It was not only the child who had failed to expect this. The livestream viewers had not imagined that Tang Can, who had spent all evening promising to read a bedtime story on camera, would fall asleep live and practically instantly.
While the child bathed, the viewers who remained in the livestream watching Tang Can cut clothing tags were, even if they were not fans of Tang Can’s face, at least casual viewers who had developed some goodwill toward him.
So when many viewers saw how neat and fluid his hands were, their impression of him shifted a little more and new expectations appeared—perhaps Tang Can merely looked unreliable, while in reality he truly was a dependable, good father?
That thought had barely appeared before Tang Can once again made everyone laugh and cry with his astonishing instant-sleep speed.
【So THIS is how you put a child to sleep, huh, you brat??】
【Youth really is wonderful. Head hits pillow, instantly asleep! [dog head]】
【I don’t even know what to say. I actually believed he would properly tell the story. I’m such an idiot…】
【Deng-baby is amazing. At three years old, he already knows how to put Daddy to sleep. [laughing through tears]】
When the child on camera realized his father was asleep, his previously wooden face instantly produced enough expressions for an entire reaction-sticker pack. With disbelief written all over him, he repeatedly checked the picture book and his biological father’s sleeping face. Only at the end did he purse his mouth with indescribable speechlessness, turning all his emotion into an invisible sigh.
But human joys and sorrows are never shared. The more shocked and speechless the child became, the harder the online aunties, uncles, and grandparents laughed. For a while, every comment mocking Tang Can was replaced by a full screen of hahahahaha.
When the child crawled out from under the covers, quietly put away the book and turned off the light, then returned and remembered to tuck in his useless old father, the comments were rapidly flooded with envious whining.
【OH MY GOD! Baby! My baby, why are you this well behaved? QAQ Auntie’s heart has melted!】
【The old saying really is right: lazy parents make diligent children. Tang Can is useless, so his kid became all-capable. [lemon][lemon][lemon]】
【Confirmed. Other parenting shows are parents raising kids. Tang Can’s family is reverse childcare: kid raises dad. [thumbs-up]】
【Thank you, baby Dengdeng, for providing a brand-new viewing experience. Also, can I ask whether the government distributes well-behaved children of this model nationally? [smile]】
【The person above is too funny. A few years ago people asked the government to distribute good husbands. Now the script skips a step and asks the government to directly issue obedient children?】
【Dengdeng!! My biological internet child! I will never give up on getting custody of this baby!】
Meanwhile, Tang Yichen’s family had also finished dinner and returned in an extended Rolls-Royce Ghost to their villa in the city’s premier wealthy district.
The comments remained a uniform wall of extravagant praise: Tang Yichen was refined, elegant, and a winner in life; Gu Beisheng already carried the bearing of someone born to stand above others despite his young age, truly worthy of being the golden grandson raised by the Gu family; President Gu was not only rich, but cultured, capable, and exceedingly gentlemanly. The family of three looked like the ultimate rich family that had stepped straight out of a novel…
Tang Yichen took advantage of changing clothes to escape the livestream cameras and skimmed through the comments. A calm, confident curve rose at the corner of his mouth.
Bringing his husband and stepson on camera in a high-profile way without blatantly flaunting wealth satisfied the public’s curiosity about the rich while also triggering people’s admiration of strength. It matched his fans’ innocent, almost stupid expectations of a fairy tale.
Born into an excellent wealthy family, they had not merely started life in Rome; they also possessed the elegance and nobility cultivated in an environment built from gold and jade, as well as beautiful moral qualities beyond the reach of exhausted ordinary people who spent their lives running after money.
He was confident that he had handled the tone of this livestream perfectly and equally confident he could further build himself and his husband’s family into the number-one household admired by the entire nation.
Yet Tang Yichen’s calm smile disappeared completely the instant he opened the trending list—
#Tang Can’s Reverse Childcare#
#Dengdeng, Divine Toddler#
#Lazy Parents Make Diligent Children#
#Bath-Towel Dengdeng, the Sweetest Glutinous-Rice Dumpling#
…
Parenting shows generally had decent ratings, but their audience base was relatively fixed. Unless one phenomenal guest exploded beyond the genre and drew new viewers in, the groups were simply splitting the same pie, competing directly as one rose and another fell.
The total audience was fixed. Tang Can’s unconventional approach had suddenly broken out and stolen more than half the traffic. The remaining small half still had to be shared with the other two families. Naturally, what was left for Tang Yichen looked pathetic.
He had to scroll far down the trending list before finally finding topics related to himself. There were three of them, but even added together, their popularity did not match the topics near the top.
