Myuze and I had become engaged when we were ten years old.
It was a political engagement born from the overlapping interests of the ducal House Lambest and my own marquess family.
Our first meeting had been awful. Myuze wore a sullen expression, made no attempt to hide his displeasure, and said almost nothing. One look at him had made me think, This engagement is never going to work.
At the time, the memories of my previous life had not yet returned, but apparently I had inherited much of my old personality anyway.
I possessed neither the arrogance of the stereotypical villainess from the game nor the spoiled entitlement so common among nobles. By the standards of my previous life, I had been a fairly ordinary child—and by the standards of this world, a remarkably un-noble one.
"Get along with him," Father had told me.
But Myuze only seemed to glare at me. He ignored me whenever I tried to speak to him, sitting beside him was painfully dull, and all I could do was sigh.
With nothing better to do, I picked up a twig and began drawing pictures in the dirt by myself.
I hummed as I drew dogs, cats, and birds, until a shadow suddenly stretched across the ground behind me.
I kept drawing without paying it any mind.
"…What are you drawing?" a voice asked.
"Can't you tell? This is a dog, this one is a cat, and this is a bird!"
"…Aren't you unbelievably bad at drawing?"
"…So what?! I'm having fun!"
"Fun?"
"Yes, fun! Much more fun than sitting around doing nothing with you."
Even though I had apparently carried over much of my previous personality, I was still the daughter of a marquess. I had grown up more assertive and sharper-tongued than my former self.
So when he asked, I said exactly what I thought.
"I can't help it if you don't like me! This is a political marriage anyway! But that doesn't mean I have to enjoy sitting beside someone who does nothing but glare at me and ignores me whenever I speak to him! You can do whatever you want! I'll do whatever I want too!"
Myuze's eyes widened for just a moment. Then his expression flattened again.
"…I'm not glaring at you."
"If that's what you look like when you're not glaring, then your eyes are terrifyingly sharp."
"…I'm not ignoring you either."
"You don't even answer me when I speak to you."
"…I don't know what I'm supposed to say."
"…Are you just bad at communicating?"
"…I don't know."
After that conversation, we gradually grew closer.
I discovered that he was an exceptionally talented artist, and when I showered him with praise, he began painting a portrait of me every year for my birthday.
We ended up building a surprisingly good relationship.
He had always been exactly my type on a genetic level, so his looks were a direct hit from the very beginning. Once we actually started talking, I realized he wasn't a bad person at all, and before I knew it, I genuinely liked him.
I had no idea how he felt about me.
Still, I assumed he must at least like me somewhat if he went to the trouble of painting and gifting me portraits every year.
And then, two months ago, we crossed the line.
We had gone for a long ride on Myuze's horse when a sudden downpour caught us on the way home. We took shelter in a small cabin and ended up spending the night there together.
To dry our drenched clothes, we stripped down to our undergarments. There was only one blanket in the cabin, so we wrapped ourselves in it together for warmth.
Every brush of skin made my heart race.
Every slight movement from Myuze sent it leaping into my throat.
I had been so nervous that I couldn't even remember what we talked about.
Then, in one fleeting moment, our eyes met.
His gaze was so intensely heated that my whole body seemed to catch fire.
Even now, remembering Myuze that night was enough to make my heart pound.
The firelight made his ice-blue hair look many times more seductive than usual. His blue eyes, normally so cold, were unmistakably filled with desire.
"I love you… I'm in love with you."
After a stretch of silence, those words left me floating on air.
"I love you too."
At my answer, Myuze smiled with such tender softness that my heart skipped.
"That's the first time you've ever said it to me, Ferry… I love you, my dearest."
Before I knew it, I had entrusted myself to him.
"No matter what happens, I won't let you go… Don't ever leave me."
Myuze was normally a man of few words, so every declaration of love that fell from his lips was unbearably sweet.
I drowned in them.
And that was how I ended up pregnant.
That blissful night from before my memories returned now felt almost unreal.
At present, my mind was in full-blown panic—What am I supposed to do? What can I possibly do now?—but if anyone started questioning me, I wouldn't know how to answer, so I was pretending to be asleep.
It was nothing more than an escape from reality.
But after realizing that I was a woman destined to be abandoned in the future, I had no idea what I was supposed to do from here on out.
Surely I was allowed this much avoidance.
Knock, knock, knock.
I heard someone knocking on the door, but I continued pretending to sleep.
"Ferry? Are you asleep?"
My heart jumped at the familiar voice, one I had known in both my previous and current lives.
Of course it did. In my previous life, I had been a hardcore Myuze devotee.
That low, beautiful voice was enough to get someone pregnant all by itself—well, I was already pregnant, but still.
Even with my eyes closed, there was no mistaking Myuze's voice.
Footsteps sounded through the quiet room, and I sensed someone approaching, but I wanted to keep hiding from reality a little longer, so I stubbornly kept my eyes shut.
"Ferry…"
His large hand stroked my hair.
Myuze—the Myuze who had been my ultimate favorite in my previous life—was stroking my hair!
We had already done something far more incredible than this, yet the mere reality of him touching my hair sent my heart racing.
"Ferry…you're awake, aren't you?"
"…………"
"Your face is completely red… You're far too cute."
The words far too cute coming from his mouth were so shocking that my eyes flew open.
He hadn't even said anything like that during our night in the cabin.
The destructive power of those words was simply too much.
I opened my eyes before I could stop myself and found Myuze watching me with an incredibly gentle smile.
"Good morning, Ferry."
"…Good morning."
"How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?"
"I'm…fine."
"Marquess Romanna told me. We're going to have a child, aren't we?"
The words dragged me instantly back down from the clouds.
Myuze smiled gently at me.
"You don't have to be frightened."
"We'll need to hold the wedding before your stomach begins to show… No, would it be better to wait until after the baby is born? Imagine having the ceremony with our child there. Wouldn't that be unbelievably happy? At the very least we should complete the legal paperwork as soon as possible so we can officially become husband and wife, and then—"
"U-um, Lord Myuze?"
"Ah. Right. Sorry. I got carried away."
"Carried…away?"
"Of course. Our child is inside you, isn't it? How could I possibly not be excited?"
"You're…happy about it?"
"Naturally. It's my child with the woman I love."
I see.
So right now…he loves me.
A strange wave of emotion surged through my chest.
And at the same time, I remembered that the game was supposed to begin tomorrow.
Fear rushed in immediately.
TRUE LOVER: The Beautiful Maiden and Five Knights.
That was the romance game in which Myuze and the current me appeared.
