[Hahahahahahaha, where did Yelü Zhendan find this idiot strategist? Not only does nothing good come out of that dog mouth, he seriously believes he’s the greatest strategist under Heaven. Hahahahahahaha, who is he trying to laugh to death?!]
[Idiot Strategist: Your Highness, you are Northern Di’s only legitimate heir. How can a woman be king? Yelü Zhenzhu is a hen crowing at dawn, overturning the proper order of Heaven. As long as Your Highness gives the command, heroes from every quarter will surely answer and help you regain the throne…]
Ying Changle instinctively looked at Ying Chengqi and found him expressionless, completely unmoved by the fact that his uncle wanted to fight his biological mother for the throne.
He thought his adopted brother had been locked underground by the Emperor from infancy and had never met any relatives. To him, a mother and uncle were probably no different from strangers.
The Emperor thought it was a pity Yelü Zhendan could not hear such fascinating inner thoughts and immediately ordered,
“Yelü Zhendan, We must test how sincere your feelings for the princess truly are. We hereby confer on you the title Great General of the Patterned Sword.”
Yelü Zhendan knew a little about Central Plains culture, but not much. He had no idea this was the title once used by the male favorites of princesses two dynasties ago, and thought the Emperor was about to give him troops.
He became so ecstatic that he completely ignored the changes in everyone else’s expression, happily accepted the imperial decree, and thanked the Emperor with extraordinary devotion.
Anyone holding an official post, noble title, or honorary rank under Great Ning could hear Changle’s inner voice. In common terms, anyone who possessed an official seal and court stipend qualified. If the Emperor issued the rank by decree, it took effect immediately.
[Uh, why did the Emperor suddenly give him a title? Hmm, that title… whatever, gossip first!]
Yelü Zhendan looked around in panic. Who was speaking???
He was absolutely certain the voice belonged to a child under five. The only young child here was the Marquis of Xuanping’s youngest son, apparently named Ying Changle?
But the child’s mouth clearly had not moved.
[AAAAH, these two useless geniuses! My only regret is that my slaps can’t reach them. I want to beat both their faces into pig heads!!!]
[Idiot Strategist: The queen of Northern Di absolutely cannot be a foreigner. Circumstances are unusual now. First take Princess Roujia as your principal wife, use Great Ning’s power to seize the throne, then find any excuse to demote her into a concubine.
Yelü Zhendan: Princess Roujia has a fierce temperament. I’m afraid she won’t be so easy to fool.
Idiot Strategist: What does that matter? How difficult can it be to tame a woman married far from home? No matter how fierce a woman is, can’t she be beaten into submission?
Yelü Zhendan: Oh, oh, oh. There’s a saying in the Central Plains: a wife is beaten into shape just as dough is kneaded into shape.
Idiot Strategist: Your Highness truly possesses extraordinary wisdom. One hint and you understand everything.]
…
The more Yelü Zhendan heard, the more frightened he became. He kept swallowing. Despite the freezing weather, sweat poured from his body. He could only think: This must be an illusion. How could a small child know the secret plans I discussed with my strategist?
Princess Roujia had long since become furious. She roared, “Yelü Zhendan, this princess was truly blind to be deceived by you!”
Yelü Zhendan finally realized the voice was no hallucination. Not only could he hear it, everyone around him could hear it too.
Seeing that his daughter had awakened, the Emperor quickly ordered, “Untie the princess.”
Yelü Zhendan hurriedly explained, “Aruo, those were all that idiot strategist’s ideas. I only wanted to regain the throne quickly so I could give you a better life. You are an honored princess of the Celestial Empire. How could I make you live a life of hiding and fleeing with me…?”
Princess Roujia was in a fury and refused to listen. She had also been spoiled by the Emperor and Empress since childhood, giving her the most domineering of tempers. She had never swallowed anger in silence.