He had expected his wealthy husband’s high-profile appearance to give him a spectacular moment in the spotlight. Instead, Tang Can’s livestream had overshadowed him. Not only could Tang Yichen no longer smile, his back teeth ground audibly.
Tang Yichen immediately called his manager, Cheng Ping. “Uncle Cheng, why didn’t you tell me anything about the latest trending topics?”
Cheng Ping was not only Tang Yichen’s manager but also the founder and chief executive of Chengxing Entertainment. Tang Yichen had effectively inherited him from Mother Tang. Even though Mother Tang had left the industry many years ago, Cheng Ping remained her closest male confidant. Otherwise, the president of an entertainment company would never still personally manage an artist.
Back when Mother Tang was active, Cheng Ping had played a major role in making her famous across mainland China, Hong Kong, and Taiwan. Even though he now devoted more energy to running the company, both his professional skill as a gold-medal manager and the network accumulated over many years remained among the very best in the industry.
It was precisely because of Cheng Ping’s long-term marketing operations that Tang Yichen had been able to transform from the Nation’s Son into the most glamorous male spouse of a ten-billion-yuan family. His ability to manipulate public opinion went without saying. Yet this time he had failed to satisfy Tang Yichen’s expectations.
Tang Yichen knew perfectly well that Tang Can could not possibly have exploded in popularity from the very beginning to a degree no human manipulation could suppress. The only explanation was that Cheng Ping had deliberately held back.
Sure enough, the middle-aged man on the other end hesitated, then gave a faint sigh. “Chenchen, Xiao Can is still your older brother in the end. The old matters involving the Tang family are one thing, but now I can see Xiao Can’s personality has changed a great deal. You two brothers…”
In Cheng Ping’s eyes, Tang Yichen was the child he had watched grow up, while Tang Can was that person’s own flesh and blood. He knew clearly that she had chosen the adopted son she had loved for many years, who was also outstanding in every respect, but for Cheng Ping, who valued emotional bonds deeply, both children mattered. He hoped both of them could live increasingly well.
Tang Yichen nearly vomited. What the hell was Tang Can that he deserved to be called his brother? If it were not for… Still, Tang Yichen said nothing more. After ending the call, he immediately phoned his mother instead.
Tomorrow they would officially appear on camera together. He absolutely could not let Cheng Ping continue dragging him down.
*
Early the next morning, Tang Can successfully woke on time to his alarm.
After the previous day’s failed attempt at waking early, Tang Can had gotten smarter and placed his phone somewhere beyond arm’s reach, forcing himself out of bed to turn it off.
Once he silenced the alarm, he stood up too quickly, became dizzy, and promptly collapsed back onto the bed. Even so, he remembered in time that they had a flight to catch for the program that day.
This involved more than a hundred thousand per episode in serious money! Tang Can thought about it even in his dreams. For the current Tang Can, the single most important thing was the long-term job paying one hundred thousand a month, and the second was this short-term side job paying more than a hundred thousand per episode.
The two supported each other. If he behaved properly on the parenting show and did not court death, he could not only collect payment for the entire season but also avoid crashing halfway through, getting thrown out of the wealthy family, and losing everything completely…
His not-yet-fully-awake brain had only turned halfway through that thought when Tang Can’s half-lidded peach-blossom eyes suddenly flew wide. The memory of instantly falling asleep the previous night shot into his head.
Tang Can knew popular picture books so well he could recite them with his eyes closed. He had planned to show off that skill. Instead, he closed his eyes, opened them again, and it was morning…
Tang Can covered his face and wailed silently. What was wrong with him now? How had the iron-willed corporate slave from his previous life become this fragile?
Thunder could not wake him, and touching a bed instantly put him to sleep. It was almost as though he had become a different person… No, not “almost.” He literally had become a different person.
Tang Can rummaged through the original host’s memories. Perhaps childhood was simply too far away and the original host’s memory was poor, but in the three or four recent years Tang Can could recall, the original host truly had been lazy.
Still, that alone was not enough to prove anything. A carefree life of receiving one hundred thousand for nothing every month could easily corrupt anyone into laziness. If Tang Can did not need to avoid the later disastrous plot, he might have become even lazier than the original host.
Maybe his previous life had also exhausted him so completely that after dying from overwork and being reborn, his body had formed an instinctive resistance?
The cause was uncertain, but the result was obvious. He could no longer beast-of-burden at all: he could not wake early, and closing his eyes made him fall asleep.
Tang Can was still analyzing himself when he saw the child sleeping at the edge of the bed push himself upright on short little arms.
Rubbing his eyes and giving a milky yawn, the child turned back toward him with a wildly messy bird’s-nest head.