The story began when the heroine, a commoner adopted by a noble family, transferred into the academy midway through the year.
There were five romance targets, Myuze included: the crown prince, the future prime minister, the future knight commander, and the heroine's childhood friend.
Myuze, also known as the Ice Nobleman, was breathtakingly beautiful—practically beauty given human form—but so expressionless that his route was difficult to complete.
I had loved him anyway.
The game never gave an exact calendar date for when the story began, so I couldn't be completely certain, but there was a scene in the opening where the heroine murmured, "Last night's meteor shower was beautiful."
Once the game began, Myuze would probably become attracted to the heroine.
Could I really endure having no choice but to watch that happen?
That was what I had been worrying about.
And yet, instead, I ended up staying home from the academy for an entire week.
My parents and Myuze all insisted that it was better to be overly cautious.
The day after I collapsed, Myuze and his parents came to our estate to apologize.
"We are deeply sorry for the terrible thing our foolish son has done."
From there the conversation immediately turned to registering our marriage.
Myuze passionately declared, "I want us legally married as soon as possible! We can hold the ceremony after the birth and include our child!"
His intensity left everyone around him stunned.
Apparently he already had the entire wedding planned out in his head.
His mother, Lady Sena, gave a helpless smile.
"Honestly…he's always like this when it comes to Ferry."
Then she glanced at her husband, Lord Chris.
"At times like this, I really can see that you're father and son."
Chris's usual stern expression instantly flushed bright red, and he began to fluster.
It was such a rare sight that I felt privileged just to witness it.
Apparently Chris and Sena had married after a passionate romance of their own.
"You'd never guess it from that permanently grumpy face of his," Sena said with a laugh, "but he was so ridiculously invested in our wedding that he changed so much I kept thinking, Who is this man?"
And so, three days after discovering my pregnancy, Myuze and I officially became husband and wife.
For the sake of my health, I would attend the academy only as much as absolutely necessary.
At first everyone strongly urged me to withdraw and focus entirely on preparing for the birth, but I was only a little over half a year away from graduation.
With all my uncertainty about the future, I stubbornly insisted that I at least wanted to finish school.
We decided to hold the wedding one year after the baby was born, combining it with the child's formal introduction to society.
"If the baby can walk by the time of the ceremony, I want the two of us to enter while holding our child's hands."
"It would also be nice to carry our child in."
"We'll have to plan carefully so the baby doesn't get tired."
"Ah… Just imagining Ferry and our child together makes me so happy I feel like I'm going to lose my mind."
It took everything I had not to blurt out, Who are you?
This man was nothing like the usually silent and expressionless Myuze I knew.
He was entirely different even from the expressions he'd shown the heroine in the game.
It was as if his entire personality had transformed.
Myuze placed a hand over my still-flat stomach and smiled so brightly and happily that I could only think, Seriously, who are you?
While I was away from the academy, Myuze took leave as well and came to my family's estate every single day.
"Let's start living together as soon as possible."
He kept trying to persuade me, until we eventually decided that on the night I returned to school, I would move into Myuze's home and begin living with him as his wife.
Sena had said, "All kinds of things can happen to a woman's body before childbirth. Ferry might feel more secure giving birth in the home she's used to."
But Myuze insisted, "We're already husband and wife. I don't want to be apart from her for even a moment."
His possessiveness had become so intense that I genuinely wondered whether the Ice Nobleman character had already completely collapsed.
"I would never make Ferry feel unsafe! Live with me."
He passionately asked me again and again.
I know I've said this before, but seriously—who are you?
In the game, raising Myuze's affection was painfully difficult.
Only near the end of his route would he finally begin to smile. Once his affection reached the maximum level, the story entered his doting-love route.
Even then, he was far less expressive than he was now, and he was fundamentally a man of remarkably few words.
But the Myuze in front of me was more expressive and talkative than even his max-affection game version.
Seriously. Who are you?
What happened?
Was it because we were having a baby?
Part of me thought maybe this world was simply different.
Another part of me wondered whether it was only because he had not met the heroine yet.
Either way, the closer my return to the academy drew, the heavier my heart became.
When we returned to the academy after a week away, naturally we arrived together.
The stairs were apparently far too dangerous for my absurdly overprotective husband.
"What if you fall or trip?!"
He carried me up in his arms.
In the classroom, he sat right beside me and remained practically glued to my side.
The heroine had already transferred in.
Since she was in our class, I recognized her immediately.
When she saw Myuze and me together, her eyes opened so wide that I thought they might fall out.
That reaction made me wonder if she might also be reincarnated.
Apparently the heroine's name was Lilin Negan.
I hadn't known that in my previous life because I always replaced her name with my own real name whenever I played.
She looked exactly as she had in the game.
Soft, pale-orange hair.
Adorable red eyes like strawberry candies.
Fine, clear white skin.
Cheeks faintly tinted pink.
Plump, glossy lips.
She was the very definition of a heroine.
Myuze remained attached to me and didn't spare her so much as a glance.
She, meanwhile, seemed to have already approached the crown prince and the others, and her sense of personal space was bizarre.
She had linked her arm through the visibly troubled crown prince's and was gazing up at him coyly.
The behavior was so unlike the heroine I remembered from the game that all I felt was discomfort.
But if she was a reincarnated person, it made considerably more sense.
"Lady Ferry Romanna, may I speak with you for a moment?"
Lilin approached me precisely when Myuze had gone to the restroom.
At an angle only I could see, she wore a frightening expression, her brows drawn tightly together.
If I'd known her in my previous life, she was exactly the sort of person I would never have befriended.
I was used to the subtle warfare of noble society, but I had always hated women who acted sweet in front of men and transformed completely in front of other women.
Something told me Lilin was that type.
"What is it? Um…you are the transfer student…"
"Oh! Lilin! Lilin Negan!"
Of course I knew her name, but since this was supposedly our first meeting, I played dumb.
Her voice was as cute and pleasant as I remembered from the game.
"I believe this is the first time we've properly met. What business do you have with me?"
"Um, there's something I'd like to talk to you about."
"What are you doing?"
Myuze returned while we were talking and addressed Lilin in an icy voice.
"What do you want with my wife?"
The word wife sent a ripple through the entire classroom.
Lilin stared at Myuze in textbook astonishment.
"Um…unless I heard you wrong, I could have sworn you just said 'wife'?"
"I did. Ferry is my wife. Now then, what business do you have with my wife, transfer student?"
His stare and voice were so cold that Absolute-Zero Nobleman might have suited him better than Ice Nobleman.
The look he gave her was freezing and distinctly wary.
