” Xing Ye remembered Zhang Qian’s hand, missing two fingers. “He owes gambling debts and can’t pay. He wanted to squeeze some money out of me.”
Seeing the obvious surprise on Sheng Renxing’s face, Xing Ye gave a laugh with no amusement in it. “Dead people aren’t as important as money.”
“…” Sheng Renxing said, “He sounded so righteous and furious. That was all for money?”
Xing Ye merely looked at him and nodded. “Money is enough.”
Were there so few people who lived for money and died for money? Of course money was enough.
“That’s not what I meant.” Sheng Renxing realized he had phrased it badly and frowned.
“I know.” Xing Ye nodded.
He looked at Sheng Renxing standing beneath the bright streetlights and thought for a moment before asking quietly, “Last time, weren’t you curious what the underground is really like?”
Sheng Renxing looked at him.
Xing Ye said, “Someone like him counts as a good person down there.”
Sheng Renxing said nothing. He only watched him. The traffic light at the intersection changed from red to green and back to red again.
Sheng Renxing asked, “Then what about you?”
Xing Ye looked at the traffic light and did not answer.
After a while, he asked, “Nothing else you want to know?”
“Huh?” Sheng Renxing thought. “Then back then, why did you beat his brother?”
Because he was stronger. Because he was less afraid of dying. Because the other boy had not dared strike hard enough…
In the end, Xing Ye said, “Because I owed gambling debts too.”
Sheng Renxing looked at him and tried very hard to control his expression. “You gamble?”
Xing Ye shook his head. Disgust appeared on his face. “My dad owed them.”
“Oh.” Sheng Renxing nodded. His expression went a little blank. He felt as though his brain had not quite caught up.
Xing Ye watched him, smiled as though amused, and reached out to rub his hair. When Zhang Qian had appeared earlier, and Xing Ye realized what the man wanted, he had not felt angry or sad. He had only panicked a little. Because Sheng Renxing was beside him.
He did not want Sheng Renxing getting stained by these things, and he had no idea what kind of eyes Sheng Renxing would look at him with once he knew. But when Sheng Renxing asked, Xing Ye had simply told him. Without hiding anything. Without regret. If anything, he felt almost relieved. Even though he had never told Yellow Hair and the others about these things.
Even though he had only known Sheng Renxing for a very short time.
“I’m gay.”
Suddenly, Sheng Renxing lifted his head and said it.
Xing Ye froze. He did not immediately process the words. For one instant his expression went blank.
Sheng Renxing looked straight at him. “Aren’t we exchanging secrets?” He shrugged. “That’s mine.”
Then, imitating Xing Ye’s earlier tone, he asked, “Anything else you want to know?”
Xing Ye opened his mouth, unusually at a loss. In his eyes, the clouds slowly scattered and the moon rose.
Sheng Renxing waited for his reaction. After a long while with Xing Ye still silent, he tilted his head. “Do you mind?”
“Mind what?” Xing Ye asked.
“That I’m gay.”
“I don’t mind.” Xing Ye shook his head. His tone was certain.
Sheng Renxing nodded. “Oh. Then I don’t mind either.”
His tone was neither particularly light nor heavy. It was merely two friends exchanging a small secret. No judgment. And limited to the two of them. Xing Ye stopped walking and turned. Then he reached out and hugged Sheng Renxing. The wide road was empty now, without another person in sight.
Sheng Renxing lifted his arms and hugged him back. Only the moon saw.
