The disaster had happened too fast to prevent. Chi Qi could only frantically search his brain for a solution: how could he delete all the stupid things he'd done with a single click?
Shen Wanji removed her enormous sunglasses and asked with concern, "Did I frighten you?"
Their eyes met. Chi Qi guiltily looked away first and murmured weakly, "A little."
Shen Wanji tentatively stepped back. "Shall I go out, knock, and come in again?"
"That would be a bit much." Clinging to a shred of hope, Chi Qi asked in a shaky voice, "When did you get here?"
Shen Wanji answered truthfully. "Just now."
Phew. Then she probably hadn't seen his slightly lecherous expression.
He'd only just relaxed when she continued, "I opened the door and saw you holding Little Mu's hand and grinning happily."
So she'd seen it after all? Chi Qi lowered his head in shame, wishing the ground would swallow him. Next time, could she please finish the whole sentence at once? At least then he could die without prolonged agony.
Luckily, he hadn't voiced his thoughts. Otherwise, he'd already be fleeing overnight with a subway train slung over his shoulder.
"I'm so relieved!" Shen Wanji suddenly raised her voice.
The abrupt change startled Chi Qi. "Relieved about what?"
Seeing his confusion, Shen Wanji explained with a smile, "Little Mu never liked touching other people. He always looked disgusted with everyone. Such an annoying little brat. I used to get so fed up with him."
"Now he's lost the innocence of holding hands for the first time, along with that precious purity he's so proud of…" She left that thought unfinished, then abruptly changed tack. "But since it's you, he's an old cow getting to eat tender young grass. He wins either way. Lucky him!"
Every word struck Chi Qi like a bolt of lightning.
*His first time holding hands?!*
Had he… taken liberties with a virtuous man?
An accusing voice seemed to whisper in his ear: *You! Very, very bad!*
Chi Qi grew even more ashamed, deep self-reproach filling his eyes. He wanted to bow deeply to the man on the bed on the spot. *Heavens! My sins deserve death!*
Shen Wanji went on, "Little Mu was terribly innocent as a child. He even told me that if anybody saw his body, they'd have to take responsibility for him."
*Take responsibility.* The words struck Chi Qi with tremendous force. His eyes widened. If seeing the man's body meant taking responsibility, then surely squeezing and poking at Xie Mu's chest muscles earlier was an even graver offense?
He couldn't understand what had possessed him to reach out and touch. He wasn't usually that kind of person. Had he been listening to the song *Courage* on repeat too often?
He looked at his right hand, his gaze growing firm. Clearly, he couldn't let that offending limb remain. He raised his left hand, preparing to give himself a vicious slap.
Shen Wanji misunderstood and exclaimed, "No need to applaud! Oh, you child. You're far too sincere."
Sincere Chi Qi shook his head violently. *No, that's not it! Please stop adding new adjectives to describe me.*
Shen Wanji was enthusiastic. "Since you're so interested, why don't I tell you some more things about Little Mu?"
Shen Wanji began reminiscing. "Little Mu takes his virtue very seriously."
*Mm-hmm. That much I've already established.*
"Perhaps I read him too many fairy tales when he was young. He started imagining he was a prince living in a castle, or maybe a pure, spotless angel. He even believed his kisses were magical. As a little boy, he wouldn't let me kiss him."
Chi Qi's secondhand embarrassment returned with a vengeance. He looked at Xie Mu and couldn't quite stop his lips from twitching.
He certainly hadn't expected this aloof-looking man to have such an imaginative childhood. You really couldn't judge a book by its cover!
"And now, instead of kissing a sleeping princess awake, he's the one lying flat in bed." Shen Wanji's voice dropped, followed by a long sigh.
A faint, soft sensation seemed to linger on the tips of his fingers, a barely perceptible tingle he couldn't shake off. He rubbed his hands vigorously against his trousers.
With so many offenses piled up, his crimes seemed unforgivable. Chi Qi suspected that he'd wake in the middle of the night, bolt upright, and declare, "I'm such a terrible person!"
Shen Wanji turned back and noticed his strange expression. "Oh my! Qiqi, why do you look like you're seeing stars?"
*Please, I beg you. Just let me have some peace.*
Shen Wanji placed a hand against his forehead, comparing their temperatures. "Do you want to go home and rest? We can't have another patient on our hands."
Seeing no obvious signs of pain, Shen Wanji decided the problem couldn't be too serious and went back to watching videos on her phone.
After repeating the process of breathing in and out countless times, Chi Qi resembled a repaired robot trying to reboot.
Beep. Starting up—
Loading—
*So what if you touched Mr. Xie's muscles? He's unconscious. As long as you keep quiet, only Heaven and you will ever know. Relax.*
Loading progress: 30%.
*You're both men. Your bodies work the same way. It's no big deal.*
Loading progress: 60%.
Chi Qi kept consoling himself, desperately searching for believable excuses to mend the shattered pieces of his conscience.
Suddenly, Shen Wanji called, "Qiqi."
"Why don't you try kissing Little Mu? Maybe he'll open his eyes."
*Warning! Unknown object attack detected! Self-repair failed. System collapsing.*
"I'm just kidding!"
"Ha ha… ha ha… Very funny…"
For the rest of the visit, Chi Qi felt as though he were sitting on needles, walking on thin ice, and teetering over an abyss. He was practically a walking corpse, fighting the urge to flee the hospital room.
