Jiang Hengshu gave a soft hum. “Happy New Year.” He did not say anything else.
Fu Zhen felt that Jiang Hengshu had become hateful. Ever since putting on Jiang Hengshu’s trench coat, he had been imagining that perhaps something might happen between them tonight. Unfortunately, nothing happened.
The two of them silently walked into the rental apartment’s living room. The tenants had all gone back to their own rooms to rest. The living room was completely dark, with only a little pale
moonlight shining through the transparent glass window and falling on the coffee table in the center of the room. Their rooms were next to each other. They were about to separate.
Fu Zhen and Jiang Hengshu’s movements were almost identical. They stopped at their respective doors at the same time, took out their keys at the same time, and raised their hands at the same time, preparing to insert their keys into the locks.
“Jiang Hengshu.” But Fu Zhen stopped. He turned and called Jiang Hengshu. Jiang Hengshu turned around and looked at Fu Zhen. “What is it?”
By the faint moonlight, Fu Zhen could see Jiang Hengshu’s calm face clearly. All of a sudden, he could not speak. What should he ask Jiang Hengshu? Ask whether he liked him?
And then?
If Jiang Hengshu denied it, what should he do?
Fu Zhen hesitated again. He was no longer the proud, arrogant, willful young master he had once been.
Perhaps Fu Zhen’s appearance at this moment was too heartbreaking, or perhaps Jiang Hengshu also wanted to do something. Jiang Hengshu held the key in his palm and slowly walked toward Fu Zhen. He lowered his voice and asked beside Fu Zhen’s ear, “What do you want to say?”
Jiang Hengshu’s breath brushed over Fu Zhen’s face. His face instantly flushed red. Moonlight fell behind Jiang Hengshu, while Jiang Hengshu’s face was hidden in darkness, impossible for him to see clearly.
Yet somehow, Fu Zhen had the illusion that Jiang Hengshu had already seen completely through him. Jiang Hengshu knew all his thoughts. Fu Zhen parted his lips, but he did not know how to speak.
The distance between them was very close. Jiang Hengshu’s warmth surrounded him on all sides, as though his whole body had been drawn into Jiang Hengshu’s arms. Fu Zhen clenched both hands into fists, hoping to borrow even a little courage from the movement.
But before he could speak, there was a creak as the door of the room beside them was pushed open from the inside. Fu Zhen was startled. The other person was holding a phone and yawning. As soon as he raised his eyes, he saw Fu Zhen and Jiang Hengshu crowded together in front of the door. He asked, “What are you two doing in the middle of the night instead of sleeping?”
“N-nothing,” Fu Zhen said softly.
The man shook his head, muttered something under his breath, and walked toward the bathroom.
Jiang Hengshu was silent for a while, then said to Fu Zhen, “Let’s talk in your room.”
Fu Zhen hurriedly took out his key, turned, and inserted it into the lock. He pushed open the door to his room and switched on the light. Jiang Hengshu followed behind him.
Fu Zhen’s room was truly too small. Two adult men staying inside felt like two trapped beasts locked inside a cage, with almost no room to move.
“Sit wherever you like.” After Fu Zhen said this, he felt somewhat embarrassed. There seemed to be nowhere in his room to sit except the bed.
Jiang Hengshu sat down by the bed.
“Oh, right.” After being interrupted by that person just now, everything Fu Zhen had wanted to say had slid back down his throat into his stomach. For the moment, he did not have the courage to bring it up again. He turned, picked up Jiang Hengshu’s computer, and brought it to him. “My computer has already been repaired. I’m returning this to you. Thank you so much for
yesterday.”
Jiang Hengshu glanced at it but did not reach out to take it. “I don’t have much use for it. You can keep using it for now.”
“But…” Fu Zhen pressed his lips together. “…Aren’t you going home?”
Jiang Hengshu tilted his head up and looked at Fu Zhen. After a while, he answered, “In a few more days.”
As for exactly how many days, Jiang Hengshu had not decided yet.
Fu Zhen gave a small “oh” and lowered his head. He had long known that Jiang Hengshu would leave one day. His coming to work at the construction site was probably for some other purpose. Fu Zhen placed the computer on Jiang Hengshu’s lap. “I’ll change to another computer in a few days.”
