【Isn't this the dating show that advertised itself as a feast of gorgeous faces? Someone who looks like that can get on the show too?】
【No, seriously. Everyone came here to watch handsome men fall in love. Does a face like his belong on a dating show? Didn't the promotion promise us a feast of gorgeous faces? This practically counts as fraud.】
【Zhou the Skinflint, you tricked me into watching another show!!!】
The protagonist currently being roasted by the comments was Song Yanqiao.
He sat on a high stool with a pair of black-framed glasses perched on his nose, while his overgrown hair covered his eyebrows and eyes.
Dressed in an ordinary plaid shirt, he looked as unremarkable as a mushroom growing quietly in some forgotten corner, silent and completely plain.
"Qiaoqiao, your disguise is really good. The comments are all saying you aren't good-looking."
"See? I told you that you're a good baby with real cannon-fodder potential."
"Nothing will go wrong this time. The protagonist group will definitely send us to Africa to mine coal." System 47 could not help praising Song Yanqiao.
Song Yanqiao pushed his glasses up his nose, looking exactly like an emotionless capybara.
Capybara: vacant.
Being alive was fine.
Being dead would be fine too.
Nineteen years ago, Song Yanqiao had died suddenly after staying up all night reading novels, then transmigrated into this world as a fetus. This world was a fusion of several novels from the same series.
System 47, which had bound itself to him, told him that he was merely cannon fodder in this world. His destiny was to grow up and participate in a dating reality show as a comparison character, making the handsome, wealthy protagonist group look even better.
Because he would refuse to accept being their foil and keep causing trouble, the protagonist group would take turns sending him to Africa to mine coal.
But as Song Yanqiao grew older, 47 began letting out increasingly shrill internal screams. Why was Song Yanqiao, the supposedly ugly and vicious cannon fodder, getting prettier by the day?!
Song Yanqiao raised his eyes. "Qiqi, do we really have to go mine coal?"
47: "Of course! That's exactly the kind of ending vicious cannon fodder like us should have!"
Song Yanqiao: "…"
He did not particularly want to go.
But if he absolutely had to, then… "Fine."
—
"You're a guest too?" Gu Yiming narrowed his eyes and looked at Song Yanqiao with open disdain.
Before coming onto the show, Gu Yiming had already heard that the director of this dating program had found someone with an utterly ordinary appearance to serve as the comparison character.
It looked like Song Yanqiao was the ugly foil the director had arranged. Gu Yiming had to admire the director's cleverness. Tossing a clown like Song Yanqiao in among handsome men like him would immediately drive up the show's popularity and discussion.
That was good. Later, everyone would pay even more attention to his looks and talent.
As for Song Yanqiao, he only needed to do his job as the comparison character, get thoroughly crushed beneath Gu Yiming's feet, and serve as his backdrop.
"You really have courage, coming onto a dating show looking like that."
"If I were you, I wouldn't even dare leave the house and let people see me."
Gu Yiming could not resist quietly mocking Song Yanqiao.
Song Yanqiao: "…"
"47, I feel like he's more suited to being vicious cannon fodder than I am."
Song Yanqiao ignored Gu Yiming. Gu Yiming's hostility toward him was obvious, and Song Yanqiao had no desire to get close to him either.
That somehow irritated Gu Yiming. Of course he did not want an ugly thing like this deliberately trying to approach him.
But having that ugly thing neither flatter him nor envy his looks—and even outright ignore him—still made him uncomfortable.
Countless fans had praised his face before. How could this ugly thing look at him and remain completely unmoved?
Gu Yiming glared venomously at Song Yanqiao.
Ugly things really were ugly things. He did not even understand basic social etiquette. Had nobody ever taught him manners?
Song Yanqiao was still waiting for 47 to speak, entirely unaware that Gu Yiming had already gone through a hundred twists and turns in his mind and now hated him to death.
In 47's words, Song Yanqiao's natural airheadedness could sometimes be infuriating.
47: "…Qiaoqiao, see? I told you you're perfect for vicious cannon fodder. Gu Yiming's disgust meter toward you is completely maxed out. He's practically dying of anger."
Song Yanqiao: "…?"
I didn't even do anything to him. How did he manage to make himself this angry?
Song Yanqiao reasonably concluded that he must have offended Gu Yiming's eyes by being too ugly. At that thought, Song Yanqiao smiled. If he could be ugly enough to irritate Gu Yiming, then he could definitely do a good job as the comparison character.
47: "It's fine. That isn't important. Qiaoqiao, let's keep eating gossip."