"Why is the Ice Nobleman married?!"
"Hmph… The Ice Nobleman, is it? Now, what do you want with my wife? Surely you're not about to spout some ridiculous nonsense about wanting me for yourself."
"Why… No way… What's going on?"
"My wife is in a delicate condition. I don't know what you want, but if you harbor any improper intentions, I will not allow you anywhere near her again."
"Lord Myuze…that's…"
"I don't recall giving you permission to call me by name. The only one allowed to address me that way is my beloved Ferry."
"No… Why? My…favorite…"
She was definitely reincarnated or something similar.
People in this world didn't use words like favorite in that sense. They probably wouldn't even understand it.
I almost felt sorry for her.
Almost.
But Myuze's child was already growing inside me.
Heroine or not, I had no intention of simply handing him over.
Besides, Myuze didn't seem interested in her at all.
If anything, he looked as though he had already classified her as an enemy.
That was something I was allowed to be happy about, wasn't it?
"Ferry, you've attended every class you need today. Let's go home."
"What? But don't you still have classes you need to take, Myuze?"
"Me? I've already obtained confirmation that as long as I score well enough on the examinations, I can graduate. I'm only attending because you have classes. Strictly speaking, I don't need to come at all."
My husband had just casually dropped something incredible.
"Come. Let's go home."
I took the hand he offered me.
Myuze's expression softened into a gentle smile.
He almost never smiled, so the classroom erupted into murmurs again.
Lilin stood frozen, her eyes and mouth wide open.
Only a handful of people knew that Myuze and I had married.
I hadn't intended to announce it myself.
Apparently Myuze had never planned to hide it.
Inside the carriage he looked strangely proud as he said, "Of course I told them. Now I can drive away any annoying pests who try to get close to Ferry."
I couldn't help laughing.
"Ferry…starting today, we'll finally be living together."
The heat in his eyes as he said it nearly sent my soul straight out of my body.
Starting tonight, my home would be the same as Myuze's.
My heart had already begun pounding before our carriage even reached the Lambest estate.
Sena was such a kind person that I knew she wasn't going to mistreat me, but nervousness was nervousness.
"You don't need to be so tense. My parents have been looking forward to having you here."
Easy for him to say.
When we arrived at the Lambest estate, Sena and the family's butler, Roberto, came out to greet us.
"Thank you for having me from today onward. I may be inexperienced, but I hope you'll take good care of me."
"I've been waiting for you! Welcome, Ferry! Ahhh! I thought it would be ages before you actually lived here, so I'm thrilled you've come so soon!"
"Mother…"
Myuze pressed two fingers to his temple as he watched Sena celebrate.
"Now, now! Standing around chatting out here isn't good for you! We've prepared a feast tonight as a welcome party for Ferry! Oh! But first I have to show you your room!"
"Mother…I'll show her. Please, just stop talking for a moment."
"What?! Is that any way to speak to your own mother?"
"If you're my mother, then please behave like one."
As that exchange probably made clear, Sena was an extremely cheerful, entertaining person.
She was forty years old—though it was apparently a secret that I knew, because she didn't want people knowing her age—and yet she had the liveliness of a young girl.
She looked so youthful that no one would have guessed she had a grown son.
But she was still the mother of the Ice Nobleman.
In high society, all that bubbly energy vanished beneath a slightly unapproachable air, and she was a woman people treated with considerable respect.
My room turned out to be Myuze's room.
Not a separate bedroom linked to his by an inner door.
Apparently it had been decided from the start that I would live in his room with him.
The room beside his—the one that should have become mine—had instead been converted into storage and a dressing room.
A massive king-sized bed occupied the back of Myuze's room.
With absolutely no embarrassment, Myuze gave me a refreshing smile.
"We're married now. Of course we'll sleep together."
"Then where am I supposed to change clothes?"
"Here is fine. I don't mind."
"I do. That's…a little embarrassing."
"Mmm… Then you can change in the next room."
Wait.
Did he just go mmm?
What was that?!
That was ridiculously cute!
I was going to get a nosebleed!
"…Normally, wouldn't the room next door become mine?"
"…We don't have to be normal."
Myuze looked mildly sulky.
He was so adorable I nearly collapsed.
This was more precious than every event illustration I had desperately collected in the game!
Too precious!
Myuze was so precious it physically hurt.
Dinner was lavish.
My morning sickness was mild, but rich foods didn't appeal to me much at the moment.
Sena, however, had given birth herself and understood perfectly.
Alongside the feast, she had arranged plenty of light dishes that were still highly nutritious.
"Thank you for being so considerate, Lady Sena."
"Oh, Ferry! At this point, you're supposed to call me Mother! You can even call me Mama or Mommy! Apparently people do that in foreign countries!"
"M-Mama?! Mother, have you lost your mind?"
"Oh, no! I absolutely do not want you calling me that, Myuze! But I'd love it from Ferry!"
What a cheerful mother-in-law I had acquired…
Beside Sena, Chris ate silently with his usual stern expression.
Only his ears were red.
"He may look grumpy, but he's enjoying himself. See? His ears are red. Whenever he's happy, they turn completely red."
"…………"
Chris's ears turned even brighter.
Apparently he was surprisingly cute.
"…You may also call me Father…or Papa…"
"Father… Papa is going too far."
Agreed.
Papa was definitely too much.
Our welcome dinner remained bright and cheerful from beginning to end.
"Come, Ferry. Shall we go to bed?"
Myuze sat on the bed in his nightclothes, radiating such intense sensuality that my knees nearly gave out.
He had opened his arms as though waiting to welcome me into them.
"Ferry!"
He immediately rushed over, caught me firmly, and swept me into his arms before carrying me to the bed.
Naturally, it was a full princess carry.
When he'd carried me on the stairs, I had been terrified and instinctively clung to him.
This time I had a little more composure.
That only meant I was fully aware of just how extravagant it was to be carried like a princess by him, and my heart was pounding hard enough to break.
When I cautiously looked up, his expression was so gentle and peaceful that my chest squeezed.
Worse, he'd just bathed. He smelled wonderful and his sex appeal was off the charts.
I felt dizzy.
"Ferry?"
Our gazes met.
His eyes softened affectionately, and his mouth curved into a smile.
"Haah…!"
The embarrassing little sound slipped out before I could stop it.
Myuze's eyes widened for an instant.
"Please make sounds like that only when you're with me."
He lightly bumped his forehead against mine, then pulled away.
What kind of reward was that supposed to be?!
Now that I remembered he'd been my ultimate favorite, every one of his actions felt like a reward.