Jiang Hengshu lowered his eyes and glanced at the computer on his lap, then casually placed it on Fu Zhen’s bed. He stood and walked toward Fu Zhen.
Fu Zhen’s back leaned against the somewhat cold wall. He lowered his eyes and looked at the ground beneath his feet. Not long after, a large shadow wrapped around him. Jiang Hengshu was standing right in front of him.
Fu Zhen raised his head to look at him. Under the hazy light, he saw Jiang Hengshu’s jaw with its faint bluish stubble, his high nose bridge, and his blue eyes, deep as the sea. His own reflection was inside them.
Jiang Hengshu’s lips moved slightly. He leaned a little closer to Fu Zhen. Their bodies were almost touching. He asked, “Just now, outside the room, what did you want to say to me?”
Fu Zhen uneasily wanted to step backward, but behind him was the hard wall. He had no room left to retreat.
Try once. Just once. Fu Zhen secretly told himself this in his heart. In any case, Jiang Hengshu was about to leave. Whether he told him now or not, they might never have another chance to meet in the future. That night, he had already missed Jiang Hengshu once. It was Heaven’s pity that allowed them to meet again. He could not leave himself with another regret.
Fu Zhen moved his lips and finally spoke. These were the words he had wanted to tell Jiang Hengshu from the first moment he saw him. He looked into Jiang Hengshu’s eyes, hoping he could see through them into the thoughts in his heart.
Fu Zhen could not see anything.
“I… I like you.”
Fu Zhen finally said those four words. After saying them, he lowered his head, not daring to look at Jiang Hengshu’s expression again.
The two of them fell silent at the same time. Fu Zhen felt a little sorry and hoped his words would not trouble Jiang Hengshu.
If Fu Zhen had raised his head at that moment, he would have seen the tenderness in Jiang Hengshu’s eyes almost overflowing. Under the white light, his sharp features had softened, and his heart brimmed with affection.
“Rest early.” Jiang Hengshu raised his hand and rubbed Fu Zhen’s head.
Fu Zhen thought Jiang Hengshu had rejected him. Jiang Hengshu really was a gentle person. Even when rejecting him, he did not say it outright. Fu Zhen’s nose felt a little sore, but there was nothing to cry about. He breathed out and said to Jiang Hengshu, “I’m sorry for tonight, for troubling you—”
Jiang Hengshu interrupted him. “No.”
No what?
Fu Zhen froze for a moment.
Jiang Hengshu bent down slightly. His lips brushed past Fu Zhen’s pink ear, and his voice was low and hoarse, as if a spring breeze carrying the fragrance of flowers had swept past Fu Zhen’s ear. Fu Zhen heard Jiang Hengshu say to him, “I like you too.”
It was as though a firework exploded with a boom inside Fu Zhen’s mind, then instantly transformed into thousands upon thousands of streams of flame falling down. Fu Zhen did not know where to put his hands or feet. He stared blankly at Jiang Hengshu, feeling that everything happening before his eyes was like a dream.
A blush spread behind Jiang Hengshu’s ears, but when he faced Fu Zhen directly, he still looked calm and composed.
“Good night.” Jiang Hengshu’s fingers brushed over the hair at Fu Zhen’s temple.
Fu Zhen still felt as if he were standing in a dream. He tilted his head up and looked at Jiang Hengshu for a long while, then blinked. Like a child asking for candy, he asked Jiang Hengshu, “Can you kiss me?”
Jiang Hengshu smiled faintly. Then he lowered his head and pressed his lips to Fu Zhen’s forehead. “All right. Sleep early, and have a good dream.”
Until Jiang Hengshu left, Fu Zhen remained dazed. After washing up, he returned to bed and looked at the ceiling above him. He raised his right hand and gently placed it on the spot on his forehead where Jiang Hengshu had kissed him.
The lights in the room had already been switched off, plunging everything into darkness, but Fu Zhen’s eyes were bright. His whole body seemed to be trapped inside a cloud of softness. It was already deep into the night, but he was not the least bit sleepy.