—
{Can this scumbag stop ruining other people's lives?}
{He doesn't do a single decent human thing! Manipulation, silent treatment, domestic violence—he collected the full set. He cheats on two people at once, drives one insane, and drives the other to death.}
{47, can we send the scumbag to Africa to mine coal?}
The other six guests had just stepped into the cottage when they all froze in confusion. Who was talking?
The moment they entered, they heard a beautiful voice. Clear and melodious as spring water running down a mountain, it was the kind of voice that could make anyone obsessed with voices drool.
Yet the content of that beautiful voice sent chills down their backs.
Not one person who heard those words could remain calm.
Had they run into a ghost?
Who on earth was speaking? Everyone restrained themselves and glanced left and right, only to discover that nobody's mouth was moving.
Were they hallucinating?
They were all strangers to one another, and each assumed the voice might have been an auditory hallucination, so nobody deliberately brought it up.
Gu Yiming, the only one who could not hear Song Yanqiao's inner voice, broke the awkward silence. "Everyone should be here now, right? Then let's introduce ourselves. I'll go first. My name is Gu Yiming. I don't know whether you listen to much music, but if you do, you may have heard one of my songs."
His songs were very famous. Surely they had all heard them before.
And even if they did not know his songs, they should at least be impressed by his voice. His vocal tone was excellent; he had always known that.
But everyone else's minds were still filled with Song Yanqiao's clear, beautiful inner voice from moments earlier.
It really was an astonishingly beautiful voice.
After hearing Song Yanqiao first, Gu Yiming's tone could only sound like a supporting act no matter how pleasant it was.
【Brother Gu is way too modest. Even people who don't listen to music know Brother Gu, right? His face alone has already gone viral, and his voice is amazing too!】
【Of course Brother Gu isn't like some ugly thing who makes people lose all desire to get acquainted.】
After everyone else introduced themselves, it was finally Song Yanqiao's turn. He gave the simplest possible introduction. "Song Yanqiao."
His speaking voice was exactly the same as the voice they had just heard.
Had Song Yanqiao been the one speaking earlier?
At that instant, everyone's gaze landed on Song Yanqiao.
Song Yanqiao: ?
{47, why are they all looking at me?} Song Yanqiao wondered. {Am I so ugly that I hurt their eyes?}
Because of Song Yanqiao's inner voice, the surrounding atmosphere abruptly froze.
Gu Yiming discreetly shot Song Yanqiao another glare.
Sure enough. Song Yanqiao was so ugly that everyone had been rendered speechless.
The director was confused too. It was the first time he had ever seen the atmosphere freeze this badly. This should not be happening.
These guests were either outgoing people who knew how to play things up or elite professionals in their respective fields. A scene like this should have been nothing to them. Getting the atmosphere going should have been easy.
How had things ended up like this? Why was nobody speaking? The director went from baffled to mildly panicked.
He suddenly felt as if this dating show might die before it had even properly begun.
The director hurriedly sent the host out to cue the next segment.
Wanwan: "Hello, everyone. I'm very happy to meet you all here on Heartbeat Moment."
"Some love stories are decided at first sight. Have any of our guests already seen someone who caught their eye? Have you started imagining what it might be like to go on a date with him?"
"You can now write the name of the person who currently makes your heart flutter on your card."
"Oh, right! Dates are mutually selected. If two people choose each other, you'll win the opportunity to go on a date together."
"Besides that, every guest gets one chance to change their choice before ten o'clock tonight."
"Go ahead and write down your current choice."
The instant Wanwan finished speaking, before she could even add anything else, the comments began flying across the livestream.
【Wait, Song Yanqiao is actually thinking seriously? He doesn't genuinely believe this show invited him here to fall in love, does he?】
【Biggest joke I've heard all year: Song Yanqiao joined a dating show.】
【I'm calling it right now. There is absolutely no way anyone will choose Song Yanqiao. If somebody does, I'll eat shit on livestream.】
【You know what, now that you mention it… he's thinking so seriously. Is he planning to hook one of those heirs from a wealthy family and leap straight into the upper class?】
Song Yanqiao had no idea what the comments were saying. His mind had already drifted far away.
Gu Yiming deliberately maneuvered himself into the same camera frame as Song Yanqiao. Song Yanqiao was ugly, so standing beside him would make Gu Yiming look his best by comparison.
Gu Yiming: "Yanqiao, who are you planning to choose? Want your big brother here to help you think it over?"
Song Yanqiao had not even noticed Gu Yiming approaching. He only snapped back to reality when he heard Gu Yiming's voice.
Gu Yiming wanted to show off his handsome left profile so badly that his mouth was practically pressed against Song Yanqiao's face.