A princess carry and then a forehead touch?
My brain was going to short-circuit from excessive fan service.
"Wait…could this be the doting-love route?"
Myuze caught the words I'd muttered under my breath.
"Doting love… That doesn't sound bad."
He smiled.
After laying me on the bed, he stretched out beside me as though it were the most natural thing in the world and wrapped me in his arms.
"Ferry is really here…inside my arms."
His voice trembled slightly.
My heart would not stop fluttering.
"Once you reach the stable period…I'll be gentle."
He said it from so close, his eyes burning with heat, that I thought my soul might leave my body.
"You're so soft, Ferry."
His hand glided slowly over my back.
It tickled, and when I squirmed, his arm tightened, drawing me flush against him.
My cheek rested against Myuze's chest.
His heartbeat thundered directly into my ear.
It was so fast that I let out a surprised, "Huh?"
"What is it?" he whispered by my ear.
Shivering at the sensation, I answered, "Your heart is beating so fast."
Myuze laughed.
"I'm holding the woman I love. Of course it is."
Then he kissed the top of my head.
"The woman…you love…"
"Ferry…do you still doubt my love? I've told you again and again. You're the only woman I love. From now on, I intend to make sure you understand that thoroughly for yourself, so prepare yourself."
The words struck like an explosive reward.
I nearly lost consciousness.
Instead, the warmth of another body gradually lulled me to sleep, and when I opened my eyes again, it was morning.
The first thing I saw was Myuze's chest directly in front of my face.
Needless to say, I nearly fainted all over again.
After pulling myself together, I looked up at him.
He was sleeping peacefully.
The sight was so divine that this time I nearly got a nosebleed.
All five romance targets in True Lover—Tru-Love for short—were handsome in their own ways, but Myuze possessed an almost supernatural beauty.
The crown prince was a perfectly balanced handsome man, dignified but with a touch of cuteness.
The future prime minister had an intelligent air, drooping eyes, and a sparkly idol-like sort of beauty.
The future knight commander had an adorably crooked canine tooth when he smiled, but his face itself was rugged and masculine.
The childhood friend looked harmless at first glance, like a sweet puppy, but he had the terrifying hidden setting of becoming an underworld boss if he fell into darkness.
So behind the puppy-like appearance lurked something pitch-black in his eyes.
And Myuze—naturally—had the beauty of a perfectly honed blade.
Yes, I was horribly biased.
But when he became affectionate, he was cute.
His sulky face had absurd destructive power.
His smile was exquisite.
He was perfect!
So perfect I genuinely couldn't find a flaw.
In reality, the crown prince had been the number-one fan favorite.
Myuze's popularity never rose as high because players complained, "His affection is way too hard to raise, lol," and "Getting him to smile is exhausting."
But in my heart he had been number one by a ridiculous margin.
Once, a possessive fan on a game forum had told me, "Myuze belongs to me and me alone!"
It was a nostalgic memory now.
I had never been the type to resent other fans for liking the same character.
But at this point, I had no intention of sharing Myuze with anyone.
Naturally, that included the heroine.
If Myuze actually fell in love with her, there would be nothing I could do.
Until that happened, though, I wanted to stay by his side.
I would make an effort too.
Absolutely.
There was only one problem.
In my previous life, I had been so obsessed with the fictional character Myuze that I had shown absolutely no interest in real-world romance.
So I had no idea how to keep a partner from getting bored of me, or how to make someone love me even more.
Was my future going to be harder than I thought?
For now, though, I wanted permission to stop worrying and simply enjoy Myuze's impossibly beautiful sleeping face.
The pale morning light falling across him made his expression look peaceful and almost sacred.
If someone had told me, Here lies the pinnacle of beauty, I would have nodded enthusiastically.
This man was my husband in this life.
How much virtue had I accumulated in my previous life to deserve this?
…No matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn't remember accumulating any virtue whatsoever.
I was happier than if I'd won first prize in the lottery.
Wait.
Was I going to die young?
Was that it?
"Mmm…"
A strangely sensual breathy sound escaped him, and Myuze slowly opened his eyes.
"…Good morning, Ferry."
"Good morning, Myuze."
His hand gently caressed my cheek.
The sight of me undoubtedly turning bright red made him smile softly.
"Waking up and seeing Ferry's face immediately… It feels like a reward."
No, no. I'm the one being excessively rewarded here!
"Just a little longer…stay like this."
He wrapped me completely in his arms.
I was basking in happiness, listening to his heartbeat, when someone knocked on the door and called from outside.
"Good morning, Lord Myuze, Lady Ferry."
"If you've come to help us dress, come back a little later."
"Understood."
After dismissing the servant, Myuze slowly stroked my hair with a blissful expression.
"Myuze…"
"…Ferry…when are you finally going to call me simply Myuze?"
"What? W-well, that feels far too presumptuous…"
"From now on, every time you call me Lord Myuze, perhaps I'll have to punish you."
His mischievous smile was wonderful too.
"Punish me?"
"Yes. For example…like this."
His lips met mine.
This was supposed to be punishment?!
It was an extraordinary reward!
"I…don't think that counts as punishment."
"Not when we're alone, perhaps. But what if I did it in front of other people?"
"I-in front of people?! Absolutely not! You can't!"
Kissing in public?
What kind of humiliation play was that?!
"Then call me Myuze."
"…I'll do my best."
"You're too formal with me as well. You may speak casually to me. Come now, call me Myuze."
"M-Myuze."
"Yes. That's nice."
You're what's nice! I wanted to shout.
After spending a while longer enjoying an unbearably sweet morning in bed, I washed my face with water prepared at just the right temperature.
Then Myuze gently wiped my face for me.
"Y-you don't have to do that!"
"I want to. Don't worry about it."
How was I supposed not to?!
"I'd like to get dressed now."
"Hm? Of course. I'll help."
"What?!"
"It's a husband's duty to adorn his wife beautifully!"
"That is not what that expression means!"
"Close enough."
We argued back and forth, but Myuze refused to yield even a single step.
In the end, I was dressed by Myuze himself.
It was unbearably embarrassing, yet he looked deeply satisfied and gave me a dazzling smile.
"All that practice paid off. I still can't arrange your hair or apply cosmetics, but eventually I'll master those as well."
"M-Myuze? What exactly are you trying to become?"
"The perfect husband!"
"Normal husbands don't do any of this!"
"I don't care about being normal!"
Why did he look so proud?!
The proud expression was ridiculously handsome too, but still!
There was absolutely no way I was imagining how far Myuze had strayed from his game characterization.