Although Tang Can had gotten out of bed to silence the alarm this time, the child was not sure whether he was truly awake or whether this was the same as yesterday.
Then father and son’s gazes met across the room.
Tang Can burst out laughing. “Hahahahaha, Dengdeng, how did you turn into a little panda? Did you sleep badly last night?”
The child had only just booted up and was still in his default wooden-doll mode. Hearing Tang Can laugh at his dark circles, his full, round eyes instantly sharpened into blades—all because of this big bad guy!
He had spent more than half the night wondering why Carmela refused to lay an egg!
The less he could figure it out, the more curious he became. The more curious he became, the less he could sleep. The less he could sleep, the angrier he got. Trapped in that vicious cycle, little Huo Dengdeng had not finally exhausted himself into sleep until almost dawn.
Despite the ocean of resentment inside him, the child’s knife-like glare lasted only a moment before returning to the slightly blank expression of his wooden-doll mode.
After this long night, the child had come to a profound realization: Bad Daddy truly had changed. He had become even worse! Dengdeng had to be even more careful and make even greater efforts before he could expose Bad Daddy’s true face!
While he was thinking this, the smiling Tang Can picked him up and casually stroked the child’s soft, smooth back twice.
The child no longer resisted or feared him as intensely as at first, but Tang Can still did not dare squish him too aggressively all at once. He only stole a couple of quick rubs whenever he found an opening.
The feel was too good. Tang Can’s smile grew increasingly shameless, drawing a chorus of wolf howls from the livestream audience.
【AHHHHH I want to touch him too!!!】
【I only just realized Tang Can isn’t wearing any makeup? That’s completely bare-faced???】
【Inhaling him, inhaling him, I’m inhaling him violently—the cutest baby Dengdeng!】
Father and son’s breakfast was still Dengdeng-brand sandwiches, while Tang Can handled collecting clothes and packing luggage.
He packed all the dried new clothes into the suitcase, and none of the picture books, Ultraman toys, or little yellow duck they had bought over the last two days were left behind.
Because most of that day’s itinerary involved travel, Tang Can planned to dress the child in a cute costume onesie. Functionally it leaned more toward pajamas and loungewear, but human toddlers could absolutely wear it outside.
That way, even with strong air-conditioning on the plane, he would not have to worry about the child getting cold. More importantly, toddlers in costume onesies were simply too cute. They provided enormous benefits to an old father’s eyes and soul.
Tang Can had initially prepared a little dinosaur onesie, but after noticing the child’s dark circles, he immediately switched to the far more compatible little panda set.
The child: “…”
Making the dark-circled child dress like a panda would already have been enough, but Tang Can also kept taking photos with his phone. Throughout the journey he alternated between praising the child for looking so accurately panda-like and making creepy “hehehe” and villainous cackling noises. The child nearly failed to maintain wooden-doll mode.
When they finally reached the airport, the child could not wait to get out of the car. Unfortunately, he was still strapped into a five-point safety harness and had to wait for Tang Can to unfasten it.
Tang Can parked securely and rubbed his hands together with a grin while looking at the adorable panda child in the rearview mirror. “Dengdeng, don’t worry! Daddy is coming to rescue you!”
Unexpectedly, the moment Tang Can happily stepped out of the car, he came face-to-face with Tang Yichen, along with Tang Yichen’s wealthy husband and stepson.
The man held the child in his arms while the husbands gazed deeply into each other’s eyes. No explanation was needed; they were obviously performing a reluctant romantic farewell.
Tang Can had read the original plot and could not appreciate this pair’s so-called “fairy-tale love.” He had even less interest in acting out fake brotherly affection with Tang Yichen. He planned to circle around quickly before either side entered the other’s livestream frame.
But the moment Tang Can started turning toward the other side of the car to collect his child, Tang Yichen suddenly turned around as though he had eyes on the back of his head.
Tang Can inwardly cursed his bad luck. Tang Yichen’s expression had already transitioned smoothly from delighted surprise into a mixture of joy and concern, with a touch of fragile grievance. The moment he spoke, every syllable dripped with green-tea performance.
“Brother, it’s been so long. Have you been doing well lately?” He laid half a line of groundwork before rushing straight to the point. “…Where’s Dengdeng’s dad? Why didn’t he come see you two off?”
The dissatisfaction in his eyes over his older brother’s absent husband was practically solid enough to touch. Anyone watching would think he was a good younger brother genuinely concerned for and protective of his older sibling.
With the performance delivered right to his face, Tang Can could hardly pretend not to see it. “Last time I heard you talk like this was the last time. What’s wrong, you miss my husband again?”
