“How can you be so stupid?!”
Zhou Zhou’s vision went black. His ears were filled with piercing shrieks.
At two in the morning, he had hidden under the blankets and happily finished reading I Became Famous After Taking My Overpowered Son on a Parenting Show. He had just put down his phone and prepared to sleep when he arrived here.
The black fog before his eyes slowly dispersed, and Zhou Zhou finally saw his surroundings clearly.
It was an enormous, luxurious kitchen. Every kind of cooking utensil and ingredient was arranged across the counters.
A little child in a bear apron stood on a small stool, holding children’s cooking tools and preparing food.
Zhou Zhou could not control his mouth.
“We’re going on the show tomorrow, and you can’t even make braised lion’s-head meatballs. How are we supposed to go on the show? How are we supposed to become famous? Are you deliberately trying to ruin me?”
Zhou Zhou: ?
The child looked about three years old. Making a three-year-old cook braised lion’s-head meatballs?
Was there something wrong with this person?
The next second, Zhou Zhou uncontrollably raised his hand, extended one finger, and viciously poked the child in the forehead. “You’re so stupid you might as well die of it!”
The little one swayed on the stool, about to fall.
At the critical moment, Zhou Zhou finally snapped back to himself.
He lunged forward and caught the child.
The instant he embraced him, countless memories flooded Zhou Zhou’s mind.
He had transmigrated into I Became Famous After Taking My Overpowered Son on a Parenting Show, the novel he had just finished.
But he and the child were not the protagonists. They were a cannon-fodder father-and-son pair.
The original owner was a minor celebrity hated across the internet. The child was born after he climbed into the bed of a powerful CEO at a banquet.
Trying to revive his career, the original owner took the child onto a parenting show and aggressively built the personas of a “scatterbrained little diva dad” and a “three-year-old overpowered-genius son,” calling it “reverse parenting.”
His behavior included, but was not limited to:
Making his three-year-old son stand on a stool and cook over an open flame because Dad could not cook.
Making his three-year-old son splash through a mud pit because Dad wanted to win but was afraid of getting dirty.
Making his three-year-old son go out alone late at night to buy medicine because Dad ate too many snacks.
The original owner demanded absurdly high standards from the child. He not only had to know how to cook, he was expected to produce an imperial banquet.
That was why, at this hour when even the dogs were asleep, he was still supervising the child making braised lion’s-head meatballs in the kitchen—and screaming abuse whenever the child failed.
Of course, viewers had eyes.
As soon as the program went live tomorrow, the original owner would keep humiliating himself.
The comments he imagined: The overpowered little genius is carrying Dad! So loving!
The actual comments: Child abuser, go sit in prison!
Zhou Zhou: 🙂
Very criminal. At this rate, his future was looking more and more promising—in terms of years behind bars.
Even after things reached that point, the original owner did not reflect on himself. Instead, he blamed every failure on the child, abused him even more viciously, and even incited him to exclude and bully the protagonist’s child.
Later, the increasingly deranged original owner became the foil to the gentle, kind protagonist shou, while the increasingly silent and withdrawn child became the foil to the cheerful, optimistic protagonist child.
The main story ended, and the extras about the children growing up began.
The little one grew up in that oppressive environment. He successfully outlived the original owner and inherited the CEO father’s fortune, but he grew completely crooked and became the great villain.
With money and power, the villain became psychologically twisted and acted with terrifying recklessness. Because of the childhood trauma from the parenting show, he regarded the protagonist family as his mortal enemies, opposed them at every turn, and tried to destroy their happy family and careers.
Naturally, he never succeeded even once.
In the end, on a quiet rainy night, he went to his celebrity father’s grave and blew the tomb to pieces. Then he went to his CEO father’s corporate headquarters and shot himself in the president’s office on the top floor.
Zhou Zhou returned from his thoughts and lowered his head to look at the child in his arms.
The little one had his head bowed. Soft black hair hung over his forehead, hiding his expression and making him seem a little gloomy.
Zhou Zhou’s heart jolted. Oh no. Was the future villain already thinking about how to blow up his grave?
Danger!!!
