Qi Jun did not think there was anything particularly good about such customs, but neither did he think there was anything wrong with them. Some people lived obscure lives, so there was nothing wrong with making a little noise after they died. But then there were people like his mother. She could clearly have lived a happy, comfortable life, yet because she had loved the wrong person, she had paid with her reputation and even her life. Had it been worth it? Including giving birth to him—had any of it really been worth it?
When he reached his mother’s grave, Qi Jun placed the lilies in front of the headstone. “Mom, I came to see you. Lilies were your favorite when you were alive. I picked every single one carefully.”
There was no one around, and Qi Jun did not want to leave so soon. Thinking about what had happened yesterday, he suddenly wanted to talk to his mother. “Mom, let me tell you something. Your son, of all people, apparently has someone who likes him. I didn’t even realize it. Zhao Jia told me that what that junior girl said to me meant she wanted to date me. But… I don’t even make two thousand a month. How could that possibly be enough to support a family? I figure getting married can wait until I’ve worked my way up a little more. Oh, right. A few days ago I took two roujiamo to work, and my coworkers stole them. They said mine tasted better than the ones sold outside. Mom, do you think it might be better if I opened a little restaurant someday? The dishes you taught me really are delicious. Whenever I order the same things outside, they’re nowhere close. And a few days ago, the upstairs apartment leaked and flooded our place. When I moved everything out, I actually found those medical books I could never locate before. Thank goodness they didn’t get wet. I remember you said Grandpa left them behind. No matter what, I have to preserve them properly. Actually, I think studying traditional Chinese medicine is pretty good. There are quite a few more students majoring in it at the school this year than before, and more people have been borrowing books on the subject…”
After leaving the cemetery, Qi Jun went back to the school cafeteria for lunch. Ordinarily, he bought groceries and cooked for himself. His mother’s health had begun to fail when he was ten, and from then on, he had taken responsibility for shopping and cooking.
Although mother and son had only had each other to rely on, Qi Jun had always felt that his home life was happy. Unfortunately, fate had not been kind. Not long after his university acceptance letter arrived, his mother’s already-poor health suddenly deteriorated, and in the end she did not survive. The doctor had said it was partly the lingering damage from the massive hemorrhage she suffered giving birth to him. If someone had cared for her properly and helped her recuperate back then, her body would never have become so frail. Deep down, Qi Jun resented that “father”—and even himself. But he knew he had been the apple of his mother’s eye. He would treat himself well. Only then could his mother rest peacefully in the afterlife.
A bowl of rice and a plate of stir-fried bean sprouts. His lunches were always that simple. People at the school who knew him could never understand it. Qi Jun’s salary was not particularly high for the moment, but it was enough to live on in this small city. The school paid his five social-insurance contributions, and he owned a two-bedroom apartment with a living room. A single man really did not need to economize this much, especially since Qi Jun neither smoked nor drank.
The truth was that Qi Jun was simply used to it. He always felt that if money did not need to be spent, then it was better not to spend it. The cafeteria food was always so… barely passable no matter how it was cooked, so he might as well eat the cheapest option. It was far more worthwhile to go home in the evening and cook something delicious for himself.
Back at the library, Qi Jun sat down at his desk and stretched his arms. When he tilted his head, he happened to see the unremarkable little stone on the lost-and-found counter. He had found it on a shelf three days earlier while checking books. The stone was completely ordinary, neither beautifully shaped nor crystal clear, but a red cord had been tied through it, so it was probably something someone wore. That was why he had placed it at the lost-and-found counter.
Qi Jun liked the stone very much. From the first moment he saw it, he had felt inexplicably drawn to it. Ever since finding it, he picked it up to look at it every day, then reluctantly put it back. He did not know why, but he even had the thought that if no one came to claim it after two months, he might secretly keep it for himself. That was obviously completely out of character for an honest person like him, so whenever the thought appeared, he wondered whether something had possessed him. It felt strange.
“You bastard! What the fuck kind of friend are you? You even slept with your bro’s woman! Are you an animal?!” A furious roar suddenly shattered the library’s silence.