Not that I disliked this version.
In fact, he was wonderful and I loved him far too much.
But…was this really fine?
Later, when my maid came to style my hair and apply my makeup, Myuze watched every movement closely.
"Hm."
"I see."
He even moved his hands through the air as if rehearsing each step.
Seriously, what had happened to Myuze?
After being bombarded with far too many intense rewards all morning, I rode that momentum straight to the academy with Myuze for second period.
As expected, he carried me up the stairs in his arms.
In the classroom he sat beside me as though that were obvious.
And rather than paying attention to the teacher, he spent the lesson staring only at me.
His gaze was impossible to ignore.
Hasn't your character changed way too much?!
I wanted to scream it.
I had absolutely no idea why he doted on me this much.
The Ferry from the game and the current me were essentially different people.
But even so, I couldn't think of anything I'd done to deserve this level of devotion.
Was it really possible for him to love me more than the heroine from the game?
"Myuze…I can't concentrate when you stare at me like that."
"Don't mind me."
How could I not?!
It would be stranger if I could ignore it!
I felt someone else's gaze and looked over.
The heroine, who had successfully secured the seat beside the future prime minister today, met my eyes.
She was glaring ferociously.
From her perspective, I was probably the hateful woman who had stolen the man she was supposed to end up with.
But she was already guarding the seat beside the prime minister and she still wanted Myuze too?!
Hadn't she been clinging to the crown prince yesterday?
Tru-Love did not have a reverse-harem route.
At the beginning, the player selected one romance target and focused entirely on pursuing that character.
Depending on the player's choices, the route ended in one of four ways: Normal, Bad, Happy, or True.
I had chosen Myuze and only Myuze.
Never once had I strayed.
I had seen every ending and unlocked every event illustration.
Even after that, I kept diving into the game world every single day because I wanted to see Myuze again.
So I knew nothing about the other characters' routes.
Even now that I had reincarnated into this world, I had no interest in them.
I had, however, been curious whether Myuze appeared in other routes and whether a reverse-harem ending existed.
So I had checked spoiler-filled game forums.
That was how I knew there was no reverse-harem route and that Myuze never appeared in the other characters' stories.
Oh, right.
It was on one of those forums that some possessive fan who couldn't tolerate anyone sharing her favorite had practically denied my right to exist.
I wasn't that kind of fan.
My view had always been that the Myuze inside my own game console belonged to me, while the Myuze someone else had nurtured in their own game belonged to them.
So I'd been genuinely taken aback by how viciously she'd attacked me.
The heroine continued glaring at me until the teacher called her out, at which point she finally faced forward.
At lunch, the crown prince summoned Myuze.
The moment he was gone, the heroine—Lilin—approached me.
"Lady Ferry, may we talk for a moment?"
I was sitting in a gazebo in the back garden, and there was no one else around.
I didn't want anything to do with her, honestly.
But if I ran away now, she would probably keep trying, so I decided to hear her out.
"What is it?"
When I answered, Lilin sat down beside me.
"Hey! What do you mean the villainess is already married?!"
The voice she used was filled with nothing but fury.
Her expression was so vicious that she didn't resemble a heroine in the slightest.
At this point, wasn't it impossible to tell which one of us was supposed to be the villainess?
"The…villainess?"
"Don't play dumb! You're reincarnated too, aren't you?!"
"Reincarnated?"
Playing dumb was obviously my only option.
"I genuinely don't understand what you're talking about. Tru-Love? Pursuing someone?"
"Oh, seriously, cut it out! Why are you married to my Myuze?! No way! Absolutely no way!"
"…Since when did Lord Myuze belong to you?"
Her words irritated me enough that it slipped out.
"Huh?! From the beginning, obviously! This world exists for me! I'm the heroine! So Myuze belongs to me! He isn't yours!"
"I don't understand your logic."
"Seriously, enough! You stole someone else's man and now you're pretending you don't know anything? That's insane!"
Yeah. No. I really couldn't stand this person.
She was exactly the type I hated.
"Just divorce him already, would you? Otherwise I can't proceed with Myuze's route! If you're the villainess, then act like one and get miserably condemned!"
"…I fail to see why I should divorce my husband for your sake."
"Are you stupid? Is there even a brain inside your skull?! You're the villainess, so obviously you're supposed to hand the romance targets over to me, the heroine! How can you not understand that?!"
"…I find your reasoning very difficult to comprehend."
No. Just no.
Her personality was awful.
"Anyway, just disappear already! Your very existence annoys me! You're in the way! You're an eyesore! This is ridiculous!"
Déjà vu struck me.
The possessive fan who refused to share her favorite had said exactly the same things to me.
Don't tell me…was that her?
"If Myuze himself asked me, I would consider it. But no matter what you say, I have no intention of leaving him!"
"This is seriously impossible!"
I saw Lilin raise a hand to slap me, so I curled inward protectively around my stomach.
But the blow never came.
When I cautiously looked up, I saw that her raised wrist had been firmly caught by Lord Marion Gruger, the future knight commander.
"Are you all right, Lady Ferry?"
"Yes, I'm fine… Thank you."
"L-let go of me! You misunderstood!"
"I heard you arguing and came over, but I never imagined I'd find you trying to strike a pregnant woman!"
"P-pregnant?! Pregnant—what?! She's pregnant?!"
"I'll be reporting this to Myuze!"
"W-wait! Wait a second! What?! She's pregnant?! What? Report me?! No! Why?! Why?!"
"I'm sorry, Lady Lilin…but under the circumstances, I must refuse what you asked of me earlier."
"Pregnant… You're lying… Myuze wasn't supposed to have his first time until three years after graduation, after the wedding…"
Oh.
Right.
There had been something like that in the bonus disc's epilogue.
Why had I completely forgotten?
After the condemnation scene at the graduation party, the heroine and Myuze steadily nurtured their love and married three years later.
Naturally, their wedding night followed the ceremony.
Myuze, overflowing with sensuality, embraced the heroine and murmured, "Do you know how long I've waited for this day?" Their shadows overlapped as the night deepened…something like that.
I'd already experienced a night far more intense than the one shown in the bonus disc.
And I was pregnant because of it.
Leaving Lilin standing there in stunned devastation, Marion escorted me back to the classroom while staying protectively at my side.
She still hadn't returned when fifth period began.
Just before lunch ended, Myuze came running back.
His face had gone terribly pale.
"Ferry! Are you hurt anywhere? Are you all right?"
He must have heard what happened with Lilin.
Was it inappropriate that I found his childlike panic adorable?