What should he do? What should he do? Was there some kind of villain recycling center here?
The next second, the little one sensed Zhou Zhou looking at him. He wriggled out of Zhou Zhou’s arms, stretched out a small hand, and touched his clothes. “Sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to.”
Zhou Zhou was puzzled. “What?”
Why was he apologizing?
The child kept his head down. “I’ll wash the clothes later and iron them. Then when we go on the show tomorrow, they’ll be smooth again.”
Zhou Zhou: ?!!!
The child kept his head lowered, so Zhou Zhou could only see the plump cheeks that looked like Shin-chan’s. They bulged out softly and trembled with every word.
Zhou Zhou’s heart was instantly struck by an unidentified object.
Zhou Zhou’s brain: Wake up. This is the great villain!
Zhou Zhou’s heart: Damn it! The original owner made a three-year-old wash clothes!
Brain: This is the villain!
Heart: What villain? This is obviously my good baby!
Brain: This is—
Heart: Putting the facts aside, don’t I bear at least some responsibility? Besides, my grave hasn’t been blown up yet, has it?
Zhou Zhou hugged the child tightly and searched his memories for the boy’s name. “Did you hurt yourself when you almost fell? …Paopao?”
Because he was only a cannon-fodder child in the novel, his name was literally “Paopao.”
Wuwu. Even more pitiful.
Paopao shook his head. “No.”
Zhou Zhou loosened his hold a little. “Good. Then…”
“I understand.” Paopao lowered his head, struggled out of Zhou Zhou’s arms, picked up the meatball mixture on the counter, and started stirring again. “I’ll do it again. I’ll definitely succeed this time.”
“No…” Zhou Zhou hurriedly took it away. “You don’t have to. You don’t have to do it again. You never have to do it again.”
Paopao gave him a strange look, then quickly lowered his head. “Then I’ll make something else.”
Zhou Zhou felt through his pockets, took out his phone, and checked the time.
Good heavens. It was already two in the morning.
Zhou Zhou tried to soften his tone. “It’s so late. Are you sleepy? Do you want to go back to your room and sleep?”
“Mm.” Paopao reached out. “Then I’ll clean this up first.”
Damn the original owner! What had he done to this adorable little child?
This was a child, not a tiny slave!
Zhou Zhou lifted him down from the stool. “You go sleep first. I… Dad will clean up.”
Paopao raised his head and gave him a strange look. Only after realizing he meant it did he timidly answer, “…Thank you for your hard work, Dad.”
He untied the bear apron, stood on tiptoe to hang it on the wall, then turned to leave.
Watching the tiny back, Zhou Zhou suddenly felt as though someone had squeezed his heart. “I’m sorry, Paopao.”
Although it had been the original owner who yelled at him just now…
Zhou Zhou still wanted to comfort him.
Paopao stopped but did not speak or turn around. Instead, he clenched his little fleshy fists.
Looking at that stubborn back, Zhou Zhou added, “You already did very well.”
Paopao still did not turn around. Instead, he moved his short little legs and zipped away.
Zhou Zhou sighed.
*
Paopao ran upstairs and returned to his room.
He stood on tiptoe, closed the door, then rubbed his eyes hard.
Two tiny Paopaos began arguing beside his ears.
“Don’t be fooled by that man!”
“But Dad hugged me just now. Otherwise I would’ve fallen.”
“He’s only being nice because we’re going on the show.”
“But Dad said ‘sorry’ to me just now.”
“He’s always fierce! He won’t suddenly become nice!”
The two tiny Paopaos vanished with a pop, leaving behind only one sentence—
“Don’t trust him!”
Right. Don’t trust him.
Paopao put on a stern little face, walked to his desk, pulled open the bottom drawer, and took out a sheet of pinyin practice paper.
Dad wanted him to be a “little genius,” so every day he had pinyin lessons and character-recognition lessons. He had secretly torn this sheet out of his notebook during class.
Paopao gripped a pencil and drew a heavy vertical line in the final square.
Each vertical line represented one time Dad had been mean to him. Every time Dad was mean, he drew one line.
When he first started keeping track a few days ago, he told himself that when the paper was full, he would stop liking Dad.
