A Salted Fish Coasts Through a Remarriage Variety Show [Entertainment Industry]
by Yuan
Synopsis:
Male Guest No. 2: “Oh, I went to LA last year for an EMBA. I thought the sea breeze there was quite nice. What about you?”
Shen Li: “Me? I completed nine years of compulsory education in China.”
Female Guest No. 1: “Haha, you’re so funny. I think this little cake is really good. Its light milky fragrance is very distinctive—it goes straight through the mouth, nasal cavity, pelvic cavity… Would you like a piece?”
Shen Li: “No, thanks. It won’t fill me up—are you still eating this steamed bun?”
Male Guest No. 3: “What do you do for work?”
Shen Li: “Just an ordinary salaried job. Fixed wages.”
Female Guest No. 4: “Can I ask something I probably shouldn’t—where are you most sensitive?”
Shen Li’s eyes slanted sideways, his beautiful gaze cool and indifferent. “My political stance, I suppose—don’t you have anything else to ask?”
—
The remarriage variety show 《Triggered? Ex-Husband Bro》 makes a sensational debut, with eight guests moving into the house.
From afar, they are elites from every profession, glamorous and overflowing with charm;
up close, they are mushrooms each harboring their own schemes, playing dumb for fame or profit.
Those who can remarry, remarry. Those who can switch partners, switch partners.
Once the show’s games are over, the couples are thrown into one chaotic stew—who is taking whom seriously?
Yet this variety show has another special attraction:
Two of the ordinary non-celebrity guests living in the house are actually the exes of two major stars sitting in the livestream observation studio!
After an audience vote, an “ex-husband bro” may get the chance to enter the remarriage house and pursue his ex all over again!
Shen Li is the first person to move into the remarriage house, commonly known as Male Guest No. 1.
He also has the weakest profile among all the guests. He lives on a fixed salary, unlike those rich men and women who open their mouths and English comes out, and who can apparently make the taste of a meal resonate from their nasal cavities all the way to their pelvic cavities. He is simply an ordinary citizen, and he even walks with a slight limp.
Shen Li joins the show as little more than a fringe participant. He is certain no one will be interested in him, and even more certain that he will never get back together with Qian Xingzhi—
He used to be a police officer.
He had served in both the SWAT unit and criminal investigations, earned a second-class merit award, and crippled one leg. When he could no longer run, he was transferred to a desk position. Unable to let go of the mountain village whose people had once saved his life, he eventually left the force and began helping the villagers build a better livelihood.
Shen Li has not come on the show for remarriage, much less romance.
He only wants to get some publicity for the village primary school, recruit a few more excellent teachers, and incidentally collect the astronomically high appearance fee to fund village development.
So Shen Li goes along with the current. If he can ride a little on his ex-husband’s fame, why waste the opportunity?
Besides, when the two of them broke up back then…
there really was no shameful melodrama involved. They were simply incompatible.
They belonged to two different worlds, both were busy, both had their own lives, and they could barely meet twice a year.
No matter how passionately they had loved in high school, once that heat faded, they ultimately became people from two separate worlds.
He…
could not satisfy Qian Xingzhi.
If he could not give him what he wanted, it was better to let go sooner.
All these years, Shen Li never knew whether Qian Xingzhi had found someone else.
All he saw was Qian Xingzhi on screen, stepping onto higher and higher award stages, smiling as he thanked the production crews and his family, as though he had embraced the whole world. Yet in Qian Xingzhi’s world, Shen Li was no longer needed either.
Whatever.
Shen Li treats the variety show like clocking in for work and casually slacks off.
Those “two-million-a-day” celebrities really do make money easily. Better to scoop up a little more cash for village construction—that is the practical thing to do.
—
Qian Xingzhi panics. Truly panics.
Can Shen Li’s leg still recover?
Why does everyone want to go on dates with Shen Li?!
What bunch of crooked melons, cracked jujubes, demons and monsters are these? You think you’re worthy?
—That is my wife! Mine!
If he had known this would happen, he should never have clung to Shen Li every day back then, sniveling like an aggrieved little wife. Shen Li hated love-brained people most of all, and he especially hated being disturbed while working. It was all Qian Xingzhi’s fault for being so immature and clingy.
But now things are different. In the seven years since their divorce, Qian Xingzhi has transformed from a clingy, sex-addicted, love-brained top into an icy beauty with a restrained, abstinent image. If he is like this now, Shen Li should like him, right? QAQ…
Quiet, low-libido, aloof. Exactly Shen Li’s favorite type.
No.
He cannot keep pretending much longer. Hurry up and vote for me!
Are the viewers blind? Why won’t they vote for me?!
—Let me in! My wife is Shen Li!
—Fine. Just let me into the house first. Once I’m in, I’ll keep pretending to be that icy-beauty number-one type or whatever. Okay?
Qian Xingzhi paces around the studio like a hot dog on a hot griddle.
Fans: ………Well, well, divorced man. So that aloof, icy, mature-man persona you’ve worn all these years was all an act?
Qian Xingzhi (tearful · fragile · shattered · terminally aloof edition): I’m fishing for my wife. Understand?
A bottom who looks cold and rational on the surface but is gentle inside × an actor top who pretends to be an icy beauty but is actually hopelessly love-brained
1) 【Content warnings first】: When the top and bottom separated, both were responsible. The top was immature, love-brained, selfish, and had an excessively high sex drive; he was not a mature or good partner. The bottom was busy, did not coax him, would not speak his feelings, would not communicate, and indulged the top too much before the divorce. This is a bittersweet second-chance romance. Neither protagonist is perfect. Over the years they correct themselves and work hard to grow. They will only remarry after the real problems have genuinely been solved.
2) The bottom’s leg will recover.
3) The author ships the main couple. Both leads remain exclusive to each other.
4) Please do not map the characters onto real people. There is no need to bring up real actors or anything like that.
5) Some chapters contain on-screen comments. These exist only for plot or atmosphere; the comments and supporting characters do not represent the author’s views.
6) Daily updates after the story goes VIP. Thank you, little angels, for supporting the official version.
Content tags: Devoted Love, Second-Chance Romance, Entertainment Industry, Marriage and Romance, Beautiful-Strong-Tragic, Variety Show
One-sentence summary: aloof criminal-investigator bottom × actor top who puts on an act
Theme: Be persistent for your convictions