Fu Zhen was not the only one who could not sleep. In the room next door, Jiang Hengshu also could not fall asleep. In front of Fu Zhen, he had always looked calm and unruffled. Only now, when he was alone in his room, did a few different emotions show.
A warm yellow lamp was lit by the head of the bed. He sat on the bed, leaning against the pillow behind him. His usually cold and stern features had softened considerably beneath the lamplight, and there was a faint smile at the corners of his eyes. After thinking for a while, Jiang Hengshu picked up his phone and called Wang Tong.
Wang Tong had only just fallen asleep when Jiang Hengshu’s call woke him. “Boss, what is it? Do you know what time it is?”
“Come out for a meal when you have time.” “What for?” Wang Tong yawned.
“To introduce you to your future sister-in-law.”
“!!!” Wang Tong, who had barely been able to open his eyes just now, instantly lost all sleepiness. He sat up in bed with a start. “Boss, are you sleepwalking right now?”
“No,” Jiang Hengshu said.
“Then am I sleepwalking?” Wang Tong muttered to himself. “Are you coming or not? If not, I’m hanging up.”
Wang Tong still found the whole thing unbelievable and confirmed with Jiang Hengshu again.
“Boss, you really found someone?”
Jiang Hengshu gave a soft hum. It was very brief, but the pleasure in his tone could be heard. Wang Tong rarely heard him speak in that tone.
“Are you free these next few days? I’ll find a time to introduce you.”
Wang Tong agreed at once. “Yes, yes, yes. I absolutely must be free for this.”
After hanging up, a little smile flashed through Jiang Hengshu’s blue eyes. He unlocked his phone, selected a few names from his contacts, and then called several friends with whom he had a fairly good relationship.
“Come out for a meal when you have time. I’ll introduce you to my boyfriend.”
… Chapter 27
The foreman was a real slave driver. Even on New Year’s Day, he did not give the workers a holiday, much less triple pay. Jiang Hengshu planned to quickly wrap up the missing-person case he had been commissioned to investigate, then quit the construction-site job.
Perhaps the foreman also felt a little guilty. No one knew where he had gotten a pile of supermarket shopping cards, but he handed one out to each worker.
Jiang Hengshu casually stuffed the shopping card into his pocket. After the foreman went home, he put down the sandbag and went to the drainage ditch behind the construction site. The area around the ditch was barren. Yellow sand covered the withered grass, and greenish stones stood alone on the opposite bank.
Jiang Hengshu crouched down and reached out to brush aside the weeds before him. Behind him came a faint rustle of footsteps, followed by a man’s deep, hoarse voice asking, “What are you
doing here?”
Jiang Hengshu turned his head and saw the foreman standing behind him, looking down at him from above, a sharp gleam flashing through his murky eyes.
…
Fu Zhen spent the entire day inside his room in the rental apartment, drawing the unfinished draft. By evening, he had finally finished the color illustration for the personal fan book. Looking at the finished work on the screen, he could not help smiling.
He had not completely imitated Picasso’s style. Instead, he had added some of his own creative elements. The figures in the picture were similarly allegorical, but not entirely abstract.
In Guernica, Picasso had only used black, white, and gray tones. Fu Zhen, however, had considered the overall style of the personal fan book and found a point of balance, using some cool-toned colors with a little blood-red in the middle. Unexpectedly, it worked very harmoniously.
He only did not know whether the author would like this style.
With a nervous heart, Fu Zhen sent the finished color illustration to the author. Naturally, he hoped the author would like the work as much as he did. But although the author had previously told him to go ahead boldly, if the author could not accept this style, he could only consider redrawing another piece for them.
It was just that he had already been delayed for several days because of the kidnapping. Now, having wasted so much of the author’s time, he truly felt a little sorry.
Fu Zhen silently sighed. Forget it. He would stop thinking about it for now and wait until the author replied.
Fu Zhen rested against the pillow at the head of the bed and turned his head to look out the window. Tall buildings stood in rows, dusk hung heavy, and orange-red evening clouds dyed the sky as if it were an oil painting. Fu Zhen withdrew his gaze. Even now, he still somewhat doubted whether everything that happened last night had been real, or whether it had all been a dream.