Shen Wanji regarded him anxiously. "Qiqi, you look even worse now." She thought for a moment before choosing a gentler description. "Like a zombie ate your brain."
"…"
*Your words merely scared the soul out of me, that's all. Nothing serious.*
*Not even slightly.*
"Are you hungry?" Shen Wanji put down her phone. "It's getting late. Let's go get something to eat."
"Okay." Chi Qi stood stiffly and followed behind her, moving his right arm with his right leg like a malfunctioning puppet. He couldn't bear to stay in that suffocating room for even one more second.
As they walked along the familiar pebbled path, Shen Wanji suddenly stopped, frowning toward something up ahead with an expression of unprecedented gravity.
*
On the hospital roof, one of Jian Qi's legs dangled in midair. He raised a hand to shade his eyes from the dazzling sunlight and looked indifferently at the man approaching.
His position was terribly dangerous. One careless movement and he could fall.
But Song Muchi paid no attention. He stepped forward twice, as though trying to intimidate him, and sneered. "Jian Qi, what nerve do you have showing your face here?"
"Because of you, A-Yao broke his leg and is still in bed. He couldn't even sit the college entrance exam. You're an ungrateful wretch. We'll never be able to change your vicious nature."
Jian Qi didn't defend himself. He merely cast Song Muchi a cool glance.
"Come here." Angered by that expression, Song Muchi grabbed him roughly. "You're going to A-Yao's hospital bed to kneel and apologize."
Jian Qi staggered under the pull. As he struggled, half his cheap shirt was torn away, revealing striking scars across his skin. "I'm not apologizing to him. Never."
"I don't have a vicious younger brother like you." Song Muchi raised his hand, then lowered it and clenched his fist, apparently at the limit of his restraint.
Jian Qi looked straight at him without dodging. "Have you forgotten that you were the ones who threw me out?"
Song Muchi's expression changed abruptly, as though someone had caught hold of his deepest vulnerability.
Jian Qi calmly stated the facts. "I severed every tie with the Song family two weeks ago. I have no brother and no parents."
An unfamiliar emotion stirred in Song Muchi's chest before anger swept it away. He said resentfully, "Excellent. Since you remember so clearly, I suppose you also remember that I told you never to appear in front of me again."
"Oh, of course I remember."
"But why?" Jian Qi asked. "Why should I have to avoid any of you?"
"Because you're heartless and ungrateful! You hurt innocent people to satisfy your selfish desires. Don't you ever feel guilty? Don't you wake at night feeling like you can't breathe?"
Jian Qi smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. His expression was mocking and disdainful. "Song Muchi. So you *do* know I can't sleep."
*You knew all along, and yet you still let…*
After a moment, Jian Qi composed himself and slowly straightened. It wasn't worth being hurt over the family affection he'd once hoped for.
Every word Song Muchi spoke merely proved what Jian Qi had understood long ago.
Once, he would have blamed himself whenever they rejected him. But now, their cruel words could no longer wound him.
"Song Muchi, listen carefully," Jian Qi said. "Song Ruoyao's failure to sit the college entrance exam was entirely his own choice. He brought it upon himself."
The young man's eyes were a pale shade, yet there was always a stubborn, unyielding defiance in his gaze. He was covered in thorns, and anyone who touched him risked being bloodied.
Song Muchi believed the Song family had treated Jian Qi generously. After finding him, they'd cared for him attentively. Whatever A-Yao received, Jian Qi had received too.
Besides, A-Yao's health was fragile. As his older brother, it was only natural for Song Muchi to worry about him more.
A-Yao had such a kind heart. He'd never shown resentment toward Jian Qi. He'd consistently tried to help Jian Qi settle into the family, even foolishly distancing himself from Song Muchi to do it.
Song Muchi closed his eyes and said coldly, "Eighteen years ago, thank heavens A-Yao was the one who stayed." He delivered his unilateral verdict. "Jian Qi, you're the one who wronged A-Yao."
Shen Wanji, who'd come running, happened to hear this. Instantly catching the scent of juicy gossip, her ears practically pricked up. She pressed Chi Qi's head against the wall with one hand, pinning him there.
"…"
Chi Qi twisted his head to find a more comfortable angle and craned his neck curiously. Once he saw the people's faces clearly, he paused.
*Huh? Jian Qi?*
What was he doing here?
Nobody answered Chi Qi's question. The argument continued, so he quieted his breathing and discreetly listened to the gossip… No, searched for the truth.
"I wronged Song Ruoyao?" Jian Qi knew the Song family was ugly inside, but he hadn't realized they could be so hypocritical.
"While Song Ruoyao was taking my place, living carefree as the family's young master, Yang Qi beat me black and blue. I had to work three jobs a day just to pay my school fees."
"Why don't you tell me Yang Qi was the one who wronged *me*?"
[Wait, Jian Qi is the Song family's real young master? Why hasn't there been the slightest rumor about it?]
"What does Yang Qi's wrongdoing have to do with A-Yao? Whatever injustices you suffered in the past, A-Yao is innocent. You have no right to take your anger out on him."
[That's such an ugly thing to say. I hate hearing it. Cui Guo! Slap his mouth until it falls apart!]
After grumbling a little more, Chi Qi turned and saw Shen Wanji listening intently, her attention no longer on him. He quietly changed position, leaned sideways against the wall, and hurriedly searched his mental library for the relevant passages.
*Gossip, come to me!*