Startled, Song Yanqiao instinctively recoiled before he had any chance to control his expression.
The livestream camera captured every bit of the horror on his face.
【Fuck, what's that supposed to mean?】
【He's ugly and he still has the nerve to act disgusted by my brother? My brother getting close to you is a blessing you must've cultivated across several lifetimes.】
【What a lunatic. Does he think he's some gorgeous heartthrob that everyone wants?】
【Being ugly is bad enough, but he's so dramatic too. Everyone must hate him already, right? I know I hate Song Yanqiao to death.】
Song Yanqiao took a moment to recover, then finally lost control. {AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!}
The other guests, whose eardrums had nearly shattered from Song Yanqiao's inner scream: …
Seriously, why did Gu Yiming have to provoke Song Yanqiao?
{When humans meet, they lie and put on an act.}
Everyone: …That felt vaguely insulting.
{Dogs are the ones who kiss and lick when they meet, QAQ. Bad dog, back, back, back!}
Everyone: …
Xiao Chen's ears hurt from the volume of Song Yanqiao's thoughts. He could not help shooting Gu Yiming an unfriendly look. "Why are you licking him?"
Gu Yiming: "…"
Gu Yiming tried to explain. "I wasn't licking him…"
Xiao Chen: "Only because he got away fast enough. Otherwise you would've gotten a lick in."
Gu Yiming's face flushed red with anger, but he could not think of a single response.
If someone accused him of something he had not done, he could produce evidence proving he had not done it.
But how was he supposed to refute something he had not even had the chance to do yet?!
Song Yanqiao also looked plainly dumbfounded. He obediently clung to the wall in a corner, poked out his fluffy head, and offered a solemn judgment. {Oh, my honorable clear-broth magistrate.}
Xiao Chen: …
Shen Zhou forced a smile as he thought everything through. In the end, he wrote Song Yanqiao's name as the person who made his heart flutter.
He had no idea why he could hear Song Yanqiao's thoughts, but for now, Song Yanqiao was at least the safest choice.
【Uh… who was it that said nobody would like Song Yanqiao?】
【Song Yanqiao is a literal heartthrob.】
【??? Have I gone blind? Wait, no. Has my sense of beauty just failed to keep up with current trends?】
【Uh, uh, why is everyone choosing Song Yanqiao?】
【Let me see. Shen Zhou, Lin Xuan, Yu Qingyan, and Xiao Chen all chose Song Yanqiao.】
【I'm dying. Whoever promised to eat shit on livestream can get started now.】
【The comments are even more entertaining than the show. The face-slapping in here is nonstop.】
Wanwan continued cueing the program. "What made each of you decide to participate in Heartbeat Moment?"
Everyone had their own ulterior thoughts and no interest in answering Wanwan properly. Except for Song Yanqiao, the other guests responded in perfect unison, "To find true love."
【Um… so they chose Song Yanqiao because they think Song Yanqiao is their true love?】
【I don't really get it.】
【The young masters probably only chose Song Yanqiao to be polite. Once they get free time, nobody will pay attention to him. I mean, Song Yanqiao really does look unbelievably ordinary. Who would like that face?】
Wanwan: "…"
Aaaaaah! Was that really what she had asked the question to hear? She could not carry these people. She absolutely could not.
Song Yanqiao was still mentally wandering through the original plot, so his reaction came half a beat late when everyone else answered Wanwan's question.
After suffering such a crushing defeat, Wanwan pinned all her remaining hopes on Song Yanqiao.
"Yanqiao, did you come here to find true love too?" Wanwan's voice was so gentle that it was almost frightening.
It sounded as if, should Song Yanqiao give her the same answer, Wanwan might strangle someone on the spot.
Suddenly cued, Song Yanqiao replied, "No. The production team pays me two thousand a day, with food and accommodation included. The pay was high, so I came."
【HOW MUCH!? Two thousand a day?】
【Since when can looking ordinary pay the bills? Song Yanqiao, you've worked this job long enough. Isn't it my turn now?】
【Not bad? You call that 'not bad'? Work for one month and that's sixty thousand in salary.】
【Heaven, you really don't treat me like your grandchild. You give a job like this to Song Yanqiao but not to me.】
Song Yanqiao silently added another thought. {Of course, it's also because this show is basically a natural melon patch full of gossip. A scumbag dating two people at once, a real married couple pretending not to know each other while appearing on a dating show, someone running away while pregnant… it all sounds so interesting.}
{I really, really want to see a cool, aloof beauty pregnant with a baby.}
The guests: "???"
Pregnant?
Pregnant with what?
Pregnant with a baby?
But they were all men!!!