"I'm fine. We only talked a little."
"I heard that transfer student nearly hit you!"
"She didn't actually hit me, so I'm fine."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there with you."
Even though we were in the middle of the classroom, Myuze wrapped his arms around me from behind.
The girls around us squealed.
I was happy, but even more than that, I was so embarrassed I wanted to burrow underground.
"Everyone is watching…"
"Let them watch if they want."
His arms tightened around me, and when he kissed the crown of my head, the girls' squeals grew even louder.
I could even hear the boys shouting deep, enthusiastic "Ooooh!"s.
"I'm so glad you're safe… If anything happened to you, Ferry, I couldn't go on living."
I laughed softly. "You're exaggerating."
"I'm not. I mean it."
My eyes met those of the girl sitting in front of us.
She was Lady Aliza Zabo, daughter of a viscount, just like Lilin.
She was watching us with the dreamy expression of a girl lost in romance.
"Wonderful."
I could tell that was what her lips formed.
I discreetly looked around the room.
Most of the girls were gazing at us with dreamy eyes.
When I listened carefully, I heard whispers of "How lovely," "I'm so jealous," and "It's like a scene from a romance story."
The finishing blow was one girl saying, "Lady Ferry really is deeply loved," followed by many murmurs of agreement.
So it really did look like he loved me…
Maybe I wasn't imagining it after all.
I'd felt like he loved me before, but I hadn't been confident.
Whenever he was this sweet to me, my thoughts tended to dissolve and I stopped thinking too deeply about anything.
If everyone else could see it too, then maybe I was allowed to believe it.
Part of me still feared he'd only married me out of responsibility because I was pregnant.
I couldn't entirely erase the thought that once the heroine appeared, he'd eventually abandon me.
But maybe…
Maybe I could have just a little confidence.
"Myuze…I love you."
"?!"
He caught my tiny whisper perfectly.
His eyes widened and his face flushed red.
He was unbearably precious.
"I love you too."
We were in the middle of the classroom, yet his lips met mine.
Cheers erupted from boys and girls alike.
"W-wait! The kissing!"
"Hm. You called me Lord Myuze. This is your punishment."
His lips met mine again and immediately pulled away.
"Twice?!"
"That's your reward for being honest."
Yes, it was definitely a reward, but did he really need to do it here?!
Apparently Myuze's character collapse was proceeding beautifully.
After fifth period, while we were preparing to leave, Lilin returned to the classroom.
Her hair and face were a mess.
She no longer looked remotely like a heroine.
"Transfer student!"
Myuze's cold voice made her flinch.
"Myuze…leave it."
"No! She may try to hurt you again!"
"She probably won't."
Lilin looked at him with a pale face, all the force gone from her eyes.
"If you ever do anything to Ferry again, I'll crush you with everything I have."
Now that Myuze had completely marked Lilin as an enemy, I actually felt a little sorry for her.
On the carriage ride home, Myuze sat me on his lap and kept me wrapped in his arms the entire way.
"Are you sure you wanted to let this go?"
"Yes. She only just transferred here. If you corner her completely, she'll lose any place she has at the academy."
Truthfully, I thought my mental health might improve if she simply disappeared from school.
But transferring must have cost money, and she'd passed a difficult entrance examination to get in.
For the sake of her adoptive parents, I wanted her to make the effort worthwhile.
The game had only explained that the heroine was a commoner and an orphan who had been adopted by a kind viscount and his wife.
They had cherished her and provided enough education for her to transfer into the academy.
No matter what kind of person Lilin herself was, I didn't want to drive her out after all they'd done for her.
Education was fairly accessible in this world.
Even commoners could attend school.
I remembered reading in a guidebook that before transferring, the heroine had attended a free vocational school for commoners.
What students learned there and what students learned at the academy were completely different, both in content and difficulty.
Passing the academy's transfer examination at all was an impressive achievement.
Even if the driving force behind all that studying had been, I'm the heroine!, the effort itself had been real.
If she simply stopped interfering with us, I had no problem with her attending the academy normally.
For her adoptive parents' sake, I sincerely hoped she would do her best.
"Ferry, you're far too kind."
"Oh? I wouldn't say that." I laughed.
"My wife is simply too wonderful."
I had no idea what, specifically, he thought was so wonderful, but being praised still made me happy.
"I'll protect you, Ferry…"
"I'm not some weak woman who can do nothing but be protected, you know?"
"I know…but I'll protect you anyway."
I giggled. "Then I'll protect you too, Myuze."
When I said that, Myuze looked at me and smiled with breathtaking sweetness.
Two weeks had passed since I began living at the Lambest estate.
Had I gotten used to Myuze as my husband?
Absolutely not.
He kept my heart pounding and fluttering at all hours of the day.
Because we shared a bedroom, there was almost never a moment when I could switch my emotions off.
Meanwhile, Myuze's skills as a personal maid were improving at a terrifying pace.
I questioned that development constantly, but otherwise I was enjoying my new life.
I didn't have any classes necessary for graduation today, so I wasn't going to the academy.
Instead, Sena was supposed to teach me some of the duties of the lady of the estate, and in the afternoon I planned to have tea with friends for the first time in a while.
Myuze was busy today, going with Chris to inspect the territory and handle other matters.
After breakfast he reluctantly left, saying things utterly unlike his usual self.
"Whatever you do, don't overexert yourself! Honestly, Father should just handle every single matter concerning the territory!"
"Ferryyyy!" Sena threw herself into the moment with delight. "I finally get you all to myself! Myuze is always stuck to you—cling, cling, cling—and I never get any time alone with you! How have you been lately? Has the morning sickness gotten worse? Is anything troubling you?"
"I'm fine. My morning sickness seems mild, and thanks to your consideration, Mother, I can enjoy my meals. I've been very comfortable."
"Oh, Ferry! So stiff! You're so formal! You're just like Myuze!"
"A-am I?"
"I want us to be like sisters even though we're mother and daughter. And someday I want you to call me Mama."
She still hadn't given up on that?
"Come on, Ferry. Let's go out."
"What? But…aren't you supposed to teach me?"
"Hm? That was an excuse! An excuse! Spend the morning on a date with me."
Sena was so forceful that I found myself practically dragged out of the house.
And now…
I had been transformed into a dress-up doll at Sena's favorite clothing shop, an absurdly expensive boutique that supplied the royal family.
The clothes Sena chose were very different from what I usually wore.
Most of them were extremely sweet and feminine.
I hesitated, insisting that things like this didn't suit me.
Sena steamrolled right over me.