Now the paper was full.
But…
The image of Zhou Zhou holding him and apologizing suddenly appeared in Paopao’s mind.
He hesitated for a very, very long time. Finally, he picked up the pencil again and added one crooked little square after the final one.
One last chance for Dad. If Dad was mean to him one more time, then he really would stop liking him.
When he turned eighteen, he would get a job and leave Dad.
Having made his decision, Paopao returned the pinyin sheet to the drawer, climbed into bed, and tucked his little blanket around himself.
He was an ice-cream-hearted child. He was cold and merciless!
*
In the kitchen.
Zhou Zhou did a simple cleanup of the counter, sat at the dining table, and seriously went through the original owner’s phone.
Strangely enough, he had just confirmed that he had transmigrated physically in his own body, yet his fingerprint unlocked the original owner’s phone, and even the identification saved on the phone was identical to his own.
But with less than seven hours until the parenting show began, he had no time to wonder about it.
He could only hurry, skim the electronic contract and schedule his manager had sent, and open the notes app to record every plot point he still remembered while the original novel was fresh in his mind.
Yes. He had already decided to go on the parenting show with the child.
Not because the child was pitiful, and not because the child was adorable. Mainly because…
If he refused, he would owe a thirty-million-yuan contractual penalty.
Wuwuwu. Zhou Zhou shed the tears of poverty.
Still, the child’s future villainous turn was mainly caused by the childhood trauma the parenting show gave him.
Zhou Zhou thought that as long as he prepared properly and protected Paopao, things should be fine.
*
At four in the morning, his phone battery was down to ten percent.
Zhou Zhou put the phone aside and stretched.
His several-thousand-word Parenting Show Survival Guide was finished. He could sleep!
He walked out of the kitchen, preparing to go to bed.
Then he suddenly remembered something, backed up two steps, grabbed the handle, and shut the kitchen door.
Locked tight!
Starting today, the child was forbidden from entering the kitchen!
Only after completing that final task did Zhou Zhou go upstairs.
The original owner lived in a detached villa. It looked pretty nice.
Mm… there were just too many rooms upstairs, and Zhou Zhou had no idea which one he slept in.
He casually pushed open the door of the room closest to the stairs and turned on the light. A few seconds later, he hurriedly switched it off again.
There was a small bump under the blanket. Obviously, this was the child’s room.
Sorry. Dad didn’t mean to.
Zhou Zhou was about to back out when he suddenly realized—shouldn’t Dad and child sleep together?
Dad and child.
Zhou Zhou and Paopao.
Nothing wrong with that.
Zhou Zhou pushed the door open again and poked his head in. “Baby, Dad’s here!”
At that moment, Paopao, whose back was turned to him, opened his eyes warily.
He had already fallen asleep, but Dad had woken him.
What did Dad want now? Was he going to make him get up and make meatballs?
Paopao closed his eyes and decided to pretend to sleep.
The next second, he felt the mattress dip beside him. Zhou Zhou’s quiet voice came from behind. “Good night, little one.”
Paopao: ?!!!
What exactly was Dad doing? Why was he sleeping with him?
Was it because they were filming tomorrow, so Dad wanted to sleep with him?
Right. It had to be that.
Paopao clutched the blanket, wiggled his little bottom, and scooted away from Zhou Zhou.
He did not want to sleep with Dad.
Zhou Zhou noticed him moving, turned his head, and looked at him.
A little two-heads-tall child, short and soft, wiggling with all his might like a twisty candy.
In the darkness, a demonic hand reached out.
Paopao struggled hard. “I’m asleep. I don’t want to make braised lion’s-head meatballs.”
Zhou Zhou laughed without a shred of morality. “Who’s asleep? Raise your hand so I can see.”
Paopao shot both little hands straight up. “Me! I’m asleep!”
Little villain, but also a fool.
Author’s Note:
Paopao: Getting up right now to blow up Dad’s grave!
Little villain. Extremely ruthless.
• The story has begun! Updates at 18:00. See you there, cuties.
• Reverse transmigration. The child is biologically theirs. The gong and shou both return at the beginning.