She stood, slapped Yelü Zhendan repeatedly across the head and face, and said between blows,
“This princess never knew your heart was so vicious. You even planned to beat this princess? What dog courage! What is your Northern Di worth? One order from my father and your state will cease to exist…”
[Huh? How did the love-brained princess suddenly wake up? Hehehe, whatever. Princess, hit him! Hit him hard!]
Yelü Zhendan glared viciously toward the source of the voice. Ying Changle, I’m going to kill you!
The ministers: Well hit, beautifully hit—hit the barbarian until he squawks!
Yelü Zhendan was unwilling to surrender this chess piece so easily. Even though the situation had become almost completely hopeless for him, he still intended to make one final effort.
Forcing himself to calm down, he knelt at the princess’s feet and tilted his face upward, allowing her slaps to fall without dodging in the slightest. He choked out,
“Aruo, hit me as hard as you want. It’s all my fault. Blame me for not having a good strategist. I hate that strategist to the bone. I’ve been thinking that once I regain the throne, I’ll chop him into pieces and feed him to dogs. I should have cut off his dog head the moment he said those things…”
Princess Roujia remembered that Adan had indeed confided in her before about the pain of having no capable strategist. She had even intended to help him seek advisers, but truly excellent strategists were hard to find.
Yelü Zhendan had already been beaten black and blue, yet he still looked at Princess Roujia with an incomparably pitiful gaze.
[Hmm… those peach-blossom eyes would look devoted even staring at a dog. The princess isn’t going to fall for it again, is she?]
Yelü Zhendan, furious yet helpless: Ying Changle, fuck your eighteen generations of ancestors… little ancestor, Young Marquis, I have no grudge against you. Can that voice of yours please stop and leave me one road to survival?!
Princess Roujia finally vented enough anger and said coldly, “Do you think this princess cares about becoming your queen?”
Yelü Zhendan hurriedly said, “Aruo, Northern Di does have a tradition that its queen cannot be a foreigner, but that only refers to the neighboring minor states.
“Great Ning is the supreme Celestial Empire. For a princess of Great Ning to become queen would be Northern Di’s highest honor. This prince is willing to offer the realm itself as the bride-price and begs the princess to marry down to me!”
Princess Roujia instinctively stroked the bloody scratches she herself had left on Yelü Zhendan’s face and said angrily,
“Your words sound sweeter than songs. If I believe your honeyed lies again, then I truly have a pig’s brain!”
Yelü Zhendan knocked his head hard against the ground again and again as he swore,
“Heaven above and Earth below bear witness. I, Yelü Zhendan, swear today before His Majesty the Emperor, Her Majesty the Empress, and all the civil and military officials:
“If I, Yelü Zhendan, ever wrong Princess Roujia in the slightest, the lands of Northern Di shall be handed over to Great Ning, and the princess may take my head whenever she wishes. Words alone are no proof. I ask the imperial scribe to record this. Let my golden belt token be pledged as evidence!”
Princess Roujia caught hold of Yelü Zhendan, stopping him from knocking his head against the floor. She stroked his blood-covered forehead with her fingertips and choked out,
“What if you scar? That face is the only thing about you that can still please this princess.”
[Heaven, Buddha, love-brain really is incurable! Once she marries over there and gets beaten, she’ll definitely say the classic line: He treats me really well when he isn’t hitting me.]
Emperor and Empress: Changle, curse harder! Curse the princess awake!
Princess Roujia knelt solemnly and said frankly,
“Father, Mother, I’ve long known Adan is deeply calculating, and I know he uses me. But it isn’t all exploitation. We truly love each other as well. Besides, if he didn’t possess the ambition to regain his throne, I wouldn’t have been interested in him.”
[Huh??? This is really hard to evaluate! So Yelü Zhendan’s elementary-school scheming attracted Princess Roujia’s kindergarten-level mind.]
The Empress said urgently, “Ruo’er, you are still young. How could you understand the suffering of marrying far from home, much less as part of a political alliance? Do you think it’s a children’s game?”
Xiao Ruo merely looked calmly toward the gathered ministers.
Yelü Zhendan looked even more certain of victory.