"What are you talking about? Ferry, you're adorable! These kinds of clothes suit you far better!"
I felt overwhelmingly as though I was simply being dressed against my will, but Sena was delighted.
When she discovered I was still wearing a corset, she puffed up in anger.
"What?! Absolutely not! No more corsets from now on! They're dangerous! Why hasn't Myuze noticed? Honestly, men are hopeless!"
We chose clothes until Sena was satisfied, enjoyed what was obviously very expensive tea served in equally expensive-looking tea ware in the private reception room, and then returned home.
"The clothes will be delivered next week, so wear them without holding back, all right? I ordered matching ones for myself too, so we can coordinate."
At some point, Sena had apparently ordered matching outfits for herself.
Was it really a good idea for adorable Sena and villainess-faced me to wear matching clothes?
"You look happy!"
"Do I?"
"It's written all over your face."
My friend Susanna of House Liens arrived that afternoon and immediately said it with a grin.
Beside her, Olive of House Josef nodded repeatedly.
They were two of my very few close friends.
Susanna was the sort who said exactly what she thought without hesitation.
Olive was quiet and poor with words.
They were complete opposites, yet somehow they got along wonderfully.
"Congratulations on your marriage," Olive said softly.
Both Susanna and Olive were one year older than me and had already graduated from the academy.
Susanna was undergoing bridal training in preparation for her wedding next year.
Olive would be taking a husband into her family, so she seemed comparatively free.
"Who could've guessed Ferry would be the first of us to marry? Totally unexpected! And you're having a baby, right? I still can't believe Lord Myuze made a move on you so soon!"
"Ferry becoming a mother…amazing."
"So? How is newlywed life? According to the rumors, he's doting on you so much nobody can believe it. I heard the Ice Nobleman has turned into the Blazing Nobleman! Well? What's really going on?"
"The Blazing Nobleman?! What kind of nickname is that?!"
"I heard it too. Apparently he dotes on you so much he kisses you at the academy."
"Why has that spread around?!"
I was flustered and answering their relentless questions when Myuze appeared.
"Forgive me for interrupting."
"Myuze! Oh? You're here? Is everything all right?"
"Yes. I thought I'd stop by for a moment."
The instant Susanna and Olive saw Myuze's meltingly sweet smile, both of them froze.
"Lady Liens, Lady Josef, please continue looking after my wife. I'll be going now."
"You're leaving already?"
"Yes. Father is waiting for me. Ferry, be careful not to trip. I'm going now, though I'd rather not."
He kissed me with smooth, effortless familiarity, smiled at me with obvious affection, and left.
The instant he was gone, Susanna screamed.
"Who was that?!"
Ah.
So that was her reaction too.
"Who was that?! I've never seen that man smile in my life! Is he a different person?! I just witnessed something impossible!"
"I'd never seen it either…so the doting rumors were true."
"I don't think it's enough to call it doting."
"It absolutely is! The Ice Nobleman who never smiles no matter what happens gave you that unbearably sweet smile and kissed you! Unless the end of the world is approaching, there's no explanation except that he's madly devoted to you! At the academy he carries you up stairs in his arms, and at home he helps dress his wife better than a lady's maid! How is that not doting?! The rumors were actually understatements!"
"That really was something precious to witness…"
Needless to say, they spent the rest of the visit interrogating me about newlywed life.
A month had passed since the heroine transferred in.
Since that incident, she had stopped approaching Myuze or me.
But she was still energetically pursuing the other romance targets.
Marion seemed to have thoroughly taken a dislike to her, so she now rotated from day to day among the crown prince, the future prime minister, and her childhood friend.
Except for the childhood friend, all those men should have had fiancées of higher rank than Lilin.
Yet no matter who objected, no matter how visibly annoyed the romance targets became, the heroine never seemed discouraged.
She simply kept pushing forward with astounding determination.
She didn't appear to be following any of the original game routes.
Nor did she seem to be triggering the proper story events.
She was simply charging forward with such desperation that I wanted to ask what on earth she thought she was doing.
All the charm I'd remembered from the game's heroine had vanished.
Honestly, it was painful to watch.
Had losing Myuze's route driven her into reckless desperation?
Today apparently belonged to the crown prince.
She was clinging to his arm even though His Highness looked more inconvenienced than I had ever seen him.
"Lady Lilin…I'm sorry, but could you step away from me?"
"Oh, don't be so cold!"
He lowered his brows helplessly and struggled to remove her arm.
I felt sorry for him.
If his affection were rising normally, this was about the point where a sweet, youthful romantic atmosphere should have begun developing between them.
Instead, the resulting event illustration would have shown a heroine transformed into a human burr clinging to a bewildered prince.
What on earth was that girl trying to accomplish?
Myuze and I were eating lunch alone in the courtyard when Aliza Zabo approached us.
"I have a rather serious favor to ask…"
Whatever it was, she seemed to find it very difficult to say.
"You may consider this disrespectful…"
"Please, go ahead."
I deliberately spoke gently to make it easier for her.
Never mind my villainess face.
"Would you permit me to write a novel based on the two of you?!"
"What? A…novel?"
"Yes! Would that be unacceptable?"
Once I asked for more details, I learned that Aliza was actually a published novelist.
She had already released three books.
Olive happened to be an avid reader of them.
I had read one once and remembered it being an extremely sweet romance.
"Why us?"
"The two of you are so wonderful together at the academy. I found myself desperately wanting to write a story modeled after you."
"What do you think, Myuze?"
"I don't mind."
I'd expected him to dislike the idea, but apparently Myuze was fine with it.
"I suppose it's only using us as models. It won't be our actual story."
"I don't mind if it is our actual story."
"What?!"
Had he lost his mind?!
"Myuze, have you gone mad?!"
"Th-then, may I ask a little about how the two of you came together?"
"How we came together…? It isn't particularly interesting, but I don't mind."
"Our first impressions of each other were terrible, weren't they?"
"Hm? I fell in love at first sight."
"What?!"
"Oh! You did?"
My eyes went round.
Aliza's began sparkling.
Love at first sight?!
Myuze had fallen in love with me at first sight?!
What was this?
I had never heard this before!
"T-tell me more!"
Naturally I leaned forward immediately.
He had just dropped a bombshell I could not possibly ignore.
"Outdoors, your hair glittered like rubies. I thought it was beautiful. Your kind eyes changed expression constantly, and I found them very cute. I fell for you immediately."
"My kind eyes?! Not my villainess face?!"
"What part of Ferry's face resembles a villainess? I know no woman as lovely and beautiful as you."