Had Jiang Hengshu truly said those words to him? Fu Zhen lowered his head. His hands twisted together unconsciously. Unfortunately, he had not seen Jiang Hengshu that morning.
He had woken up a little late. By the time he came out of his room, Jiang Hengshu had already gone to work.
Fu Zhen’s phone chimed. It was a reply from the author who had commissioned him. The other party liked Fu Zhen’s color illustration very much and asked whether they could commission three more pieces, one illustration for each story.
Of course Fu Zhen would not refuse. If he drew three more pieces, he should have two thousand yuan coming in. He thought that when the money arrived, he could buy Jiang Hengshu another gift.
When Jiang Hengshu returned to the rental apartment after work, he went back to his room and changed clothes. Then he came out carrying a white plastic bag, walked to Fu Zhen’s door, stopped, and raised his hand to knock twice.
Fu Zhen was reading the outlines for several other stories the author had sent him. The pen in his hand kept recording things. Hearing the knock, he put down the paper and pen in his hands, got up from the bed, and went to the door to open it. Jiang Hengshu was standing outside. Orange-red sunset light fell behind him, while the glass coffee table and the plastic sheet on the floor reflected the light together, like a burning sea of fire.
Jiang Hengshu asked him, “Have you eaten dinner?”
Fu Zhen looked at him without blinking. His right hand, still on the doorknob, pulled the door open a little more. He shook his head and said, “Not yet.”
Just now, he had been thinking about how to draw the next color illustration and had completely forgotten about eating.
Jiang Hengshu lifted the white plastic bag in his hand. Inside were two takeaway containers. He handed it to Fu Zhen. “For you.”
The containers held an order of soup dumplings and a serving of preserved-egg congee. Who knew where Jiang Hengshu had bought them?
Fu Zhen said thank you in a low voice, his ears warming slightly. He accepted the bag Jiang Hengshu handed him and turned sideways. Jiang Hengshu naturally entered his room. The room was still cramped. After two men squeezed inside, even the air seemed to become hot.
Now Fu Zhen could finally be certain that what happened last night had not been a dream. The person you liked happened to like you too. What a wonderful thing that was.
The room light was turned on, instantly driving away the dimness. Fu Zhen placed the food containers on the bedside cabinet. There was only one pair of chopsticks inside, so he bent down like a little hamster and dragged a small box out from under the bed. He opened the lid and took out a pair of disposable chopsticks.
Jiang Hengshu sat to one side and watched him. His legs were very long, stretching slightly forward. Fu Zhen was crouched beside him, his head almost pressed against Jiang Hengshu’s thigh. When Fu Zhen turned his head, his warm breath seemed to pass through the fabric and
reach Jiang Hengshu’s body. Jiang Hengshu’s muscles tightened. His tongue moved once inside his mouth.
On the surface, however, his expression was still calm, his gaze gentle and faintly smiling.
The air in the room seemed to grow even hotter. Outside the building, the north wind blew against the plastic sheets, making them rustle loudly.
Fu Zhen pushed the box back under the bed. He lifted the chopsticks in front of Jiang Hengshu.
“Let’s eat together.”
“I’ve eaten,” Jiang Hengshu shook his head and answered. Otherwise, he would have bought two portions.
Fu Zhen made a small sound of acknowledgment and placed the pair of chopsticks he had just taken out onto the bedside cabinet. He had no experience with dating and could only use his own clumsy, hesitant way to be good to Jiang Hengshu.
Perhaps the word “please” should not be used between lovers. He only hoped that after Jiang Hengshu got together with him, he would be happier than when he was alone.
Fu Zhen picked up a soup dumpling with his chopsticks and brought it to Jiang Hengshu’s mouth. Jiang Hengshu froze for a moment. He had not expected Fu Zhen to do this. Under the light, Fu Zhen’s black eyes were as bright as obsidian, reflecting Jiang Hengshu’s figure within them. Jiang Hengshu opened his mouth and swallowed it in one bite.