[Why does the princess have such an “eminent scholars will naturally argue my case for me” expression? Did she correctly predict that the ministers will desperately push for the political marriage? What a genius!]
Sure enough, the ministers then began urging the Emperor from every angle to agree to the political marriage.
[Faced with such a hopelessly love-brained daughter, even the mighty Emperor Shenyuan, perfect in civil rule and military achievement alike, appears to have lost all strength and every method!]
Emperor: Changle, We misjudged you before. So you understand Us this well!
[Meow meow meow? Those maids Yelü Zhendan keeps beside him are all princesses from surrounding minor states?! No, bro, is he a princess harvester? Have these princesses gone insane? They’re willing to follow him even as maids?
Oh, so he used exactly the same routine he used on Princess Roujia and made them all follow him willingly.
Isn’t this basically an ancient romance-scam operation customized specifically for princesses??? And he deliberately chose princesses who were bold, rebellious, and especially love-brained. Of course the success rate was high!]
The ministers: …You can do that??? Yelü Zhendan does have some ability after all.
Yelü Zhendan glared at Ying Changle so viciously he wished he could kill the boy with his eyes.
The Emperor immediately ordered, “Bring all of Yelü Zhendan’s maids here.”
The maid at the front prostrated herself. “Reporting to the Heavenly Khan, I am a princess of Western Xia. Although I and these sisters are all princesses, we would never dare compare ourselves with a princess of Great Ning. In the future Princess Roujia will be queen, while we shall be concubines. We dare desire nothing more.”
[No, why are all these princesses looking at Yelü Zhendan with such deep love? They’ve been deceived this badly and they still love him? Crazy, crazy, they’re all crazy!]
The Emperor said coldly, “Yelü Zhendan, if you can kill them personally, We will believe you are willing to do anything for Aruo, and We will approve your marriage.”
The commander of the Imperial Guard immediately untied Yelü Zhendan and handed him an extraordinarily sharp sword.
Yelü Zhendan took the sword, looked at the three princesses, and said coldly,
“Only after meeting Aruo did I understand how beautiful the vow is: from three thousand waters, I drink from only one. I already gave all of you plenty of gold and silver and told you to leave. You refused to go. Do not blame me for being ruthless now!”
Yelü Zhendan raised the sword high. The princesses had long expected that this day might come. They merely trembled and cried in despair.
[Hmph. If Princess Roujia thinks Yelü Zhendan being able to kill them without hesitation for her means he loves her most, then she and this scumbag truly are made for each other. Hurry up and marry into the alliance. Respect, blessings, lock them together forever!]
The Western Xia princess was unwilling to accept it after all. She cried, “Adan, please beg His Majesty for mercy for me. I’m already carrying your child. I promise that once the child is born, I’ll take my own life!”
Yelü Zhendan said viciously, “Bitch, stop talking nonsense! I fell in love with Aruo at first sight and never touched any of you again. Who knows what wild bastard is in your belly? Better for both of you to die cleanly!”
The Western Xia princess was so enraged that she coughed up a mouthful of blood. Finally falling into complete despair, she looked at Yelü Zhendan with mingled love and hatred and said with a strange half-smile,
“Ruler of Northern Di, may you possess ten thousand miles of mountains and rivers—and enjoy boundless loneliness.”
[Ugh, ugh, ugh. Princess of Western Xia, what invincible garbage tragic-romance script are you holding now??? Do protagonists of abusive romances receive professional training? Is that a mandatory line?
The key point is that when Western Xia and Northern Di went to war, your father died at Yelü Zhendan’s hands!
Hurry and tell me you’re a tool character being controlled by some garbage tragic-romance script. Are there really people this ridiculous in real life? I refuse to believe it!
If anyone dared touch my family, I’d grind their bones to ash, dig up eighteen generations of their ancestors, and soak them in a pit latrine to ferment into fertilizer!]
The ministers: …Ying Changle really did inherit the vicious ruthlessness of those slaughter-god parents of his.