Aliza was right there, yet Myuze naturally stroked my cheek and gazed at me with narrowed, affectionate eyes.
I was the one who became flustered.
"Ahh…so wonderful."
Aliza watched us dreamily.
Over the next several days, she interviewed us a few more times.
Shortly before graduation, she released a novel titled The One Who Melts That Ice…
Unlike the romances of the time, it was written from a man's perspective, and the novelty combined with the charm of the story made it a major hit.
But that is another story.
Naturally, everyone immediately realized that Myuze and I had inspired it.
And between us, Myuze looked quite satisfied and declared, "Not bad."
MYUZE'S SIDE
I first met Ferry when we were ten years old.
Our engagement had been arranged because our families' interests aligned.
Before that, proposals for me to become engaged to a daughter of another ducal house had been made with relentless persistence.
Lady Caritia Belmont of House Belmont.
Apparently Caritia had fallen in love with me at first sight.
There was no issue with the relative status of our families, so when the proposal first arrived, Father had initially been inclined to accept.
But he was cautious.
After investigating House Belmont, he decided against it, and the matter collapsed.
Even afterward, they continued sending proposals.
Then severe rainfall caused the river in our territory to overflow, bringing major damage.
Through that disaster, we established ties with House Romanna, whose people possessed expertise in precisely that field.
House Romanna willingly provided both technical support and financial assistance.
Father considered it a waste to allow such a valuable connection to end with a single project and proposed an engagement between Ferry and me.
Although the Romannas were marquesses, theirs was a relatively young noble house and others often looked down on them.
They welcomed the backing of a ducal family, and so our engagement was settled.
If my parents chose someone, I did not particularly care who I married.
All I needed was to continue my studies as the future head of a ducal house.
Marriage would eventually become an unavoidable nuisance regardless.
So long as my wife was useful to the family, personal preference seemed trivial to me.
Then I met Ferry.
She was extremely cute.
Her strongly reddish-brown hair changed in appearance between indoors and outdoors, shining like rubies beneath the sun.
Her soft green eyes were wonderfully expressive.
They shifted with every thought so clearly that I could practically see what was happening in her mind.
"So this girl is my fiancée…"
For some reason, my chest felt strange and restless.
When Ferry stood in front of me, I suddenly had no idea what I was supposed to say.
I had always been quiet, but around her I became even more silent.
At first she smiled at me.
I noticed the smile gradually disappearing from her face.
Yet I still had no idea how to fix it.
Eventually Ferry gave up on me, crouched in the garden, and began doing something while humming.
Curious, I walked over and found her drawing mysterious life-forms in the dirt with a twig.
"…What are you drawing?"
The question escaped me before I could stop it.
"Can't you tell? This is a dog, this one is a cat, and this is a bird!"
A dog?
A cat?
A bird?
Even after being told, I could not see it.
"…Aren't you unbelievably bad at drawing?"
At my blunt comment, Ferry puffed out her cheeks.
"…So what?! I'm having fun!"
"Fun?"
"Yes, fun! Much more fun than sitting around doing nothing with you."
What was fun?
As far back as I could remember, I had never truly experienced that emotion.
I don't say this out of vanity, but I was extraordinarily good-looking.
Because of it, someone once attempted to kidnap me.
Women had touched me suggestively even when I was still a very young child.
If I carelessly smiled, women who misunderstood its meaning would sometimes fight over me.
So I learned to hide my expressions.
When I imitated Father's stern face, the number of women who approached me dropped dramatically.
Many people would shower me with anything I said I liked, so eventually I stopped having favorite things at all.
By burying myself in my studies, I could shut out much of the outside world's irritation.
I had lived like that since childhood.
Before I realized it, I had lost anything resembling childishness.
Mother would complain, "You're a child! Act like one!" but I had grown into a humorless, emotionless boy.
Somewhere along the way, I'd completely forgotten what "fun" meant.
"I can't help it if you don't like me! This is a political marriage anyway! But that doesn't mean I have to enjoy sitting beside someone who only glares at me and ignores me whenever I talk to him! You can do whatever you want! I'll do whatever I want too!"
Ferry's words shocked me.
My stern face and my silence—born only because I didn't know what to say—had backfired in a way I had never expected.
I had not been glaring at her.
Watching Ferry talk happily had been enough for me.
I simply stayed quiet because I didn't know how to respond.
But none of that had reached Ferry at all.
Looking back, of course she had reacted that way.
At the time, though, I had been too young to understand.
From then on, I made an effort to speak to her.
I did not want Ferry to hate me.
I had no idea why I cared so much then.
Now I can say it with certainty.
I had fallen in love with Ferry the instant we met.
Ferry helped me discover parts of myself I had never known existed.
"If you're going to call me terrible, then show me what you can do!"
When she challenged me, I drew something quickly.
Ferry praised me without reservation.
"That's amazing! You're so good! How can you draw this well? You're a genius! Amazing! This is incredible!"
Her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkled.
There was no calculation in her praise.
Seeing her excitement made me happy.
I wanted her to praise me again.
So from then on, every year on Ferry's birthday, I painted a portrait of her and gave it to her.
Every time she received one, she would beam.
"Amazing! Haven't you made me several times prettier than I really am? You could become a professional painter!"
To me, each portrait was merely a poor work that failed to capture even half of Ferry's loveliness.
Yet every time she received one, she showed it to her family and bragged, "Isn't it amazing?" as though she herself had painted it.
That was unbearably cute too.
Through her, I finally came to understand what fun was.
Painting while thinking about Ferry was fun.
Imagining Ferry's happy face was fun.
Watching Ferry speak with joy was fun.
Every sensation I associated with fun led directly back to Ferry.
Simply being with her made me happy and filled me with contentment.
"That is love," Mother told me, clearly delighted.
So this was love.
I was in love with Ferry.
Once I understood it, there was no stopping me.
I hated the men who entered Ferry's sight.
I even found myself entertaining the twisted wish that I might be the only man reflected in her eyes.
I had never known I could be so narrow-minded or jealous.
But I did not dislike it.
I was constantly shaken by Ferry's expressions and gestures.
It was ridiculous.
And yet I liked this version of myself.
I could think, I'm not so bad after all.
For the first time, I understood Father, who adored Mother so excessively.
Father always wore a stern face, but in Mother's presence he sometimes smiled or even grew misty-eyed.
It was disturbing every time I saw it.
And yet I knew I would probably become just as pathetic in front of Ferry.
The thought made me laugh because it felt like seeing my own future.
But the fact that I didn't mind that future at all proved how completely I had fallen for Ferry.