Fu Zhen narrowed his eyes. He seemed to be in a very good mood. Sitting beside Jiang Hengshu, he held the preserved-egg congee Jiang Hengshu had brought back, using without any concern the same pair of chopsticks he had just used to feed Jiang Hengshu the soup dumpling.
A strange feeling brushed through Jiang Hengshu’s heart. He tugged at the collar of his sweater and crossed his legs. The air in the room became even more stifling.
Seeing that Fu Zhen seemed to be planning to feed him again, Jiang Hengshu spoke first. “You eat. I won’t have any more.”
The room fell quiet. Only the faint sounds of Fu Zhen chewing beside Jiang Hengshu remained.
Jiang Hengshu raised his head and examined Fu Zhen’s room.
In truth, there was nothing much to look at. Fu Zhen’s room was pitifully small. Apart from a bed, there was no space for any other large furniture. The walls were covered with old, yellowing scratches. Fu Zhen’s sketchbook was placed at the foot of the bed. Jiang Hengshu knew that every page inside was him.
After Fu Zhen finished eating, he was about to tidy up the plastic containers and throw them into the garbage bag by the door, preparing to take them out the next day.
Jiang Hengshu withdrew his gaze and said to him, “Let’s go out for dinner tomorrow.”
“Huh?” Fu Zhen blinked, his movement stopping as well, as if he had not heard Jiang Hengshu clearly.
Jiang Hengshu added calmly, “I’ll introduce you to a few friends.”
Fu Zhen immediately understood what Jiang Hengshu meant. Generally speaking, after most people entered a relationship, they would post a photo together on Moments or Weibo, announcing to those who followed them that they were no longer single. Now Jiang Hengshu wanted to introduce him to his friends, probably out of that same feeling.
Fu Zhen was very happy. This represented Jiang Hengshu’s sincerity, not just a moment of impulse. But immediately afterward, a wave of loss spread through Fu Zhen’s heart.
If he could, he also wanted to introduce Jiang Hengshu to the people he knew well. But it seemed there was no one he needed to tell anymore.
After that incident happened, all his relatives and friends had stood on Tang Wanwan’s side, accusing him of not using such a cruel method against a girl—especially when that girl was his younger half-sister from the same father.
At that time, the conflict between him and Tang Wanwan had already reached a boiling point. Just after Tang Wanwan and Qin Zhao had joined hands to teach him a lesson, Fu Jianchen and Fu Ting’s unconditional protection of Tang Wanwan had enraged him again. So he had wanted to give Tang Wanwan a small lesson. He had no idea how the plot had developed from there, but later it somehow became that he was vicious and ruthless, wanting Tang Wanwan to fall from the wire rig and become disabled.
In the end, the person who truly became disabled was himself.
But what was the point of mentioning these things now? It would only add to his troubles.
Later, Fu Zhen often thought that perhaps he truly was not as lovable as Tang Wanwan. That was why, after that incident happened, everyone left him.
Now, he finally had his own life. He could be considered to have walked out little by little from the shadow of that incident. One day, all those people from the past would be sealed away by him inside a distant box of memories, and when he grew old, they would be buried with him in the soil.
Jiang Hengshu noticed the change in Fu Zhen’s mood. He did not speak. He only quietly looked at him. After Fu Zhen’s emotions gradually settled, he asked, “Will you go?”
Fu Zhen nodded. “I’ll go.”
He put the garbage by the door and stood in front of Jiang Hengshu, lowering his head to look at the man sitting on his bed. Things far more intimate had once happened between them, but at this moment, Fu Zhen still felt his face grow a little warm.
The light from the incandescent bulb above their heads was not exactly soft. Fu Zhen’s shadow fell over Jiang Hengshu’s body. Jiang Hengshu raised his head, and their gazes tangled together. Fu Zhen was like someone bewitched by the witch’s red apple, taking two steps forward.
Jiang Hengshu’s legs were spread slightly apart. Fu Zhen stood between them, raising both hands and resting them on Jiang Hengshu’s shoulders.
And then? What should he do? Fu Zhen pressed his lips together. He himself was not sure. He could only look into Jiang Hengshu’s blue crystal-like eyes.